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My daughter's suicide (Read 5080 times)
Pat E.
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My daughter's suicide
May 24th, 2009 at 11:59pm
 
I have yet to truly start on the path of doing retrievals myself, although I hope to get there someday.  More immediately, I ask the help of those who are on that path in reaching out to my daughter, Megan Kathryn Elliott, who committed suicide on October 13, 2008.  Megan was 38, bright, creative, depressed and a heroin addict who had made some terribly bad choices.  She quite deliberately chose to end her life, leaving behind some heartbreaking writings and a heartbroken family.  But I don't think she had any sense of where she was going, just that she wanted out of this life.  I would very much like to know she truly is in a better place and not stuck in a dark and lonely place.  I would appreciate any help that anyone can offer.  Thank you.
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betson
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #1 - May 25th, 2009 at 4:37pm
 
Dear Patricia,

My condolences to you.

I'm currently in a stuck phase in my body, but here are two things you might try until you get a visitation or retrieval arranged:

Your mother-child bond is a link to Megan that is very strong.
So sometime when you are in a calm meditative mood, ask your Highest Force to clear some connections for you and Megan. They're there, we just have to learn to be still and listen. There are many ways to make contact and your own calm mind is the key.

Tell Megan she's dreaming and ask her what kind of dream she's in. If you feel anxiety, tell her to wake up and rise up, that she can do it! Or if you feel relaxation from her, ask her if she's happy and what she's doing, etc.

Truly, no other human can intercede an better than you, but if you don't feel up to it, pray or meditate or mentally communicate to the Highest Powers you can think of. Tell Them /It just what you told us, and then listen for an answer.
It might come in a form you don't expect, a magizine article that stands out, a phrase on TV , etc.
Thank your Highest Powers for their assistance.

Then if you would, please get back to us and let us know where you're at.  Hopefully by then someone will be ready and able to make contact for you.

Bets



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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
 
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betson
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #2 - May 26th, 2009 at 9:04am
 
Hello Pat,

Last night I took my own advice and started with a prayer.  If your daughter has dark hair, calls you "Mom!" rather than mother, doesn't like hospitals,  and  prefers shady woded parks to sandy beaches, then my consciousness met with her and we were met by guides, one of whom took on your appearance. They took her on a tour and then to a hospital.

That's a short version. If you tell me you think it could be Megan, I'll say more, but since I've never used that method before, I 'll wait for word from you to help confirm the results. I hope it was Megan.   Smiley

Bets
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
 
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Pat E.
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #3 - May 27th, 2009 at 12:17am
 
Bets, this could be Megan.  I hope it was.  She does call me Mom.  Her hair was naturally dark, although she had bleached it blonde in the last few months.  I can definitely say she doesn't like hospitals.  I'm not so sure about the parks vs. beaches part.  Besides me, her dad from whom I've long been divorced and her older brother Kevin, she left a cat named Luna.

Pat
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betson
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #4 - May 27th, 2009 at 12:08pm
 
Hello Pat,

Oh good!  I know those were relatively inconsequential but still they could have been wrong and they were not. I have no further need to doubt this process. Here's what happened when I started thinking about the fact that we are all One, all connected --

I prayed to Christ* that Megan (full name and date) was in a good place and asked that I get some sort of verification of that to tell you. I felt energies swirl around my head, and then total silence and deep darkness. Soon I felt a bit of a bump / connection and heard the thought "She's here," just like in a regular retrieval. (Apparently my consciousness went to get the verification I asked for, without my astral body. )

The pattern of words that started coming out of the dark wasn't quite right, I noticed--rather like verbal jabbing even though they had a nice regular rhythm. Also I thought maybe she couldn't see me since I had not gone out of body, so I generated more PUL. PUL has/is Light. That must of caught her attention because she abruptly stopped her chant. She may have been doing that chant to ward off feelings that she was alone and in the dark.

"Megan, this looks like a bad dream you're having. It's really time to wake up now and get out into some Light", I suggested. Rustle rustle, then quiet. "Megan, since you're still sort of asleep you can just rise up, just float up and follow this light. We're going outside now."

Slowly we began rising.  Since I didn't sense any Helpers around I wondered where in the afterlife we would land. There is a geography there that has been described by many, so I asked Megan where she'd prefer to go--to the shady woods or over to the beach by the Reception Center. She indicated the woods. I suggested that if she wasn't feeling well, we could also stop off at the hospital, but she immediately stiffened and objected, so I reaffirmed to the woods. I figured she'd get taken to the hospital somehow anyway because she'd had such a long way to come.

