Dear Alysia,

You're book continues to be my main source of perspective as I sit with it propted up in front of me while having my coffee.

Spent the last 3 days digesting, "To clarify the seeker, finder, and the observer I found..." (Roadsigns
pg. 101).  So much to ponder on and so much comfort during a difficult period.  I enjoy imagining the possibility that my future self (FS) is out there just waiting to be integrated into my PS.

Keep up the good work of giving feedback to us posters.

So glad that you, Spooky, Dave, Vickie, etc. are all there when I need the other world perspective in my life.

Helps unbelievably, Jean

Alysia,

I just picked up your response today & realize that I seem to be missing time some. But no matter. It’s funny you should write that the seeker, the finder, & the observer came during a dream at a difficult time with you mom.  I was reading this chapter about the same time that I had a dream as a result of requesting help with my most difficult relationship, that of son #1’s wife and I.  It’s really bad and it was rather obvious at my youngest son’s wedding in April. Anyhow, I keep asking for help as to some clue on how to proceed and get to the forgiving part, my son just says take it in baby steps, whatever that means??? So here I am thinking about what my FS would be like and enjoying the fact that she’s out there somewhere having a handle on how to deal with this type of petty conflicts when I have this dream.

It opens with my son’s family coming to visit Mac and I in a place by the water. Don’t forget we live in Tucson now. I’m so glad to see my son and granddaughters but don’t really notice my daughter-in-law.  I follow them into the next room as they get settled.  I’m talking with my son & my daughter-in-law states, “see, she just ignores me”.  I turn to her very rudely and reply, “That’s cause you’re a $#itch”.  (I’m remembering hurtful statements, perceived by me, made in the past.) She responds by saying,” No you’re a %$itch.” We go back and forth a half a dozen times before I do the final thrust, “And your mother’s a @#$itch too”. (Again remembering hurtful, perceived by me, statement said in the past). I think, now I’ve done it but at least my daughter-in-laws admitting to at least some negativity towards me. Up till then, it’s been as if I’m the only one with the problem neglecting the possibility that it takes two to tango. So as predicted, they have the intention of all leaving and I feel resigned to their decision.

But then something really strange happens. Everything’s silent and as I’m turning to leave the room, I get the warmest most loving hug in the world. I still tingle everytime I recall it; tears come to eyes, and my heart melts a little more. She, my daughter-in-law, is there doing the wonderful hugging and I’m responding by welcoming this wonderful hug. Talk about PUL and it all took place on the other level. 

I don’t doubt that the physical will eventually catch up as the groundwork has been laid H.S. to H.S.

Meanwhile, Tucson’s all in turmoil due to multiple roadwork. The construction at my job kicked up my Valley fever and is causing all kinds of other problems for all of us, clients and employees alike. The job seems to be getting worse as the standards are increased for funding and the C. M.’s are dropping like flies. I feel as if I’m on a hold pattern and just try to get through the day so I can go home and sleep for the next day.

Love, Jean

Like your new pic. too

    

Love it Dear,

Take care-have a nice week.

Jean