Hi Guys,

Last Tuesday, when I was home from work, I listened to what I thought was going to be a retrieval of another person on one Bruce’s Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook Cds.  I had decided that I would attempt to check on my sons’ stepmother who died last May and then ask her for something that would verify that we had made contact.  If this worked out, I was then going to share this something with one of my son’s to see if the information checked out.  But much to my surprise the retrieval of aspect of self came on instead and I just went with the flow.  This time I met a guide who was a motherly type and she pretty much stayed in the background during the whole experience.  With this retrieval, I need to mention that I did not write anything down when the exercise was over because I was too tired and needed to get ready for work the next day.  So this is the first time that I am actually recording it even though I did periodically recall it during the week.

As I followed along with the scene in the park and swinging and then meeting up with my guide, I was directed to seek an opening from the various possibilities suggested by Bruce.  I floundered a bit but then settled on the possibility of a portal into a group of trees.  I was feeling halfhearted about this exercise as I had done the bst retrieval the day before and was still reeling from it but I continued to hang in there and follow the guidance on the tape.  Suddenly I realized that I was in the middle of my favorite spot when I was a kid on the shores of Lake Champlain in New York State.  It was a pine tree grove with its familiar smells, dark quietness, and soft pine needle ground.  It was where I loved to retreat when I was small and on summer vacation. I was home. As I looked around a saw a girl of about 8 to 10 years old, a little chunky, and wearing a yellow dress.  I looked at her face and saw that she was just a kid with my same high forehead and eyes.  I felt such love for her, familiarity, and compassion for her as I sensed that she had been waiting there for a very long time.  She had been waiting there feeling ugly, stupid, and somehow just not good enough.  Just a normal kid with all her self-doubts and vulnerabilities.  All I wanted to do was to bring her to me and hug her.  So I did and felt good.

On reflection, I realized that she/I must separated about the time I was molested by my friends older brother.   I knew then that I had to keep the “secret”  and it was not until I was married with children and at a CR group at UCSB that the “secret” was finally revealed.  It was also about the time that I realized that I was not too bright.   I learned this from my public school environment.  I also learned, at this time, that I was not beautiful, popular, and chunky.   All the concerns of a pre-adolescent.  But the truth was that I was just a normal healthy kid having some of the experiences of the other kids around me were having but no one was talking about.  I love that kid and in her face I saw my sons and all the faces of kids about that age.

This was not an earth shattering retrieval, but it sure did comfort me. I’ve noticed, during the last few days, that I’ve spoken my mind a little more at work and I’m not so concerned if the other guy doesn’t agree with me.  I’m also not so worried if I haven’t completely thought out beforehand what I’m going to say, especially to someone of authority.  Maybe just a tiny step for me but nonetheless an important one.  Thanks again, Bruce.  It’s funny that I thought that I loved the smell of anything menthol because of Christmas and Christmas trees. But it took me having this experience to remind me of why I really love the smell of pine.  I want to include this exercise as a part of my regular routine because the aftereffects are GREAT!

Love and Gratitude, Jean        
   
        

Mairlyn,

Thanks again, I do appreciate your support and I also enjoy reading you threads.  I wish that I had more time to focus on the retrieval Cd exercise as they work alot more smoothly for me than the Harborside tapes did or maybe I'm just more ready.
The Gateway tapes didn't work for retrievals but they sure did work for me shifting gears and recognizing alterconsciousness so that I could respond to Bruce's 3 relaxing breaths, etc.

Much love to you, Jean

Jean said:This was not an earth shattering retrieval, but it sure did comfort me. I’ve noticed, during the last few days, that I’ve spoken my mind a little more at work and I’m not so concerned if the other guy doesn’t agree with me. "
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then I hear you saying self retrievals are making your confidence level rise Jean? I'm glad we can discuss the benefits of retrievals here with the opportunity of your post. my motor's humming. lol. I'm surprised you've noticed the benefits already. took me awhile with my first child retrieval, of the abandoned child self, but I felt that love for her the same as you did, although she seemed like any child found anywhere on any street corner. pondering for days on her identity and meaning to self I recalled the incident and learned to forgive it. didn't see immediate effects like you did. until....
a friend came along who does retrievals naturally, sorta was born to do it I suspect, through acts of love. I had buried the singing self. oh dear. must not bury things so deeply. long story short began singing again, a couple months later, but didn't know I would sing at a garage sale on the street. lol. it was crazy. I never would have acted this way before. is why I mention it publicly that retrievals can change you...subtly at first, or as in this incident not so subtly. two teenagers were singing a 50's tune at this GS I had wandered into. well, 50's are right up my alley and as I didn't want them to miss a beat or a lyric so I joined in, and they did need to crank it up higher as well. they didn't think it was strange I was doing this, but I did! would never have happened before the retrieval. it was an enjoyable event. thinking about it later, singing in the street is not what this world is about, but maybe it should be, at least once in your life, right? lol. you are a natural Jean, maybe others will try it here because of your post. btw, I have never used tapes and never been to TMI except in my dream state once and my imagination.  reading books catapults me into imaginative areas.in case anyone wants to try it who's reading this, I imagined that a guide was there placing images in my head that I was supposed to just look at and not blow off. then I'd say hello to whoever I was looking at and a conversation would develop from there, or a retrieval. it really is easy once you get past the first few hurdles of feeling dumb. love, alysia