Finally I sensed two Helpers , one on either side of us, and Megan again stiffened defensively. I feared she'd break from the good energy that was raising us so I said, "Megan, look! They love you! Don't you see who that is?!" Before I'd even finished saying/thinking that to her, she called out "Mom!" and they all accelerated upward. I sent them the message that she didn't want to go to the hospital and liked the woods, so they sent back that they'd take her on a tour flying over some areas until they got her convinced to get some healing.

(Then I decided to look around myself abit before returning since I was sure she was being taken care of.  This all seems about like 20 minutes but it was 3 1/2 hours later  when I looked at the clock. Since I couldn't see,  when I got back I asked "If" I had seen Megan what would she look like? I got an image thay may have been her ideal state. She looked very well, slender, lovely, dark-haired.)

Smiley Dear Pat, you don't have to worry about Megan !

Someone here once said they'd learned how long typically a hospital stay is that heroin users need.  We call that level of the afterlife Focus Level 21-23. I expect that when she gets her mind cleared she'll be contacting you  (Maybe this fall?)  Try not to be startled and see if you can mentally have a conversation with her. From the tone of her voice when she said "Mom!"  she loves you alot !

Bets

* Christ and Jesus Christ have different meanings. I'm not sure which this was/Is, and how they're connected other than we're all connected.


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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
 
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Pat E.
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #5 - May 28th, 2009 at 1:10am
 
Bets-

I am so grateful to you for what you have done for me and, more importantly, for Megan.  It did all seem to fit, so I have great faith it was her.

I had taken your advice and the last few nights before sleep tried to relax, pray (Buddhist style, I guess) and ask to be connected to Megan.  After long work days, I fell asleep before any real answer or contact came through.

However, I have had and remembered more vivid dreams about Megan the last few nights than ever.  Night before last (Monday night), I dreamed a friend and I were helping Megan and a friend move from one house to another.  She wasn't especially engaged or interested in the moving process, which I thought strange since I assumed we were doing it because she had asked.  But we persisted in getting the two of them moved.  The possible meaning of that didn't occur to me until after I read your message.

I have ordered and will be working with some TMI CDs to help me be open to communicating with Megan when she is ready.  Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Pat
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Pat E.
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #6 - May 31st, 2009 at 6:43pm
 
Bets has encouraged me to share with the group some of what she and I have shared by PM after my last post.

I have been a member of a Buddhist sangha for over seven years, although Megan was not.  After she died, I had a difficult time reaching out to the members of the sangha, just the opposite of the reaction I should have had.  There as elsewhere the hardest thing was just telling people about her death.  With the help of a kind friend, the message of her death did get to those in the sangha I am most connected with.  My meditation instructor then worked with me to hold a 49-Day ceremony for Megan on December 1.  This is a Buddhist ceremony intended to help release the dead person from this life and help them through the passage to whatever comes next, as well as help those still in this life.  It involves group chants, in this case by about 20 sangha members and a few friends of mine not members of the sangha.  The first chant was to the protectors, asking them to help Megan in her passage through the bardo after death to her next life.  The imagery in this chant is so fierce and graphic that I was in tears during the first of three readings of it, each one repeating Megan's full name a number of times.  At the end of the ceremony, a picture of Megan was burned on the altar to symbolize her release from this life.  More tears for me.

Bets is of the view that Megan heard these chants and was doing her own chanting as a result when Bets found her.  Bets did not know of the ceremony and chants I have described before she retrieved Megan.  Perhaps one day I will find out more from Megan about this.

At our sangha, we now have a weekly book class in which we read from and discuss in a free-flowing manner a wonderful book, called "Mind Beyond Death" by Dzogchen Ponlop, a Tibetan Buddhist teacher and gifted writer.  This book is about the six classic bardos or intervals in Tibetan Buddhist belief:  the natural bardo of this life between birth and death, the bardo of dreams, the bardo of meditation, the bardo of dying, the bardo of the time after death and the bardo of becoming or moving on to the next life.  

I continue to be amazed by the many parallels of what I am learning from Bruce Moen's books and this website, on one hand, and the book class and this book, on the other.  In the first class meeting, our instructor discussed Robert Monroe's and Bruce Moen's books and experiences and this website.  Later he especially commended Bruce's books and this website to me because of my continuing efforts to deal with Megan's death.  I can't thank him enough for doing so and for being inspired to have this class just when I so needed it.  Thanks, Marshall.

Pat
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betson
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Re: My daughter's suicide
Reply #7 - Jun 1st, 2009 at 5:31pm
 
Many thanks, Pat
(and Marshall  Smiley )  !

We are all learning as we build our understanding, and you have given us more connections that make our understanding stronger !

May your own explorations continue to enrich your understanding.  I hope to hear from you about your further experiences   Smiley

Bets
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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
 
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