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Deceased fiancee appears angry at 1st (Read 2704 times)
Chrisbaby9305
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Deceased fiancee appears angry at 1st
Mar 15th, 2007 at 9:25am
 
Hi,

This is my first entry, so please bear with me.  

I am with a bunch of people that, in reality I do know and we are all talking and having fun.  Then I see my fiancee walk by!  I yell out to him (Chris) and he keeps walking.  I run after him and I am very frusterated that he isn't listening to me.  By this time, the scene is only the 2 of us and the landscape is barren--no trees, just all sand and what looks like a large rock, or maybe a large pile of sand--I start begging him to stop.  He stops and says in a very mean tone of voice something like, "What, Baby?  I don't have time to listen to this right now"!  He continues to walk away.  I plead with him, "Baby, wait!  You don't understand!  You are dead, and I can't talk to you anymore!  Oh my God, I can't believe you are right here!  Please don't go!"  (I am fully aware in my dream that the reality is that he is dead).  I start to cry, partly because I am so happy to see him and partly because he is being so mean to me.  He doesn't believe me when I tell him he's dead and he gets angry with me.  He throws a heavy glass ashtray at me (it's an ashtray from our garage where he spent most of his time when he was alive) like a frisbee behind his back, and just when it hits me in the forehead, I wake up.  After I wake, I am very excited and so overcome with sadness at the same time.  I sob uncontrollably for hours, and I am not one to cry--maybe a tear or 2 here and there.  I can't stop.

Maybe I should give a little insight to the whole situation.  We were together for almost 6 years--he was the love of my life and unfortunately fell into drugs (meth) and everything and everyone that goes with it.  We were fighting the last year of his life because of his actions.  He was not the man I fell in love with anymore.  He was shot by a drug dealer, in front of the drug dealer's house on Labor Day weekend of 2005, and from what I understand, died instantly.  He was 35.  He left me with our nearly 6 month old baby girl and my 17 year old son from a previous marriage.  We were devastated by his death, but I must say that my belief system has changed drastically since his death.  I was told (by Chris--who had read the Bible cover to cover 6 times, as he had several 1-3 year prison sentences and had the need to find the "Truth" about God) that when we die, we go into the ground and we know nothing until the Resurrection.  About 6 months ago, my 1 1/2 year old daughter came running into my room with a picture of Chris and she was excitedly yelling, "Daddy!  Daddy!"  She had not known a picture of Chris before that, as it was too difficult for me to look at them.  She just knew!  There have been many other instances of little 'things' that had to be him!  Since his death, I have started to record my dreams of him so that I don't forget.  I will post those later, but I want to know why he is so angry and hateful towards me in this dream.  This was the first one I had of him, and it happened about 10 months after his death.  I had a friend tell me that Chris contacted him by cell phone in his dream, and that was only a couple of months after his death.  Any insight to this dream would be appreciated.  Thank you!
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« Last Edit: Mar 16th, 2007 at 3:56am by Chrisbaby9305 »  
 
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Kate
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Re: Deceased fiancee appears angry at 1st
Reply #1 - Mar 15th, 2007 at 11:26am
 
Oh gosh, I'm so sorry about the death of your fiancee.   Cry  That's heartbreaking.

How are YOU doing?  Being a single Mom isn't easy.  I was one for 10 years until I married in 2005 and now I have a 7 month old son.  Their pictures are in my siggy.  I salute you because you deserve much respect and recognition.  I hope you have a strong support system.  That's what got me through it.

I'm not a wonderful interpriter of dreams but I'll tell you what jumped out at me.  Number one, you had a lucid dream.  This means you were totally aware that you were dreaming as the dream commenced.  This is VERY significant.  I think he's definately reaching out to you and to friends, like the friend who said he contacted him by phone and email.  He's missing all of you terribly.  You daughter obviously knows who he is if she ran to you saying him name while holding his picture.

It does sound like he's lost out there.  His anger toward you and the flinging of the ashtray indicates that he's plenty frustrated and wants someone's attention because he's not sure where to go or what to do.  And the fact that this confrontation took place in a sandy desert...   a lonely, barren place..  this stands out to me too.

He answered you by the tetrm of endearment, "Baby" when you called out to him and I feel like he loves you unconditionally but again, he's having trouble out there.

