Hey Brendan,
It's interesting, to say the least, to read your posts concerning suicide and heaven, etc, as this was how I found this board recently when I Googled "consequences of suicide." Not that I was actually considering it...just me entertaining a "what if" scenario, which I do all the time.
Frankly, though, I do see a lot of myself in you...I too wanted to be a professional pilot growing up, which was stymied by my hearing loss (which has grown worse over the years), and then having one dream after another dashed over the years...and yes, I do feel like a total loser sometimes, since I don't have a career worth mentioning and I'm currently at a loss as to how to be gainfully employed, as our current service economy makes it extremely difficult for someone who is unable to communciate using a conventional telephone to make a living. Granted, I've been quite fortunate otherwise, having received financial windfalls and the like which has kept me going all these years (which is why I have an overwelming desire to be *useful* to others these days, as I've been "subsidized" for far too long...it gives me the shudders to think of the hugmongous "account deficit" I've accumulated in my 38 years so far on this Earth...

)
But really, I sit here sometimes having all this free time to myself, wondering why I'm so danged "useless" in this world, which has led to the thought sometimes that I'd just be better off punching my ticket sooner rather than later, and starting over again with a better life plan...but I know that's not how life works, and I know deep down that if only I can work through my current problems that I can someday be of use to *somebody*, if only if can...if only...
Guess that's why I'm learning as much as I can, about everything, really...as I think that's what I'm here for...to learn as much about life (and everything else) while I have all this free time available to me.
But getting back to your "logic" of punching out now and coming back to have a different life...well, if there's one thing that I've learned about "logic" is that just because something is "logical" (in the here and now), it doesn't mean that's it's "logical" in the overall scheme of things...it just doesn't work that way. Don't ask me why...I just know that's how it is. If logic was really the way of the universe, then we wouldn't be having the problems we're having/about to have in this world, as everything would work out like it's supposed to be, like logic says it should. This is why I've given up on the "logic paradigm" a long time ago and began searching above, below and beyond, as it's more than clear to me there's *so much* that we just don't know...especially when it comes to my own psychic abilites like seeing the future, seeing what others are feeling/thinking, etc...it really doesn't make sense (according to logic, that is), but I do have it, and if you were to hang out with me long enough, you'd see what I mean. (Beleive me, I've freaked out a lot of people this way...lol..it freaks me out too, even to this day.)
You may ask (as any reasonable person would, I'd think) that if I have these "abilities" why my life is such a mess...well, I guess that's just how it works...the way I see it is that if I could just manifest everything I want, then life would cease to have any meaning for me, and what would be the point of living, then? If there's one thing I've learned so far is that I've come here to *experience* life, and if there's one thing that I've accomplished is that I've certainly experienced a great deal...not just my life, but in the lives of others, and for this, I'm eternally grateful. Just being able to *experience* life, no matter how difficult or disappointing it may be, is the greatest gift that God/Spirit/Higher Self could ever give me.
I'd love to keep going, but I don't want to be a board hog, so I'll leave at this for now. Please feel free to respond however you like, as I'm always searching out different viewpoints that others have.
Byron