10/18/2010 - morning session:
Now I am out-of-body
The Buhlman seminar’s after effects… a belief system crisis.
The Ashkenazi belief system shake up. My present belief system crisis began on 10/16/2010 when that session produced a demon in the form of an Ashkenazi Rabbi:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_d4zmqSfE-J8/THG4YPeEdcI/AAAAAAAAFQw/mGui06dRV38/s1600/...Since then I have developed a welt on the right side of my head. Came out of a session soaking with sweat and a left side energy streaming effect… and now this dream which suggests I have fears I did not know I had and they are a barrier to moving forward…
The Dream:
I am in a kind of warehouse setting with a Hispanic type character who is preparing heroin. I am adamant that I will not partake… he agrees… then suddenly I am overwhelmed by him and a female addict and given a shot… I stumble into the street headed for my Mercedes… in a daze… a big black man comes out of no where and says he wants a ride… I yell, ‘…get away from me…’ I am alarmed I am in a gang neighborhood… he opens the door to the back seat… I scream, ‘… I am going to call the police…’ I run looking for a phone… I am on a street car track platform… can’t find a phone… but realize I have a cell phone… attempt to call 911... Can’t do it… numbers won’t form… in a panic… wake up…Interpretation:
In the last few sessions after the Ashkenazi signal some ominous looking beings have been trying to come through I have attempted to allow them to materialize since I know they will dissolve when they are exposed to the light of recognition but they seem elusive and fade back into the ethers as soon as they begin to appear… I think this dream represents lost of control… the heroin represents the non-physical world of stochastic event potential of which I will have to flow with and not necessarily have any control of... my underlying belief system is apparently …looking for control and predictability…
The big black man… represents my fears… they are want to ride in the back seat and be there as a threat all the time… I don’t want that… I want police protection…
This belief system crisis is a problem since I have no answer to its resolution accept to adhere to the concept that… The way out is the way through… perseverance… try to allow everything to come up… I don’t know why the dream didn’t go lucid… there were so many signals that I was dreaming… that might have helped.
S.