Hello friends,

I am at the stage in my life where I am thinking about bringing another human being into this world.  I have mix emotions about bringing a child into this world.  One part of me is screaming at me not to make the mistake of bringing a child into this world of hardship and misery.  Another part of me wants to enjoy parenthood which I feel is a selfish reason to have children.

I remember reading a story from NDE website in which a lady almost died in a plane crash. In her near death experience, she met her future son. Her future son told her that she has to live, so that he can be born on earth. This story echoed in my mind whenever I debate whether to bring a child into this world.

What is my duty as a human being?

Should I use my body as a vehicle to bring others into this world?

Is it wrong of me to feel that bringing a child into this world is a selfish act? I remember feeling angry at my parents for bringing me into this world.

I have visited this website since 2002, and you guys have helped me grow stronger as a person. Because of you guys, I have become more loving to everyone. Even during my lowest points in my life, I understand my purpose on earth because of what you guys have taught me. I must admit though, there are times I think suicide would be the best way out... However, I will not kill myself because I am already here - might as well make the best of it!
But, my child is not here,yet! So, I can do him/her a favor by not choosing to bring him/her into our world. What do u all think?

I am afraid of bringing a child into this world. It will break my heart to see my child suffer through life. I know I will not be able to shield my child from saddness, disappointments, frustrations, despairs, etc...Maybe it is best to  protect my child by not giving him/her the gift of life.

I hope some of you can help me process this issue.

Thank you,
Linh

Hi, Linh ~

I have been deeply touched by your post...I can feel the struggles inside of you.  Please let me share my thoughts and feelings on the issue you have raised.  I will preface this with the note that my view comes from my personal experience and perspectives about life and motherhood.  As for this life, for every misery I can identify a source of beauty and wonder.  A warm and loving family, dear friends, learning about the source of all life (and the afterlife), a lovely sunrise and a beautiful sunset, a cool dip in the ocean or lake or pool on a hot day, the wonder of a snowflake and the fun of playing in a whole lot of it.  These are just a few things that come to mind on the 'beauty and wonder' front.  Yes, there is a lot wrong in the world.  But there is also a lot that is right.  And as Herb has pointed out, there is much hope on the spiritual front.  Your future child just might be a source of great positive change!  As for motherhood, it has been the most fantastic and incredible and rewarding and challenging experience of my life.  In my opinion, you would not be selfish to bring a child into this world, because even if you were to just be the best mother you could be, this child would be blessed to know the power and joy of your love.  A child who knows love can do amazing things, and also sees the world through the blanket of this love.

Linh, I hope that I have not gone on too much.  I share all of this from my heart.  You need to make the decision that is right for you.  I wish you all the best.

Much love, Sydnei

Dear Linh, Sydnei and Herb say it really well for me as well. I too, am a mother. A mother who wondered if I should abort. Later on in life I did abort. so we have that choice. however when I first learned I was carrying a child when I was 25 I felt this love all around me ( I had twins and didnt know) their spirits wanted to be born and they wouldn't let me back out even though I didn't know the first thing about raising kids, was always messing up it seemed. they don't come with instructions. but wow, what a ride they have given me and still are. without kids and their enthusiam for life, this world would hardly be worth living in to my perspective. they have kept me young, interested in life, and I couldn't have made it this far without them I know. one time they were the reason to keep on keeping on. Now they turn to me and say I was a good mother. that to me is incredible as I didn't see it quite the same way. build your family with love and you will have something quite eternal then.

Dear Linh,

Your story is very touching to me as well.  I believe that each of us not only has chosen to be born into this world, but we each have also chosen the parents we have, the family in which we have been born into, as well as the circumstances that will surround us throughout our entire life. 

Should you choose to have a child, this child would have not only chosen to come into this world of his or her own accord, he or she also would have chosen you to be his or her mother.

The best advice I can give you is to follow your deepest desire regarding this.  If you long to be a mother, then by all means follow your heart.  You are by no means being selfish.  You will be presenting an opportunity for another soul to experience life with the earth.

"The only thing to fear is fear itself."  Each of us is truly safe at all times.  We only believe that we are not.

Love and peace,
Kathy

Dear Linh

I thought the same after having my second child,because of the way the world is BUT after having my Third Child ( Which wasn't planned ) I do not know what i would do without him! He has learning problems and has ,and is, still struggling,but he has brought so much love into our lives and we adore him so much! Before we all get to the other side of life, we continue the love we have with our precious family and will carry it over.

Just remember, we have fun here just as we have heartache etc, Life can be cruel,very cruel at times,but can also have wonderful times! I don't think I could imagine life without my beautiful children,they bring a lot of happiness,and they also get it back from us,as parents! It is only you who can decide weather you should bring a life into this world. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. It is because your a caring person that makes you question this! Bless you. xx

Hi Friends!

Wow! Thank you for all the vast inputs you guys have provided me! I knew people on this board would come through by giving me such heart felt responses that literally brought tears to my eyes.

I just want to emphasis the quotes from each of you that helped me come to the conclusion of becoming a mother! Yes!  I am committed in bringing another human being into this scary world, but I will be providing this person with unconditional love.

Again, thank you all for responding and helping decide my future!

" how your potential role as a mother plays into those plans." - Herb

"A child who knows love can do amazing things"-Syndei

"build your family with love and you will have something quite eternal then."- Alysia

"you do have the chance to make
the world a better place by giving life to a
loving and caring person. "-- Choppy

"You will be presenting an opportunity for another soul to experience life with the earth. " - Kathy

"providing for my needs throughout my childhood and allowed me the privileged opportunity of entering this world."- Bruce

"they bring a lot of happiness,and they also get it back from us,as parents" -  goldyflocks

"If YOU feel strong enough to do this, your children will make their way and be strong too" - Cheryl

Dear Linh,

I am very happy to hear that you have made a decision.  Doing that always seems to make us feel lighter, especially when we know it is the right one for us on a personal level.

My greatest learning and most wonderful experiences in life have come from my children who are now grown and have given me the most wonderful and loving grandchildren.  They are all a most glorious gift.  I know you have much to look forward to.

Love, Kathy

Dear Linh,

It's so good to see you again!

I had similar feelings. Back then it was the Cold War, pollution, overpopulation etc, plus I didn't think I could be a "good mother". But my first child came "unplanned" and opened the door to a new dimension to life I could never have imagined.My children are young adults now, and have become my role models for their optimism, creativity, courage, strength and humor (they make me laugh like no others!). They and their peers give me hope and fill me with amazement.

On top of that, children stretched my capacity for love, and faith. It is true, I worried most of the time, but looking back, I wish I had given up that habit early!

Trust that your children will help to bring love and healing to the World. And trust that you will allow them to do that in their unique way.

I can't promise that you won't have regrets or doubts, but you will learn and grow and discover...it's like adding color to a black and white world, or going from 2 dimensions to 3-D, you have to experience it to believe it.

Love and Peace, Carolyn

~~Love to you Linh, and ALL the life that you touch.