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Effective communication here (Read 2582 times)
LaffingRain
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Choose this Day

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Effective communication here
Nov 24th, 2005 at 3:43pm
 
How we effect one another..
general guidelines when you have roommates (includes forum roommates)

1) if after reading someone’s entire post, you cannot find one positive comment to offer, it is best you say not the negative retort, just scroll on by if necessary. nobody is asking you to assert your opinion that u have a contrary comment. it causes misunderstandings to come from a reactive place rather than a loving or positive place.

2) you may genuinally have something you think is positive to say, such as “I know what this person’s problem is therefore I will fix it.” Let’s not go there as trust me, nobody likes to be fixed around here.

3)examples of responsible communication are:
1)  stating what your first reaction is when  receiving a judgmental communication from another.
2) stating and recognizing what your intentions are on this board.
3) Don't go to bed angry by leaving the board in a huff...doing so means you have accepted another's opinion of yourself as true. anothers opinion of you, is just that; an opinion.
4) By stating what u are feeling right in the moment without necessarily concentrating on how the other person needs to be fixed, u point to the energy being generated on the entire forum which weaves it’s way through many threads. u allow us subtle observation of what is true for you without generating aggressive feedback.
5) To continue to be a loving community we need to:
a) focus on sharing, not teaching
b) Notice more what you are feeling when you respond to post. If you don’t feel love, be careful what you are sending out in the message.
c) Ask yourself what is my intention on this forum, with every single post u want to respond to. the intention will produce either a positive or negative effect and ripple through the entire forum for better or worse.
6) Feelings are important. it’s not coddling someone to express something good about them. I’m sure if someone wants what is called constructive criticism, they will ask for it. make sure they are asking for it before you decide to give it to them.
7) None of us are favored of God. We are all loved the same and equally. Put no one on a pedestal, therefore when they fall off the pedestal, it wont hurt them so bad and you’ll feel better about yourself too if u don’t make yourself “less than” another.
We are Gods. God don’t make junk. We have a chance to make a beautiful forum here. Let’s not be hurtful to each other and call it by something else, such as calling it freedom of speech.

we have this problem in society where the criminals rights are upheld, in some cases where they get off scott free in society to commit another crime because of the red tape. we also have this problem on the internet where predators are going after our children, and the powers that be are trying to decide whether the predators have “freedom of speech” rights to protect with their misleading websites.

Do we have the freedom to “not love and respect” each other here? You bet we do. Lets be a little more sensitive to the messages we put out here to make sure we send a statement which expresses or leads to solutions for getting along, not just pointing out the problem, and not statements of opinion void of consideration of the effect you draw forth to generate a bunch of negative reactions.

if you simply want to be challenging, challenge your own self. its nobodys else’s fault the world looks like it’s going to hell in a handbasket...to another it’s a fine and decent world..it just depends on what you’re offering to that world; are you part of the solution or part of the problem?

We are experiencing an energy now over the entire world where all negativity is exposed as well as positive energy..lets ride the wave by loving one another unconditionally. take my heart and don't injure it. and don't be a vampire either to suck the lifeblood out of someone else. yes, we still have spiritual vampires as well as predators of children. recognize them, say no thanks, and move into the light with or without them.


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... Who takes away death's sting deprives life of bitterness
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dave_a_mbs
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Re: Effective communication here
Reply #1 - Nov 24th, 2005 at 5:23pm
 
Love you Justin.

I get the impression that this forum gives poeople much the same reactions as Kubler-Ross cited fior people who just discovered they had an incurable disease.

First, denial - "Nah, it can't be that way."

Then rage, "How come God didn't tell me what I was getting into before I had to get born? What's all this about love your neighbor, nurture the wicked so that they improve, think clearly and not daydream about how wonderful I am?"

Than we want to bargaiun, "Maybe if we figure out how to work the reincarnation angles we can survive death after all."

Andf then we give up, "Oh well. I guess it's just that way. I'll have to live with karma and all those things after all"

d
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life is too short to drink sour wine
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Justin2710
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Re: Effective communication here
Reply #2 - Nov 24th, 2005 at 8:31pm
 
Quote:
Love you Justin.

I get the impression that this forum gives poeople much the same reactions as Kubler-Ross cited fior people who just discovered they had an incurable disease.

First, denial - "Nah, it can't be that way."

Then rage, "How come God didn't tell me what I was getting into before I had to get born? What's all this about love your neighbor, nurture the wicked so that they improve, think clearly and not daydream about how wonderful I am?"

Than we want to bargaiun, "Maybe if we figure out how to work the reincarnation angles we can survive death after all."

Andf then we give up, "Oh well. I guess it's just that way. I'll have to live with karma and all those things after all"

d


  I know you do Dave...  i think you understsand impersonality better than i right now.  I want to give it up, and i'm sick and tired of the karmic drama's...  At least i'm trying to deal with them openly and honestly, and i think that is the first step...  That and admitting you have a problem....

  I use to be a very repressive type person, in this life, and in the last, and i held a lot in unconsciously which could have been dealt with more healthily and consciously..  I'm trying to find that balance of getting stuff out...but without wrong intent.  Its apparent that i don't always have this balance...especially when my human self gets hurt to the deepest and most tender part of my heart, and others around whom he thought liked and loved him act like "why should he be hurt and upset, nobody but him did anything wrong..."

this is very frustrating to ego..., and because of that, it will be let go of.
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Carolyn
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Re: Effective communication here
Reply #3 - Nov 25th, 2005 at 10:22am
 
Sometimes it is helpful to



Take deep relaxing breaths



and re-read our own words



and the ones we are replying to



before posting.



Love and Peace,


Carolyn
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Rob_Roy
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Re: Effective communication here
Reply #4 - Nov 25th, 2005 at 12:20pm
 
This is the best articulation of good message board posting guidlines I've seen in eight years of posting. Thanks, Alysia.

Bob
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