That's a common thing, my explanation is, everytime you're dreaming and you notice there is something odd, you compare the dream with physical reality, then you focus too much on the physical, like "wait... that must be a dream, and I'm laying on my bed" and zap! this focus on the physical brings you right back there.
It's one of the key arts to master lucid dreaming, OBE and the like to remain focused on that reality you want to be in; it's not necessary to be 100% focused, but to stay calm and let the thoughts of the other place not take over, instead leave them "in the back of your head".

Spooky

Hi Channy,
quote: "WHILE THE DREAM IS IN PROGRESS  I happen to become aware of a relative in the dream who has passed on – the whole dream disintegrates in a flash."
I'd say this is something like an inner censor; when you see a person still living physically, the censor says "Allright, that's possible". When you see a person, which has physically died, the censor says "No, this person is dead, it's impossible to see this person" and your perception of this reality is closed down.
  That's how a belief system works. The tricky part is, this perception censorship is working subconsciously. That you were able to see and remember this kinds of dreams could be a sign that there are conflicting beliefs within you; one holds it for impossible to meet physically dead relatives, and the other belief holds it for possible, so that you experience both, the "forbidden" perception (for a brief moment) and the shutdown of this perception.

Yes, I sometimes too have a sort of "relative conferences" in dreams, which I usually remember only some bits of; no hints of death cases in my dreams, though. But my mother reported, as a child she had foreseen the death of relatives in dreams.

Spooky

channy aka cbuk wrote on Jul 14^th, 2008 at 10:01am:


just sharing something similar to your dream, with the difference that instead of the dream just disappearing, it simply changed scenes, with a slight blinking off of it, then blink back on to scene two.

it has something to do with the message having been received and that was the objective.

was riding along with my departed husband, Mike. I'm in a daze and I stare over at him, he's driving the car. I realize without him saying it, that he's dead, I mean on this other side of life.

I then think that I too must be dead, or I wouldn't be with him. I think that he has come to help show me around over there.
I then burst in full blown crying jag and say to him "and I was just starting to have so much FUN!"

he is not comfortable when I cry, so he says nothing but feels the pain I feel.
____
so the message was to start enjoying life, as you just never know when we will be taken out.
(although I try!)  I assumed since the message was received, then the change in scenery happened.

Mike goes into a convenience store, where we had stopped for a minute to get something. I wait in the car. While I'm waiting in the car I get interested in getting out and exploring around..Mike came out of the store but I not going to go for a ride with him at that point.
____

first I thought when I woke up, oh oh, I'm toast. then as I thought about it, it changed my attitude..made me work harder on my thought system and attitude, search more deeply..that kind of stuff.
____

as for your question, why does the dream just disappear, everyone I've talked to regarding making contact with loved ones on the other side say basically the same thing, the conversations are often short and to the point, but our ability to bring back the entire conversation seems to be limited to short messages, maybe the look on their face is remembered best, or the intense emotion is easy to remember.
the emotion itself seems to contain a lot of logical beliefs we may hold, like a software program that needs updating.