RETRIEVAL WITHIN F23 (From F23-to-F23)


This was one of those non-regular retrievals, It didn't quite fit
the pattern according to my expectations. It might not even be a
proper retrieval.


-- Leather woman --

I was quite deep into a regular meditation session, more than half
an hour had passed.

It started out with me suddenly getting visions of a woman in some
kind of military fashion clothes. Leather jacket, leather caps,
black textile trousers, black textile gloves. And somewhere while
moving around she held a riding crop in her hand.

She seemed to be about 35 years.

I was wondering if this military-style woman was one of the
archetypal Fallen Woman, some forum member mentioned in a comment to my
Amy Winehouse retrieval? This woman was not so attractive, there was
was something less than perfect about her.

I was puzzled, regardless how much I tried so see this woman's face,
she constantly managed to turn away an keep her face so I couldn't
see it.

She sort of posed for me in an almost sexual way, standing with her
feet wide apart, arms out to her sides, moving around. Seeing her in
full figure went on and off for quite some time. I almost got tired
of keeping focus on what I could observe with my minds eye.

She didn't give the impression of being a stuck soul. I sent some
PUL, which didn't alter anything. She continued to show herself in
various standing poses.

Was she a guide?

I asked for her name and first got a name I somehow rejected, it
didn't seem right. I asked again, and got the name Eva. I requested
a confirmation and she kind of spelled it out for me:

"E-V-A"

Each letter for itself. So, ok she was Eva. Could I manage to get to
see her face now? Well, she still evaded me. This had been going on
for a very long time, perhaps 20 minutes. It seemed to be some kind
of test without end?
Why couldn't I get to see her eyes?

She slowly seemed to change her appearance to me. She become somewhat
younger, perhaps in her 25-30 years, and she also became more attractive
with a more slim and well formed body.

Suddenly I got eye contact with her during a moment when she
seemed to be in her most attractive bodily appearance.

Yuk!

Her eyes was two black, jagged holes. No eye balls were visible. Her
black eye holes were also quite "evil" or frightening to me. Her
face was unfriendly, too.

I took it as some kind of test. I had to figure out what this meant.
I had seen worse things, like my own fears manifested as werewolves
or grim monsters.

So I sent her PUL.

Her eye shifted between being two deep evil holes and two horrible
black sticks, poking out of her face where her eyes should have
been.

Somehow this was less frightening than any of my other scary experiences.
Maybe I've gotten used to it, or the helpers shielded me?

The young woman with the hole-eyes started to change appearance. She
turned into some kind of grisly looking creature.


-- The Disgusting Man --

The woman I had seen before was now gone. She had completely transformed
into a being which at its best looked like the cartoon character
The Swamp Thing.

I could not sense the presence of the leather woman anymore. Instead I
sensed that this Swamp Monster was male, some kind of human male person.

Perhaps his ugly and disgusting slime monster appearance was his view
of himself. Maybe he had died under some horrible circumstances, not
feeling too well about himself?

The disgusting monster man also changed appearance several times. At
moments he resembled wet dirty paper clogged together, at other times
he seemed to be made of rotten leaves and mold mixed with soil.
I sent this man a lot of PUL but got very little response.

I and the Disgusting man almost made some kind of dance. He tried to
avoid me, sometimes stopping and turning into a decomposed monster snake,
sometimes a hideous being with huge eyes and big pointy teeth.

I asked the disgusting monster man about his name, but got nothing in
response. I asked about any of his childhood friends and got the name
"Hans".

After some time, perhaps 20 minutes, the disgusting man seemed to give up,
he didn't fight me as much. Perhaps my PUL sending and sending feelings
of Acceptance gave some kind of result.

The disgusting man turned into some kind of slush or dirty slime which
flood the ground. It was now impossible for me to say if this was a
dead human or some kind of weird substance sliding around on the ground.

The slime or mud moved up in the air, and I put my hands and part of my
arms into the gooey stuff. It didn't hurt so it wasn't like the Black
Stuff Moen talked about.

But I wasn't sure.

Was this slime blob a person or just some unusual substance? I got the
feeling that this was a man who had lost himself, and who was unable to
find himself on his own.

I constantly sent the blob more and more PUL.

I got the impression the the ball of rubbish and dirt turned and twisted.
By some reason it didn't leave me, but at the same time it didn't
respond in any obvious way.

At the end of having worked with positive emotions and PUL, the surroundings
seemed to become brighter, lighter and an easier emotional feeling emerged.

It was at the end of this 20 minutes interaction with the disgusting
dirt. I was now about 45 minutes into the retrieval, starting with the
leather woman.

Whatever surroundings I was in, indoor or outdoor, I couldn't make out,
things had clearly brightened up.

The disgusting, rotten blob creature disappeared and a man emerged in
front of me.


-- The military man --

Whatever I had had my hands and part of my arms into, was now gone. Instead
a man in a brown uniform was standing in front of me. It was Adolf Hitler.

