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Hell determined academically (Read 1605 times)
betson
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Hell determined academically
Dec 10th, 2007 at 9:51am
 

Cheesy

    HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
     
    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term.
     
    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :
     

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
     
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
     
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into  Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely  assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,
no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today.
     
    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
     
    This gives two possibilities:
     
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
     
    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
     
    So which is it?
     
    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my G...."
     
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Shakespeare
 
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Alan McDougall
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Re: Hell determined academically
Reply #1 - Dec 12th, 2007 at 4:06am
 
Of course then the same arguement and statistics must apply to what people call heaven.

Regards

Alan Tongue
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Blessings and Light

Alan McDougall
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Nanner
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Re: Hell determined academically
Reply #2 - Dec 12th, 2007 at 5:52pm
 
LMAO
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