Quote:I'm exhausted. Trying to live a live I want, I can't get. Lost a whole youth seeking a truth I've just found. I'm still searching for some reason to strive on. I know i'm not alone in this world who is facing this. I know people are off worst, but they walk the path stronger than anyone, that is not my problem.
The reason to live isn't to suffer, is to enjoy. Everything else always gets into my way. Everytime i tried to make myself better, things turn out sour, somehow. That's the gravity of my situation. Its that bad...I don't feel alone, but I don't want that to happen to me.
Dear Massacre,
I like to think of what Matthew is saying in terms of creativity. When we don’t seem to be creating the things that we wish to create in our life, it is because we have what I call cross-purposes where we give ourselves reasons of why not. When we do this we effectively create our own inner torment and cause ourselves a great deal of suffering and we can very effectively wear ourselves out and begin to feel exhausted and perhaps without hope. We call this depression.
When we feel there is no hope is it very difficult to create what we want and we need to start to bring our self out of this state of mind little by little so we don’t start feeling too overwhelmed. I think a good place to start is by asking a question like what do I need in this very moment? Perhaps you might answer by saying something like, I need to create and feel more love in my life. Then continue to stay in the present moment and think of a simple way that you can accomplish this.
I like plants and gardening so I might do something like go sit in my sunroom and look at the tulip bulbs I’m forcing to bloom. Since this is something I enjoy, I begin to feel good. I can expand that feeling even more and create a loving feeling for these tulips and also for what I accomplished by putting them in the refrigerator for a few weeks and planting them. I may even pick up one of my favorite gardening books that have a lot of pictures and look at it. And all the while I’ll just let myself rest within the good feelings of love that I’ve created. As I become enthralled with thoughts of the things I love, my feelings within become very, very loving and this helps me to feel better and more hopeful.
When we feel exhausted as you mentioned, then I think we need to give ourselves permission to rest and let ourselves learn how to feel peaceful and content with the little things that are always around us such as taking pleasure in the grain of a wood door, the blue sky with a fluffy white cloud drifting by, or anything that is always around us that we can take pleasure in at that very moment. Creating the way we want to feel in the moment helps us to moment by moment create our life the way we want it to be. It helps us to get our strength and stamina back. It gives us the feeling of being in control and helps us to realize the power that is always within us.
Love and blessings to you,
Kathy