Don-

Your post reminded me of something I've wanted to discuss.  Namely, that most contacts with a deceased loved one tend to occur within the first year of death.

I've heard it said that as a loved one gradually withdraws, our contacts begin to diminish or disappear entirely.  I believe that to be true.

But that raises two questions.  One, how do we explain those mediums, like John Edward, who seem to be able to contact deceased folks with little or no problem?  Do you really think the mediums are contacting long dead relatives, or do you think they are using the "cold calling" technique, where they toss out a bunch of information until sooner or later they get a hit, and then build on the hit?  I find when I tape one of their appearances and then play it back, it seems far less believable.

The second question is this- is it possible that the reason contacts diminish after a year or so is because the contacts that we think we had were not really from our deceased loved one but from ourselves instead? 

Here's an example.  Many people report that they detect a fragrance that reminds them of the same perfume or cologne that their loved one used to use.  And they conclude that it must be a sign that their loved one is close by.

But we also know that odors are one of the most powerful stimulants in terms of reminding us of past events.  A smell of cedar can take us back years in the past when we received a cedar chest as a wedding present.  And there are countless other examples. 

When a loved one first dies, our thoughts are filled with them.  How do we know that our own brain isn't cooperating with our thoughts and memories, and producing for us the very fragrances that we associate with them?  Our brain is still not understood by modern medicine....maybe it's we ourselves that are generating the odors, and not our loved one at all.  That would also explain why such things tend to go away after a year, not because our loved one has gone to higher dimensions, but because the strength of our own memory starts to fade and along with it the fragrances fade as well.

I realize odors are just one example, but it strikes me that they may also be the best example of our brain fooling our selves.  There very well be many more.

((((((((RYAN))))))))

I am so sorry.  I wish I had words of wisdom.  My husband died a month ago on Monday.  Feeling confused, angry and disbelief are part of this journey. 

Pleae know that I am here for you.  Be gentle with yourself.

EileenY

Hey everyone,

I feel I really didn't say thankyou as much as i meant it, or rather put that into words, i never can but i guess you all know that anyway, words can only express so much....

Its funny you hear about death in the papers, in the news, even on here, and it does affect you, it really does me but not as much, i dunno i guess what I am saying is that untill it directly affects you you never really understand...and I feel bad in a way as i have been here through some of your losses, some i regret i didn't read till a while after so i really want to say sorry for not being there as much as you guys have me, makes me feel selfish in a way, but through ignorance, not of my own choice i really did care, just didn't understand.

I lost my grandad when i was younger but it never affected me in this way because i couldn't understand, or try. Well my cousin isn't going to be released till after christmas, so a funeral is long off as yet, its still unclear how he ended up under the car, something about a glass roof, i dunno, still a blessing is that it seems he past almost instantly. From what I heard as he lies there now he still has his same cheeky grin face so maybe he didn't know, i wish he had a chance but I'm glad he past quick. Family have the chance to see his body soon, even though not blood me and my blood cousins i think are going together...I'm not sure whether I want to but like I said I still can't accept it.

So I want to thankyou all, Tim, Don, Vicky, Alysia, Blink, Matthew, Kathy, Irene, Justin, Marilyn, Bob, Chumley, Black_Napkins, ap, Rondele, Lydia and EileenY. I know some of you have had even greater losses and i really feel for you and my support is here.

Ap said I have a lot of good friends on here that care for me, and i knew this but can see it so much now, I am so glad I have met all of you and hope one day i can be of service to you as you have helped me.

thankyou everyone

Ryan

My grandma passed away a few weeks ago, and it was more the distress of everyone else that got me down.

i would think to yourself, what could i do to honour the wish's of the person who had passed?

i think the greatest thing we/you can do is to,

Take care of the things which were precious to your cousin, such as his close family etc.

and honour his memory, get something, or do something which keeps you in his memory's for a few minutes each day.

Spitfire is a man of great wisdom!

A few things I can never understand about the whole stigma that surrounds death is this:

1) Deep down we all know that Death is not the end of our existence

2) I wish ppl would not be so sad as I believe they will see the deceased person again, of that I am absolutely sure.

3) There is an overwhelming body of hard physical evidence that proves the existence of the afterlife.  I dont believe that mediums use cold calling as the mediums who ive encountered do NO such thing.

Jambo