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Looking back at suicide thoughts one year ago (Read 2143 times)
Alcuin
Ex Member


Looking back at suicide thoughts one year ago
Oct 13th, 2004 at 4:58pm
 
There are times when all one's efforts seem to have been been for nothing, for example when a dear loved one turns away from you or passes away. I was at that point a year ago. There was a blank wall and black nothingness beyond.

Several people on this board encouraged me to look far beyond the black nothingness. I took your encouragement. I started with long chats in some online games, then when I gained enough courage to go back out and meet people, I did. Finally I permitted myself a new romance, some badly needed psychotherapy and a lot of meditation. In the past month, I've had an intense feeling that my guides are there to show me the way onwards.

As color has returned to my life I would like to thank those of you who were there when things were at their blackest. A conversation board with sensitive and thoughtful friends can make a lot of difference.

Alcuin
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Alysia
Ex Member


Re: Looking back at suicide thoughts one year ago
Reply #1 - Oct 13th, 2004 at 9:33pm
 
: There are times when all one's efforts seem to have been been for nothing, for example when a dear loved one turns away from you or passes away. I was at that point a year ago. There was a blank wall and black nothingness beyond.

: Several people on this board encouraged me to look far beyond the black nothingness. I took your encouragement. I started with long chats in some online games, then when I gained enough courage to go back out and meet people, I did. Finally I permitted myself a new romance, some badly needed psychotherapy and a lot of meditation. In the past month, I've had an intense feeling that my guides are there to show me the way onwards.

: As color has returned to my life I would like to thank those of you who were there when things were at their blackest. A conversation board with sensitive and thoughtful friends can make a lot of difference.

: Alcuin

I remember you. I always read your posts with interest. I'm glad you got through the hard times. we always try to listen here. love, alysia
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Star Spirit
Ex Member


Welcome back
Reply #2 - Oct 13th, 2004 at 5:57pm
 
Alcuin:

Welcome back.

No, just <B>welcome</B>.

We all too often spend a lot of time looking <i>back</I>. I think you'd be surprized at the number who venture here looking for the exit, only to be pointed to the stairs leading <i>upwards</i>. Your gift of presence is a huge reward to those who met you there and then.

You're right, of course: some of the kindest and most enlightened souls anywhere populate this board. I count myself among the blessed whenever I have a minute to reflect on the profound impact this site has on my growth and development.

I'm glad you're here.

Peace,

Herb
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gordon phinn
Ex Member


Re: Looking back at suicide thoughts one year ago
Reply #3 - Oct 13th, 2004 at 5:55pm
 
: There are times when all one's efforts seem to have been been for nothing, for example when a dear loved one turns away from you or passes away. I was at that point a year ago. There was a blank wall and black nothingness beyond.

: Several people on this board encouraged me to look far beyond the black nothingness. I took your encouragement. I started with long chats in some online games, then when I gained enough courage to go back out and meet people, I did. Finally I permitted myself a new romance, some badly needed psychotherapy and a lot of meditation. In the past month, I've had an intense feeling that my guides are there to show me the way onwards.

: As color has returned to my life I would like to thank those of you who were there when things were at their blackest. A conversation board with sensitive and thoughtful friends can make a lot of difference.

: Alcuin

Long time no hear Alcuin.  Your news is both sad and encouraging.  As always, I wish you well.

love, gordon
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