Conversation Board - Some time we have to go through...

Vicky

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Re: Some time we have to go through...
Reply #45 - Oct 13^th, 2005 at 8:00pm

Spitfire,

I guess I don't understand why you think what I'm saying is hollow. I think you are misunderstanding what I said. I didn't say it is not important to look back on things. I said it is not important to find what caused what. Pointing fingers and pointing blame don't help anything.

Let me give you an example. I once knew someone who was in her 40s who whined and complained all the time about how bad her childhood was, how she was mistreated, etc. She said that is the reason she is overweight, doesn't have friends, can't find a good job. Okay, give me a break. We all have problems but we deal with it. If you spend your whole life saying "my life is crap because of what happend 30 years ago and that is why I stay miserable all the time" well then that's your own problem. If, however, you make the decision to say "I know what caused my problems, but I am not going to let that continue to ruin my life. I don't want to be miserable anymore". In doing that, you have consciously made the choice and the first step in improving yourself. Changing your attitude is the first step in changing anything.

I know you are more specifically talking about people with devastating illness, or who have gone through a devastating event, but the same thing still applies.

A person can decide to be filled with hatred and sadness about his past, but that won't help anyone, especially himself. Or you can tell yourself you are still a human being who deserves love, especially love from yourself. To be filled with anger is not a way to love yourself. But to let go of blame, anger, guilt, etc, is a way to say "I don't accept what has happened. I will not own it. I will not let it control me." And in that way you are freeing your spirit from additional (negative) karmic ties.

It might seem to feel good to "dish out revenge" as you said, but it is a false sense of accomplishment. Instead, if you think someone has wronged you, don't "own" it spiritually. What that means is, in your heart tell yourself you do not deserve that which you don't want. I know what you are thinking...the bad thing (illness, devastating event, whatever) is still there. But that is only physical. By not accepting the negativity spiritually, and by not reciprocating negativity, you have done your spirit a great service of growth. This is a very difficult lesson for any person. I myself know this and I can't even always follow it. I am human too. My buttons get pushed just like everyone elses. But try to see what I am saying.

About emotions, of course we are supposed to respond to our emotions and respond with our emotions. But HOW we decide to respond is what is most important.

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http://www.vickyshort.blogspot.com/

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blink Ex Member	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #46 - Oct 13^th, 2005 at 9:06pm Just an aside, Spitfire, that animated thing is making me a little seasick. Probably just me. love, blink
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LaffingRain Super Member Offline Choose this Day Posts: 5249 Arizona Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #47 - Oct 13^th, 2005 at 9:13pm it not just u Blink, it makes me feel like I'm a bug being swatted away...but it was cute at first...
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blink Ex Member	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #48 - Oct 13^th, 2005 at 9:29pm You're RIGHT, Alysia, get me that darn flyswatter, let's GET that thing! Whatever it is, it's making Spitfire soooo darn agitated!!!!! love, blink
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Spitfire

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Re: Some time we have to go through...
Reply #49 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 2:56am

Ahh noo, attack me, but leave my dancing pill!.

@ Vicky, i just think it's hard for people to understand that 1 foolish action of another, can cause someone a huge amounts of pain.

Im not for, the lets feel pity for ones self, though id be lieing if it does'nt cross the mind once in a blue moon, i believe you can offer the same lesson to someone who caused you pain, and let them experience what they put you through, to make them understand what they did was wrong.

I understand your view point, and i totally agree you need a postive attitude to get anywhere with life. You would see though, wanting revenge is a great motivator.

As one man said
"I need my pain"
"it makes us who we are, and what we stand for"

@ Justin, i understand your argument, it's like the jesus, slap on the cheek, do you hit them back or walk away?.

although i would agree in a perfect society were everyone's civil, this would go down a treat.

It just does'nt work in the modern world, if someone slaps you, and you dont retaliate, they'll keep on slapping you till they get bored, they wont feel any remorse, they will just think your a wimp, where as if you slapped them back, they would think twice before attacking you. Simply because it would not be worth the hasstle.

I think as you posted earlyier, some people must take on more then they can manage, in terms of pain. I guess it's like reading a car sale advert.

1 human body, bad condition, fully taxed, all the extra's, only 1 crash.

You look at what you will get out of the car/human experience at the end, and forgot what it really feels like to live in a world, were time moves slowly. In the end if a car/human is so badly damaged, it's not gonna move anywhere, it defeats the purpose.

