Amazingly Simple!!!

It was amazingly simple! First a little background:  I’m the sort of individual who when “Life gives me lemons, I make lemonade” but last week I had a truckload of lemons dumped on me.  Alysia was right; I was headed for a burnout.  (Reminder from my perspective: It’s not the people I work with, the clients or other C.M.’s or the people I work for that is burning me out-but the system that has it’s auditors and paperwork adnauseum.)  Although, the morning before the burnout, I do remember our psychiatrist at the staff meeting telling us that the delusional voices that the clients hear come from a chemical imbalance in the brain.  I mentioned the possibility that they are hearing real voices that the rest of us don’t hear because we have stronger filters in place.  He responds as if I had “farted” and ignored what I had said and went on with his rhetoric.  I do need to mention that I sense that he really is a kind man, a dead ringer for my son #2.  Also I had the same lecture two weeks before from son # 2, the biologist, but he added at the end that maybe that wasn’t the entire story.  Maybe there’s still hope for him to think out of the box?  Meanwhile, I glance quickly at my Team Leader, who is also into the “funny stuff” and we connected for a split second.  I later confirmed this connection.  Also later that day another C.M. came over to me to state that “she saw dead people”, a line right out of Sixth Sense, and proceeded to give me three delightful stories of her encounters with a woman who had died in the house that she lived in with her two boys and how bad she felt that she had hurt this woman’s feelings (I suspect a retrieval is needed here).  Anyway, Alysia, how’d you know, LOL?  Meanwhile, my only relief from my work is this board.  It helps me to shift gears while providing me with other individuals to listen to and make contact with if I so choose.  Well, Saturday my virus protection gave out and I had no luck in downloading a new program.  So burned out with no contact to the outside world, I turned to reading more and more of the Afterlife Knowledge Guidebook.  By Sunday night, I had decided that I could not face work, so I took Monday and Tuesday as “sick” days.  You have to understand that I very rarely take time off when I work for money, but for survival, I had to make an exception. 

So Monday came and I dropped my husband off at the airport and faced the rest of the day with the job of getting the virus protection once again in place—but no chance for various reasons.  I read more of Bruce’s book and started listening to the Cd’s and not really paying attention to the titles.  I just sensed that there were so many that I was just going to weed my way through.  I started listening to one that had me picturing myself on the beach and had some really good visuals as I had lived there 5 years ago.  Then I was to picture a guide, and for the first time in my years of trying to find one, he was right next to me in all his glory.  He was very large and about 6+ feet tall with a dark tan complexion and heavy features.  But as I looked at him, he had the sweetest face and twinkling blue eyes.  Probably a little overlay from a TV show on surfing the big waves in Hawaii the day before, but he was kind and I felt great that he was “really” there.  The reading and Cd on using imagination and focusing on the flow earlier were really helpful.  But then I realized that this tape was actually guiding me to do a retrieval in the BST-I mean really-Right Now!   It caught me unawares but it was just what I needed to finally get me started.  So it was like this helper and Bruce’s Cd guidence, that gave me a gentle boost forward into the darkness with far away tiny glowing balls.  It happened so fast.  Then I came upon an unpainted fence that was about six feet high and a bit worn. I noticed that there was a dip in my emotional level that indicated to me that I was facing a depression as opposed to the light relaxing feeling I had on the beach but it quickly subsided.   I was next guided to look behind it and found a back door to a rather run down house.  I sensed that this was a community of shabby wood houses with fences; a sort of shantytown came to mind.

Anyhow, I walked up the steps and met a slim woman, about 30 years old, with limp mid length hair standing in front of her sink with a sort of forlorn look. She wore a freshly ironed gray-blue flowered slightly A-lined housedress with a large white collar and same fabric button belt. I greeted her and observed that I had transformed into a similar type of person with the same body type and ironed housedress but with little more outgoing personality.  She turned towards me and I asked if I could come in and visit with her.  All the time, I was focused on her I was following Bruce’s guidance.  I asked her what her name was and she said Mary (the last name started with an F, but I couldn’t quite get it) and as a I asked her what is this place, the guide, who wasn’t really in the room said that it could be anywhere that has “poverty of mind”.  I thought/felt poorness and depression plus the belief that there is nothing interesting outside of this environment going on.  I sensed that no one in the community visited or connected with each other and that she may have starved to death.  When I asked for something from this woman to have as proof of my being here, she showed me an oval medal about a half-inch long that had some light turquoise blue on it and a carving of St. Christopher or St. Mary in the middle of it leaded looking boarder.  I asked for a cup of something to sit down at the kitchen table with so we could visit.  I built the feeling of PUL when directed by Bruce and it came easily but then it was also time for the helper to come.  She came up to the door to fetch me and we invited Mary to come along for a ride in her red convertible.  I was one of those big Chrysler types from the 30’s and boy, was it shiny red with heavy chrome!  It happened so fast and with such good feelings that Mary came along easily for a ride to the park.  It was quick!  And when we got there, I noticed how vibrant the greenery and sky were.  The whole area was manicured and a few glistening white lawn ornaments (urns? One sort of looked like the top of a mosque with a point) dotting the landscape.  As we came to a stop, a woman and man about Mary’s age came up to the passenger side of the car to greet her.  She recognized them as her brother and sister and they all went off together.  The woman was very similar to Mary in build and the man was slim and had short blonde wavy hair and I sensed/was told? that he might have died in a war. I sensed/was told that her sister died in her young adults years also. 