Oh, my...

Adolf's face was like chipped in stone, completely expressionless.

Clearly this was a man without any deeper emotions at all, and certainly
no feelings for other people. He was a person who only sought out what he
wanted for himself.

I took a long look at him. Could it really be Adolf Hitler? Adolf, the
Nazi, Hitler? Yes, it seemed so. He had a brown uniform jacket and some
brown uniform trousers in an old German military style. He also had a
black belt and a black belt strap going diagonally across his chest,
from his right shoulder to his left hip. He looked really Nazi like.

I had difficulties observing his left arm, but I think I saw an armband,
but it was difficult to for me to see if there was a full swastika on
the armband, but most likely there was. He had black, well polished
knee high leather boots.

I was in disbelief.

I had to convince myself that what I saw was really Hitler, so I tried
to move closer to get a better minds eye view of his face. He looked
rock steady, his gaze never left me.

Adolf had his fists placed on his sides, with his elbows pointing out
at his sides. A power pose.

Somehow I also realized why this man had been able to control a whole
country into madness. It was not just Millgram effects, but
his emotional state was that of a man that you didn't joke with. He
wouldn't laugh. He was dead serious and he radiated authority and a
very hard controlling attitude, without needing to express any force.

Anyone meeting this man could fall under his control.

Hitler was standing in some kind of impressive office room, with an
office desk behind him.

Realizing that the disgusting monster was Adolf Hitler, made it more
difficult for me to send him PUL. I tried, but didn't do as well compared
to when I didn't know who the man was.

He was immovable. No emotions, no expressions.

I wondered what I was expected to do. I tried to imagine myself in some
kind of silly looking Nazi uniform. That didn't work. Hitler moved his
gaze from me, in a way that I got the impression that he either didn't
see me or outright rejected my appearance.

I then imagined myself in an identical Nazi uniform as Hitler's.

He looked straight at me, swung out his arm with his flat palm facing
the floor, and with a Nazi salute he shouted:

"Sieg Heil!"

I responded with a similar Nazi salute and said: "Sieg Heil, Hitler!"

Jesus... He made me do it! He had turned me into a Nazi?!

Strangely enough we exchanged several more Nazi salutes and shout some
more Sieg Heils to each other. Hitler seemed content, he was in his
prime.

Whatever crappy emotional state he had been in, that seemed now to be
forgotten.

(For a bizarre moment I remembered the movie Contact (Jodie Foster), where
actor James Woods is asked why the aliens sent a radio message with
Hitler's installation speech, and Woods responded: "Maybe they wanted
to say Sieg Heil, we like your politics!")

Hitler suddenly was in a different room, a big conference like room.
There was a huge table in the middle of the room and on the table there
was a big map, possible of Europe. There was some other Nazi officers
in the room with uniforms identical to Hitler's. This time I didn't
notice any swastika on Hitler's left sleeve. I was standing to his left
and he was leaning over the big map, examining it with great interest.

I got the year 1941.

The Nazis around the table were fuzzy in appearance, so I felt they were
Hitler's own thought forms.

Click?

Something changed or I was out of the scene for a moment.


-- Ending --

I don't think I lost it, but there was some moment where I couldn't
sense anything special. And then I suddenly was in an enormous German
government building, making any regular castle seem small. The walls
were covered with dark brown wooden frames or tiles.

I was walking with Hitler through this enormous building, room by room.
I got the feeling that it was empty except for me and Adolf Hitler. We
walked through huge, high wooden double doors. Hitler was angry over
something and expressed his anger to me. I have no idea what he wanted
to tell me.

The scene then faded. I got some goose bump energy wave feelings, but I
still don't know what to make of it.

I tried to reach out for any helper or guide. Then I saw the leather
dressed woman again. This time I could see her eyes, they looked normal
this time. She was smiling. I got the feeling from her that, yes, Hitler
had moved within the afterlife world, but he was still in F23, but in a
different setting compared to when I started the session.



-- My thoughts --

The name Eva could be a reference to Eva Braun.

The year 1941 may be the year when Hitler was most successful as a leader.

Hitler shot himself in 1945, and history tells us that he wasn't in too
happy a state when he lost it.

I think I moved him from some kind of personal Hell in F 23 to some more
regular F 23 surrounding. Hitler seemed alone and without much emotions.

I'm a little puzzled that there was such a clear shift from his rotten
monster appearance to his brown uniform appearance. I don't think I
clicked out.

I wonder if it was Hitler at all? Perhaps it was some other Nazi?

Adolf Hitler is so well known that I would expect someone else, someone
more skilled in retrievals to have helped him already, as so many years
has passed since he died.

Could the appearance of Hitler himself be a mere image to explain to
me whom I had had helped in regards of the disgusting monster, which
I sent PUL?

Some days later I saw Hitler again for a short moment, he still wore some
kind of Nazi clothes, a light brown shirt. Maybe he also seemed a little
younger.