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somebody

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Re: Some time we have to go through...
Reply #50 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 3:21am

if the world is so cruel let's change it!
of course we can't change the whole world but we can change ourselves because we are some part of this world, that's good beginning i think.

if someone slaps you and you don't slap him back probably he'll do it again, but maybe one in a thousand before slaps again will think "why doesn't he slaps me back?" and maybe this way you help him to change his life, he started to think more what is he doing.

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DocM

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Re: Some time we have to go through...
Reply #51 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 5:13am

It is true that in our society, fighting back, "being a real man" is looked up to, not Jesus' line about turning the other cheek. However, the fighting and negative feelings are registered. And the universe responds. If you fight to defend your family or country, then it is an unfortunate necessity, and so you must. I doubt you would incur much negative energy that way.

If it is a pissing contest, then at some point, the negative stuff you insert will come back at you. That is the essence of karma.

When Jesus talks of offering the other cheek, he is simply trying to make us think. To find a better way. (I'm Jewish btw by birth - not a bible thumper).

Matthew

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Kardec

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Re: Some time we have to go through...
Reply #52 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 7:21am

Thinking about the meaning of the pain.

When I reached my teenage time I started to suffer sort of a breathing “distress” (I don’t know how to say it in English) so I started to fight against the despair it caused me. I’ve even thought about suicide. I’ve tried every thing that was possible to find the cause and the cure.

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Since my childhood I tended to be a selfish and bossy guy and I always had a huge difficult to make friends once I was used to think much about my self. So my life started what could be a dangerous track to my “sensitive” nature.
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That time I started to pray asking God to heal me. I was despaired. It was like die without air.

At that time I did not realize that due to the “disease” I changed into a kind guy. I became very sympathetic related to the others pain and I was open to listen to the others. My entire life was changing to a better “track”. I’ve not even noticed it. I needed so much the support of the people around me that I was giving then support too.

So one day (I think somebody was trying me) the problem disappeared all of the sudden. I was really happy and I thought it was a miracle.

In a few days I started to do things again that were to dangerous and morally not correct and kind of a “soul pain” stroked back and my life started to take that dangerous “detour” again.

So something I thought would be impossible happened… I prayed for God pledging Him to give me back my breathing problem because I was not prepared to be healthy again. And believe it or not the problem got back and it helped me to get back on the track.
The rare moments when I was able to breathing easily were so special to me that I was not really interested in go out at night just to find trouble.

So I started to pray just to thanks God and my guides because I had learnt a lesson that worth to be learnt.

So as time as passed and the things I learnt became part of me the problem went away naturally but the lesson have stayed deeply inside me.

PS: Of course it’s not like an earthquake. When some one is born he can change His/Her destiny but we very often do not do it, so if we were born to lost our lives in order to understand its value, for instance, of course there is not a specific earthquake waiting for us. What happens is that our guides simple won’t do any effort to avoid us of being there at the time of the event. If we for any reason simple weren’t there at the time a simple fall at the shower can make us pass away.

A huge hug to you all. (We Brazilians like hugs a lot)

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My hope is to get there whatever does "there" mean...

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Vicky YaBB Administrator Offline Afterlife Knowledge Member Posts: 2170 Colorado Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #53 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 9:06am Wow, nice story Kardec, thanks for telling us that about yourself. Very powerful. I think that whole entire up and down experience you went through was all planned. It was exactly what you were supposed to experience as part of your learning. Hey, we Americans like hugs too, thanks for the hug.
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Kardec Senior Member Offline I miss something I don't know what it is. Posts: 276 Brasil - Porto Alegre Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #54 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 10:02am Vicky you were so kind thanks
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LaffingRain Super Member Offline Choose this Day Posts: 5249 Arizona Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #55 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 10:30am Kardek..thanks...
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LaffingRain Super Member Offline Choose this Day Posts: 5249 Arizona Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #56 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 10:31am Spit..fire...your pill stopped swinging around...I think you are a little more mellow now?
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Vicky YaBB Administrator Offline Afterlife Knowledge Member Posts: 2170 Colorado Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #57 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 10:32am Gosh...
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Spitfire Ex Member	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #58 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 11:53am Quote: Spit..fire...your pill stopped swinging around...I think you are a little more mellow now? You insult me madam, you know i get a kick from being a thorn
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recoverer Super Member Offline Afterlife Knowledge Member Posts: 5027 Gender:	Re: Some time we have to go through... Reply #59 - Oct 14^th, 2005 at 12:28pm Spitfire: I once danced at a club like you dance, and my date dumped me. It took only about one micro-second to get over it, but boy was that micro-second tough. That's okay though. Sometimes we learn through hard lessons. Quote: You insult me madam, you know i get a kick from being a thorn
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