I haven't been to visit my old friends here for quite a while. Life has a way of pulling us in many directins.  But for those of us here and elsewhere that have found something so powerful, and so real,and sureal to our everyday peers, we can never stay away for too very long. We are always drawn back, eventually, to those that know.
For the "old-timers" here, I am a friend checking in to say "HEY!"  My human mind says "Oh, how wierd that I would sign on after months of not chatting, to discover Bruce is sick!  The real me, the soul and spiritual me, is saying "Geez!  What took so long? I've been trying to get your attention for three days!!!!!!!!!!!"
For the past few days I have been thinking about Bruce, the white flame I found, the healing power of love, and was compelled to come here tonight.  I have a new friend that I think I may trust, and shared a bit of my story with that person.  I thought it was because of talking about that part of myself that piqued my curiouslity as to what you all have been bantering about these days. 
I had been thinking about my spiritual story and journey, that Bruce was absolutely instrumental in orchestrating!  Bruce BELIEVED IN ME!  At first, despite himself!  He gave me a great gift.  The gift of PUL.  The gift of holding my hand and gently leading me to myself, in a time in my life when everything around me was crashing and burning.  There are not a lot of people you'll meet face to face in this life that actually understand a person like me.  He encouraged my virgin flight into my soul.  I was terrified when it happend.  The dam of tears finally broke, it was smashed by the weight of repression gone salvation.  He hugged me when my belief systems crashed all around me.  He picks up the phone if I call.  He CARES.  He LOVES. What's ironic, if that's the right word, is that while my world was crashing and burning, and I was desperately searching for answers.......I found none outside myself.  I found a little white flame burning inside of me like the pilot light of a furnace, a healing flame that cannot be corrupted or abused like money or power.  Most importantly, it cannot be EXTINGUISHED! That is the beautiful part of it!  It is IRREPRESSIBLE!  It is indomniable.  It is the emergency light that goes on when all other lights go out.  It is the power of love. 
Bruce said to me one time when I was questioning my gift.  (for at that point I had tested this healing flame and had great success, which caused even MORE belief system crashes!) I had told him that ANYONE could tap into this.  I desperatley didn't want to be different!  Who would understand this from an already hard to understand woman?  He quietly disagreed and said this. "Jan, anyone can learn how to play the violin, but there are a select few, that can master a Stratavarias."
I had planned to just poke around here tonight and see what topics of conversation where being discussed, then I saw BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE in the headings!  Strange! Yet perfect! Yet another reinforcement of the power of love and connection between souls! There are NO MISTAKES. Chance is the folly of young souls.
I believe when we find souls like our own, there is a connection the human body and mind cannot control.  It is the spirit and the soul that nudge and direct where we need to be.
I might not believe in the power of my flame if it weren't for Bruce.  I owe something to him.  And now, when I haven't been at my computer for months, suddenly have the opportunity to give something back, I am humble. I am humbled by the power I know that brought me here tonight on this very specific day, at this very specific time, for this very specific purpose.  I am humbled by the power of the guides that never take thier hands and eyes off me. 
I, like a spoiled child, forget them occassionally in my daily dealings of life. 
But, I , blessed to recieve the love of so many, always come home.
I belive that the universe responds immediately to our every whim, desire, hope, need, dream and thought.  All we have to do, is be open to receive, and have the courage to act; to believe.
My old friends here will remember when I first found this flame three years ago.  They will remember my attempts at using it.  THey will remember me saying that it is not meant for me, but for you.  All I am is a vessel for it to pass through. 
Friends, old and new, I have sent out a flame of healing and love so wide and so hot and so big and so powerful and for the first time, it was COMBINED with the "clear, sparkling energy below and above" and sent it first to you who are reading this.  First to you so that the power and love and healing energy will grow.  Then I went to Bruce and tried to work on him.  I set him on fire with this love, and I'm hoping that the flame I shot to all of you, reaches it's destination; you heart....and that flame errupts and sets your whole self on fire and you point one flaming hand toward Bruce. 
I have never learned Reikki, but I have two friends, Jean and Donny, whom I will never forget, that without a word, healed me after a terrible experience.
It's all about love people.
My closing is this simple prayer:
Dear People,
Known or unknown to me today
Feel the love I have sent your way
this day
breathe it in
Let it settle in your heart
Then exhale it out
Add yourlove
as your lungs contract
send it out
and expect it back.

Dear Bruce,
Timing is much too much credit to give a frazzled single mom like me!  Love, yep, I'll take some credit for that. Bruce, when I came back here tonight and saw you answered my note, my eyes filled with tears of love and joy!
Too much has passed to waste words, too much has passed NOT to speak.
I am a powerful woman to most eyes; cocky, strong, beautiful, straight forward.......those fools see only the shell.  The outside personality of this life that pays the bills. 
Tis not who I am! Completely.
Underneath my survival cloak, is a child of God.  A piece, a fragment, of the whole; acutely aware that my Love matters. 
Forever, my friend, will my flame encircle you.  Forever, will my soul know yours in the dark. 
Thank you, most dearest friend, for seeing the Flame. Thank you for seeing ME. A little girl from upstate New York. You gave me shelter.
It has changed my life.
Bruce, may I some day have the courage you have, to stand above all, and state my faith.
Moreso than that.........may I never lose sight
of what God wants me to be.
May I always stand as a keeper of the Flame. 
May I always hear God call my name.
Bruce, all I can do, is send my gratitude out to the universe, and know it will reach your heart. 
Please pray for me back. You have mastered your own Stratavarius! Remember me.
Love and Light
Jan

: I'd been looking forward to hearing from you and your timing couldn't be better.  That you're coming into your power in such grace and style is heart warming.  The poetry of your prayer carries power beyond its words.

:   Love & Gratitude'

:   Bruce