Hello Everybody:

It seems as if I've been in contact with my higher self/I-there/disc. This contact comes in various ways. For one thing, I see flashing stars in a manner that seems intentional. For example, my attention will be brought to a place on a wall, and a star will flash right then.

I also see visions during my meditations. I "don't" mean that I see images of Jesus Christ, revelations, or something like that. I mean that I see images that occur in a way which tells me that I'm being communicated to by something beyond my ego self.

I also get spontaneous understandings. For example, understandings of how something such an I-there type of existence is possible.

Occasionally I'll hear a voice which will tell me something significant. For example, the other morning after waking up I first heard a woman's voice ask: "Who are you?" Next I heard a man's voice say: "The area of expertise is the heart."

I've been paying attention to my dreams, and they tell me things about myself and life. Going by how they are composed, they clearly seem to be created by something beyond my ego mind. By something that knows me intimately.

The first dream that really brought this to mind, went as follows:
I looked at my clock before I fell asleep. It said 12:15. I fell asleep and had a dream. I was drafted into the Army and was hanging out at a holding station in Germany, while I waited to be shipped to Iraq. I just couldn't understand why the Army would draft a guy who is 47 years old. I questioned what was going on, but since I experienced what seemed like a few days, I figured that I must be experiencing something real. But then I started to notice inconsistencies. Enough so that I woke up from the dream. But immediately I popped into another dream. In this dream I was the father and husband of a family. My family was pressing me about why I did something that was apparently wrong. But then I started to notice inconsistencies quicker than I did during the first dream. Upon recognizing these inconsistencies I questioned my supposed family about them. "What about this… and what about this (etc.)?"

Before I woke up it occurred to me that these dreams were perfectly crafted. The inconsistencies weren't too obvious, nor were they too difficult to see through. It occurred to me that what I experienced would make a great novel or movie.

And then I woke up. I had this sense of being an awareness/energy being, rather than a body, even though I was still aware of my body. I heard the mental message "just as you found inconsistencies in your dream, find inconsistencies in the waking state." I looked at my clock. Even though what seemed like a few days passed during the dream, it was just a little more than an hour later: 1:25. I got the mental message, "time is one of the inconsistencies of the physical World."

At about the same time I felt overjoyed with the feeling that I have finally made contact with my higher self. I mentally heard voices from my I-there say, "Yeah, you've finally made contact with us. I asked, "Do the flashing stars I see come from my I-there?" (I saw a bunch of them as this experience took place). The answer was an enthusiastic "yes!" I asked: "When I feel as if I'm having mental conversations with my I-there, am I actually doing so?" The answer was yes.

I then looked at my clock. The "1:25" (or whatever time it was at the moment) held perfectly still, except for the upper dot of the colon. It danced around as if to say hello to me. The rest of "1:25" stayed perfectly still. I felt as if my higher self was smiling at me through my clock. I know this later part sounds weird, but that's how it felt.

Despite how excited I felt about making contact with my I-there, I also felt a sense of uneasiness. The reason for this is because I felt that identifying with it meant letting go of all the definitions I had of myself. Definitions for which I assumed some sort of security is derived.

Eventually the experience faded, and was replaced with doubts such as: "Am I certain that I actually made contact with my I-there?  While I had the experience I didn't feel a need for such questioning, but eventually the skeptical part of my mind came back into play (Argh!).

The problem is that I've been mislead by my beliefs before. Because of this I'm not willing to take things for granted.

My desire to be certain about my "I-there" is the most important thing in my life (duh). You might say that I'm obsessed with becoming certain. Besides the above, there are a number of reasons for which I feel that the I-there concept (NOT A CONCEPT) is true.

I haven't had a disc vision as Bruce Moen has. However, a number of years ago when I was non-believer of the spiritual, I had this experience one night in which I was in space (probably not physical space). During this experience I came to understand that there is a reality beyond the physical universe, and it is "very" wonderful. At the time I understood "how" such a thing is possible, and that in the end existence works out wonderfully for everybody. When the experience ended I couldn't say how I understood these last two points. I just know that I understood them when I understood them. Sort of like how Bruce discovered the meaning of his vision of the disc, I've been rediscovering what I came to understand during the just explained experience.

So why have I wrote this? Because in this physical World I don't know anybody who knows about this disc thing, and I thought I'd like to say hello to somebody who does.

P.S. About eight stars flashed while I wrote this. Some of them said they love me. Some people might say I'm nuts, but I've been becoming more sane than I've ever been before. Not that I was actually ever insane. Just psychologically conditioned to an undesirable degree. My higher self has been helping me get rid of limiting ideas and misconceptions. I'm learning how to have a comprehensive view, as opposed to a limited, personal psychological conditioning based view. Thank you for your time.

Hi recoverer, this a conversation I had when I made contact:

Spooky, talking to himself after a meeting with his bigger self:
"Spooky! Can you hear me?"
"Yes, very well"
"Very good"
"If I could decide if I'm talking to myself or not"
"For sure you're talking to yourself. We are you and you are we. Forgot that?"
"Oh, yes, okay. It seems we have a good connection, I hope we will not lose this contact."
"Lose contact? Contact to yourself?"
"Oh, well, I see. Thank you for being with me."
"For us being with ourselves? For I being I? Me being me? We are always with you, we ARE you, I AM you"
"I am I. Oh, I mean I am my bigger I."
"This will do it for now"

About your concern of being misled by false beliefs: I would observe if you feel good with this contact or not. In case you are being told something to do what you don't want to do you can say "no", or if you have visions that are disturbing just tell "them" something like "this was too much, slow it down". Think of becoming acquainted with a person having some fine-tuning until it feels familiar.
Tell us about your further journey,
bye, spooky

Thank you for your responses.

Alysia:

Regarding the helping people wake up issue you brought up, it reminds me of something. I work with a lady who isn't consciously spiritual, but has a really good nature and big heart. Temperament wise, I learn from her.

First I had a couple of dreams which suggested that there is some kind of connection between her and I. On two occasions stars flashed right above her head while I was talking to her. One time while I was meditating I heard a woman's voice say "Albert (my name), can you help Betty* (the name of the lady I work with) wake up?" Before I help her, I feel that I need to become a little clearer myself.
*Not my coworker's actual name.



spooky2:

I've had similar inner dialogues. Usually when I speak with what seems to be my higher self, it refers to itself as "we." The idea is that we're a group effort, yet all one. Nobody in particular is in charge, even though some are more experienced. People usually like to think of the soul as having just one focus point of awareness. But why can't one soul have multiple focus points of awareness? It makes more sense that it would. Each point is free to tune into the whole as much as it wants. Even though much information is communicated to me, it seems as if nothing is forced.