Alysia,
If you’re going to hell, I’m going with you. Lol-I thought it meant lots of love??? Either way, it’s great. Anyhow, regarding books. Last week, when I was in a quandary on what to do about a perceived thrust and short on time, I started going through the inventory in love/forgiveness treasure chest, (you know the routine, My safety lies in my…I will judge nothing that occurs …I give up attack thoughts…started the (PUL exercise) remembering being loved and loving & remembering my personal favorite, my bro’s line, “We are what we hate!”) and then I remembered what I did last year to relieve a very doom and gloom frame of mind. I would take a walk and as I approached a deep wash in the road, I would start repeating the forth line of psalm 23, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of …". By the time I got to the other side, I felt some relief. Then I would hit the next wash and do the same routine resulting in more relief. This was my routine, for a while and till the feelings of desolation left me. Last week when I remembered this, I also remembered the only physical gift I have left from my father, who died on Aug. 19, 1957. It was a catholic missal translated into Eskimo by his friend and bush pilot, Father Metayer. My dad used to fly to some of the villages with his friend while he was working on the Artic Circle shortly before he died and he asked the father to write an inscription on the inside of one his missal-hymn books to me. As I read it, felt the warmth of my dad. You see, I have more trouble remembering the love that was given to me growing up than the loss, hurt, or negative memories (your post on 1st retreival of self helped me with this). Yet it’s the love and positive experiences that have allowed me to do quality service to others, not the crappy ones. This missal is water/snow damaged and pretty banged up, but I have held on to it through the many changes in my life however this is the first time that I have been able to put this wonderful part of my own history to some positive use for another individual/myself who is into the intellect.
I hope to blab on you love thread and the one on forgiveness intrigues me also and of course those wonderful retrievals. I’m writing now as if I won’t be able to in the future because my pc keeps shutting down. I started a response to you’re chat room but bam again and blank screen. Good Boy (pc)! Lol.

Love, Jean