B-dawg
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Missoula, Montana
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[quote author=dave_a_mbs link=1203153713/0#8 date=1203369932]Hi B-Man-
I'm basically very self-serving. The process of carrying hatred means that I would have to adjust my internals so as to delete a general feeling of goodwill and a bearable lifestyle, and in its place UI'd have to put a contingency, that life is OK if and only if the world has kept some SOB away from me, or permanently deleted him.
For someone to make me alter my naturally comfortable state once is a nuisance. The severity of the nuisance depends on just what they did to me. That seems bad enough. However, once done, it's difficult to do more than basic damage control.
For someone then to make me periodically drag out that event and look at it in order to maintain a level of rage and resentment is an additional insult. However, I can get rid of the whole mess by "forgiveness". In this sense, forgiving does not mean that it was OK, that they can do it again, nor that I in any way am interested in havinf them in my world. It means only that I have better things to do with my life than holding a brick and awaiting a chance to whack them.
Conversely, so long as I am busy resenting and hating, I am using up energy that would far better be employed in having fun. By that kind of attitude, I'm letting them spoil more of my life, both now and into the future. Carrying a load of negativity thus keeps the unplessant event in present time.
In this specific sense, forgiveness is a self serving thing, and is the only way to get the event out of present time and to allow it to go into the past.
And this is also true if the bad guy happens to have absorbed a couple 7.62x25 Mag-Safe - except that in that case it is myself that I must forgive. After all, sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you. (I'm more inclined to be bothered if I miss.)
So forgiveness is a weapon against evil. It is counter-intuitive, but it works. I generally use forgiveness as a clinical tool by which to restore a woman's sexuality after she has had 20 years to brood over being raped by Daddy at 10 years of age, or the equivalent.
The next line to that lesson is to be practical - If a dog bites you, and if you can't have it put down or locked up, then there's no reason to put your hand back in its mouth.
dave ***************** Of course, my specific example had me as having been MURDERED and therefore dead (and presumably condemned to being a non-corporeal cloud of gas in the "spirit world" - still aware, but having had everything taken from me by the perp. What "fun" would there be for me there? To float around and look at things, reminiscing maybe... But not be able to DO anything? What would there be for me, but to await the arrival of my enemy... And plot against his happiness, so at least I'd have the knowledge that he wasn't ENTIRELY my lord and master?
B-man
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