Posted by jeff on April 05, 2002 at 12:21:32:
I changed the tape, laid down, did a couple of energy gathering breaths and found myself walking back into the room. Katie/Becky sat on the bed in awe. "How come you can leave through the door and I can't? she asked. At that point I realized she still didn't know she was dead. Since I didn't have a quick answer I just shrugged my shoulders.
I asked her what had happened (meaning just before things started getting weird). She showed me her wrists which had two ugly, bleeding wounds. Apparently her parents (or guardians) had restricted her to her room. So she pulled out a blade and started carving up her wrists. Her conscious intent hadn't been to kill herself. But she'd apparently gone further with carving herself up than ever before. As she lost blood she slowly lost consciousness. Not realizing she'd died, she "woke up" in her bed thinking she'd merely fallen asleep.
At that point I remembered to ask her what year it was. She said 1975. I saw an image of a calendar turned to the month of October. Then I asked where we were. With a puzzled look she told me. It sounded like Raceiro, California. But I knew I wasn't getting it clearly. Then I got "near Tarzana". Katie's attitude was "like you don't know where you are?"
I pointed at her wrists and said that I had a friend who was a medical doctor. Katie/Becky got suspicious and said she didn't want to go to the hospital. I said no, my friend was really cool and that she'd like him. I looked at Jamil standing next to her, waiting for Katie/Becky to become aware of him. He merely smiled. The next thing I knew the door opened and in walked his handsome young blonde guy dressed like a medic. Katie's eyes brightened. I could immediately tell she was smitten. She also seemed to know him although exactly how I don't know. They hugged and talked as the blonde man examined her wrists. I'm not sure, but he might have told her that she'd died.
Confused I looked at Jamil. I thought you said it was just going to be you and me, I communicated telepathically. He smiled again and then I "saw" an image of the blonde guy coming out of Jamil. Apparently this was a projection he was sending out.
The young man helped Katie/Becky up and we began walking. The scene around us changed and very shortly we stood in the hall of a hospital. A nurse came up with a rather old fashioned wheel chair and took Katie/Becky to a room. An older doctor came in and began talking to her. They got her into bed and the blonde guy kissed Katie and said he had to go. He said the doctor and nurse would take good care of her.
The blonde guy left as did Jamil and I. In the hall the blonde guy merged back into Jamil, who explained that this was an incarnation of his from Ancient Britain. I got a brief flash of the blonde guy dressed in a leather tunic, something like what a soldier might wear.
Jamil told me I was chosen because like Katie/Becky I've turned my anger inward. This internalized anger resonated with hers. I've never had the urge to carve myself up. But I do remember having destructive urges as a child which, by force of will, I stopped giving into. As an adult I've also worked hard to heal my internalized anger.
Jamil said that her name was indeed Katie Beckinsdale. But since it's so close to a famous person's name I still have my doubts.
When I asked what would happen to Katie/Becky, Jamil said that the doctor and nurse would slowly heal her wounds. They would need more time, however, to help heal her emotional wounds. This particular hospital in Focus 27 specialized in handling suicides.
Then Jamil surprised me by saying, "we know each other." He said we'd worked together in the past, my past. Intrigued I asked if we could work together again. I also asked if I could come back to this hospital in Focus 27. He smiled and said yes.
I said goodbye and came back.
By the way, re-reading this I realized that just prior to Katie/Becky starting to carve herself on the bed, I saw a flash of silver. That's what made me flinch. Then I realized she was holding a knife and watched as she started carving herself.
I'm realizing that it's better to try and record everything as it happened because then I won't be unconsciously editing stuff and most likely introducing Interpreter Overlay stuff.
Anyway, that's it folks. I'll post Retrieval #3 for that day in a few days. I still haven't finished the tapes yet. I've still got to do the Retrieving An Aspect of Self exercise which I'm really looking forward to.
Love and light to you all,
Jeff