On reflection, what enabled me to be seen by Mary was something to do with coming from a similar sense of feeling or rather understanding or being in tune with how she was feeling. Maybe just a little too close for comfort for me?  I don’t mean that I was feeling the same as her because I knew that I was doing a retrieval, but more to do with us both having the same vibes whereas she could not “see” the helper because that individual had different vibes.  And it was because the helper had different vibes that the “girlfriend” who came to fetch me could work so quickly to get Mary to go along with us but was limited in getting her attention initially. It was the “upness” of my friend’s attitude and my familiarity/trust with my friend/guide that got Mary to leave the “poverty of mind” “stuckness”. 

I suspect that I was given this retrieval for two particular reasons: one was that it was amazingly easy for a first Cd guided attempt and the second is that it might be one of my selves that doesn’t quite trust that there’s a big interesting world out there with which to explore with limited funds and little education and may too heavily tend to rely on others (the brother and sister in this case) to find it.  I almost want to delete the last reasons because of possibly too much analyzing or interpretation.  Anyhow, I was amazed at how much I was able to stay focused after having the retrieval exercise loom so big before just “doing it”.  During this exercise, I didn’t hear self-talk and my mind did not seem to wander, it more was like I yielded into the flow of the scene and became part of it.  I didn’t want to hang around for more exploration because I was anxious to record this (I was afraid that I would forget as I tend to do about my dream experiences-refer state specific) so I thanked the guide and shifted gears to jot down as much of it as I could remember.  I’m writing this out on Tuesday but the retrieval is as fresh in my mind (not at all like my typical dreams because I was really awake during this and there was more memory intact) as when I experienced it.  After I wrote this, I noticed that I had included everything that I had jotted down immediately after.  I don’t, at this point, want to give more details, as I’m concerned that I might start to over analyze and therefore embellish the experience with too much interpreter overlay as I may be already doing.  A Big Thanks To Bruce-even if it wasn’t a “real” retrieval in the BST or 23-it sure was an interesting adventure and it got me out of my doldrums.  And it sure felt REAL!  Now back to the job of getting to know an assortment of individuals on this plane at my job to prepare for retrievals (I’m attempting to get over my shyness and prejudices about people with different experiences in life) and hopefully to get some new virus protection so that I can post this.

Lots of Love and Gratitude, Jean   

Afterward: Wednesday I went back to work but it was a struggle for me to stay focused.  I felt very “spacey” and couldn’t quite remember what I was supposed to do.  I barely made it through the day but by Thursday, I was back in stride.  I guess that I did, indeed, need some time to integrate the experience.  After writing down what I remembered of the experience on Tuesday, I went on to do a retrieval of an aspect of self.  Again, this was not the lesson I had expected.  I thought that it was going to be a retrieval of another person so I was caught off guard.  Once more I found out that it worked better that way for me because it made it more real, but that’s another story.  Two things that I want to add are that even though it’s a pain, it’s important to jot down everything you remember immediately after and that it’s a wonderful thing, and very reinforcing to be able to formally write the whole experience down to share with this board. 

THANKS!!!, J.      

Jean, this is great, u fall into it so well as I think you are a service type oriented person with a wide open heart. I think we share a similar path...I was told by an astrologer long ago I had come here to be in service. then lol, I became a housekeeper for awhile, thinking, well, maybe this is what she meant. lol. it's all good.

I think this is a real retrieval, as you have no expectations for to base a comparison on, so you must trust yourself, but I can give u my 2 cents, and it is that it was real, and getting their attention is usually all you need to do. and yes i was doing retrievals when I began to wonder one day if all of them were just parts of my own self, my disc. so it made me look closer at them. I would ask to do them, and find out later a few were self retrievals in disguise, took me awhile to figure that out. was a good way to release a lot of hurt feelings that was hanging around.
it's like ACIM said "your creations are holding their hands out to you"  never could figure that one out, until I began retrieving myself left and right, you know, accepting myself. I'm only human after all! lol.
I don't think you are over interpreting anything, because the more you think about your experiences, it sometimes causes you to see more ideas about it, like a rote unstringing itself. just feels right the things you say from my experience. and you "played along." this is Bruce's words, to me famous in my mind....Play along. it just means you flowed with it, without too much doubt interfering. so glad to hear the PUL was easy to feel, was not this way for me in the beginning..too much doubt was there to feel anything for anybody. later was only reason to ever retrieve anybody and charges up the experience and makes things move, it opens up greater awareness which is like newborn life itself to me. good on ya mate!

Thanks for such an interesting post.

this page is more interesting than the main topic page.

Hope you have another interesting experience to post soon. Who knows; maybe you will bump into the sources of those voices people hear someday. Just don't tell you boss!