Maybe someone could try to retrieve him for you?  It sounds like he's reaching out but he can only do so much because of the 'place' he's trapped in.  He needs someone to tell him that he's going to be okay and that all the answers are within his grasp. But that he has to be willing to trust someone he doesn't know that wants to help him.  This may go against everything he was used to since you mentioned he was an addict.  

If the interest is there and he's trying to get attention I really feel he can be helped.  Talk to him like he is still here because he can see you and is with you all the time.  Offer your love and support anytime you think about it.  Sending postive and reassuring thoughts to him WILL help.

Well, that's all I can think of.  I really am so sorry about what happened.  Stay strong.

Katie
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Vicky
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Re: Deceased fiancee appears angry at 1st
Reply #2 - Mar 16th, 2007 at 10:50am
 
Hi there, and welcome to the board.  I'm sorry you had to lose him, especially like that.  But in answer to your question, why was he so angry and hateful in your dream...

It is my guess that this is how he feels about his own life circumstances and death.  This is his current situation.  In your dream experience, he wasn't blaming you for what happened, but he is obviously still struggling with his own situation.  You did fine in trying to get his attention and communicate with him.  But just like in life, if you saw him in an angry mood, where he wasn't listening to you and just wanted to blow off steam, pout, be angry, or whatever, well...what can you do?  Sometimes you just have to let that person be angry.  It will be up to him how long he decides to be like that.  Sometimes it's just necessary for a person to sort things out in their own way and in their own time.  The best thing that you can do is to continue to use your love to get through to him, to get his attention.  In time when he is ready he will listen to you. 

Remember, whether it is in life or the afterlife, when someone is full of anger (fear) they are unknowingly blocking their perception of love.  They are "stuck" in that ugly lonely place they have allowed themselves to be in. 

Have you read Bruce's books or any of the links at the top of this website to know about retrievals?  You could try to make contact with him to get more insight of where he is and what he's doing.  From your dream, it sure sounds like he is stuck and could use your help. 

Love,
Vicky
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Author of Persephone's Journey (Amazon.com)

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Chrisbaby9305
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Re: Deceased fiancee appears angry at 1st
Reply #3 - Mar 16th, 2007 at 8:23pm
 
Hi Katie,

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and answer my post.  Thank you also for your kind words.  I want to help Chris if he is lost out there.  I will tell you that in 2 or 3 of my more recent dreams of him, the song, "I'm a Thousand Miles From Nowhere" (Elvis, Dwight Yokum) plays repeatedly throughout the dream, and just these verses: 

I'm a thousand miles from nowhere,
Time don't matter to me,
'Cause I'm a thousand miles from nowhere,
And there's no place I wanna be

It played over and over and over --never stopping!  It even stuck in my head for a week after the dream!  That is what made me ponder the question about him being alone, lost, and scared.  What if we die, and we are alone (wherever we are) and we don't know where we are (will we know how we got there?) and we don't know where to go?  Everything is foreign--scary!  How would you know what to do?  His mother was killed (passenger of a drunk driver) when he was only 8.  Would she be there to help him, or does it not work that way?  It just breaks my heart that he might be lost, and I'm sure he is scared!

Anyway, thank you very much for your time and your help.  I just want him to be ok.  He was a great person, he just had the disease of addiction.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
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Chrisbaby9305
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Re: Deceased fiancee appears angry at 1st
Reply #4 - Mar 16th, 2007 at 8:36pm
 
Hi Vicky,

Thank you so much for your answer.  I appreciate it very much.  

I only wish I knew more about this stuff.  I just very, very recently started giving in to the fact that there might be life after death.  I didn't think that there was life after death until we were all Resurrected.  Since Chris has died, I feel differently.  We were very close (when he wasn't so far gone on Meth), and there have been several things that have led me to believe he is around me a lot of the time--not just while I'm dreaming.

Unfortunately, I have not read any of Bruce's books, or about Retrievals.  I will read about the Retrievals right now.  I did read some of the stuff, like people in the Afterlife coming to hlp him get to where he is going, but I guess I just assumed his mom would help him (She died when he was 8).  I have so many questions, as this all facinates me!  I will be posting some more of my dreams, and I hope to hear from you again.  PLEASE, if you ever think of anything you'd like to tell me, feel free to do so.  Anything you can do to help is of great importance to me.  Chris was my future, and now that he's gone, I have a huge hollow void instead.  I want to help him in any way I can.

Thank you!
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