Alysia,
Being there is the best support I know of and now that my husband has decided to start caring for himself, in the past he claimed he wanted to live but assumed no responsibility for his health, my being there is critical. Those at the nursing home, as dedicated as they might be, just don’t have the time. I watched as his body gradually started to shut down and figured that it was his decision to leave-I started reminding him to meet me at 27. I decided that if he did not show effort, I certainly was not going to force anything on him and I defiantly was not going to assume responsibility for his physical problems. But after a stay in the hospital he just wanted to get out of there and back home with me and the cat and life. Meanwhile, during the stress of it all, I started making some really dumb mistakes, like leaving the bankcard in the ATM, sending checks to the wrong companies, etc. Mac’s the one who one day out of the hospital reported the card lost to the right people, I’m the one yelling all the way home that it’s important to act now on this.
So kicking and screaming, pissing and moaning, we got the job done with no loss. Meanwhile, since he got out of the hospital, he started making a lot of dumb mistakes like mine. Writing out all of the checks to pay bills but not entering amounts in the checkbook and throwing away the statement receipts. The mistakes that we were making were easily remedied and we helped each other to repair them but they increased our stress. Right now it’s like every day there is a mini disaster. He continues to struggle with gaps in his sight and has trouble grasping the schedule of a diabetic on insulin who needs regularity and low carbs in his diet, but he is really trying. And since he’s trying so hard I’m committed to helping him as best I can because he truly is a love and being there for each other feels good. Actually, this is the way we’ve worked together for these past 20 years and the only change is that he’s back in the game as opposed to gradual shutting down for at least the past 6 months. Plus we find out, after all the MRI’s, Cat scans, blood tests, etc. he’s basically healthy and it looks like he’s good for the long run but right now my job is to remember the instructions which the medical people want him to follow because he gets so nervous that he can’t remember anything they tell him or the order in which he has to do things so that it all will become routine.
I never aspired to be a super woman; I like my think space too much. That’s why I miss you all so much; this board was my private time away from the job, the chores, the million and one tasks that keep a home and income going. I get real tired and irritable regarding not having my space but I’m also impressed by how much I actually can do. Funny how that works, but still, I want to come back here to read all the posts and put in my two cents for at least a few of them every weekend and a couple of times during the week. Oh well, this too shell pass, hopefully by the 10th. Meanwhile, his daughters call almost daily instead of once every one or two months as part of his recovery and getting used to the insulin routine. That’s love in action for their little family.
Being there for my clients and their families now that there’s not a heck of a lot else to offer them, it seems funding for psychotropics will be cut at the beginning of the year 1/1/06 as well as Substance Abuse residential programs, and your just being there to recognize my stress, raise a cover, and pass on a tip about maybe relief being in sight-well- what more can I want in my personal movie-I’m a rich woman to have a friend like you.
Alysia, Thanks for Being There!!! (I loved that movie),
Back on track-for the topic-Maybe this is all a dream (not the Love parts)
Love, Jean
Spooky, I intend to respond to you-similar dream thoughts/observations and you, kind individual writing (review your posts, it may be already written)-hopefully this weekend-J