B-dawg
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Posts: 596
Missoula, Montana
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In George Stone's "Most of us won't like the afterlife" post, Richard mentioned a "bully's hell." Now, I've never been a bully, although I suppose I had a few lapses into "bully behavior" (never systematic though) as a kid (which I'm not proud of, BTW... I was also cruel to animals as a kid (displaced aggression?) which I'm REALLY not proud of.) Mostly, though, I had to DEAL with the f**kers. I was a chubby kid with glasses... and it didn't help that I got beaten up IN FRONT OF MY DAD (a macho Vietnam combat veteran!) when I was about 12. The way my dad reacted, I don't think I've ever really got over this. Perhaps part of my "soul" is still stuck there..? I finally got busy about learning to defend myself, mentally and physically. But the trouble is... it has been a CONSCIOUS ("spirit") effort, all the way!!! Here's what really worries me. I have done some martial arts training (and some boxing as a kid, which my dad got me into.) I am highly skilled with a handgun, and have fair skill in things like simple weapons design and improvisation (a hobby of mine) and combative style knife throwing (a favorite pastime of mine.) I have a buddy who is my sometime "sparring partner" (he's a rookie cop, I'm helping him "sharpen up...") When I die, I fear I will be dropped into a "bully's hell" or "criminal's hell" of some kind, for use as a "victim", due to the fact that I have always had a nervous temperament. Will I at least be able to call upon some of my skills I learned (and continue to practice!) if I land in such a place, to at least make the scumbags look elsewhere for a target? (In my dreams, when I am confronted by an a-hole, I DO hit back... unlike the way I behaved as a kid..!) Or (if the mind-fracture theory is correct, and I lose my rational mind after my death, per Novak...) Am I doomed to play somebody's torture b*tch for the next 40 million years or so, as I'll be too confused to defend myself? (*NOTE* I still don't like confrontations, and get those "stew-gut" and "sick in the chest" feelings in dicey situations... a BAD, BAD sign I think...) THAT would be FAR worse than oblivion, IMHO! Anybody learned any "facts" about this sort of situation, in their astral (or otherwise) explorations, or reading materials?
B-man
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