It's been a wonderful learning experience here on the conversation boards for me...I am very excited about finding my way here, as it covers all topics of interest, extreme interest to me...that until now I only had my own thoughts, and books(as much as I love them) for company on this journey of mine...
I have been fascinated by dreams, and their meanings for a long time now, as well, and have found rich experiences in them..from a young age, I would have dreams, usually of things rather insignificant, that would come to life, exactly,and I mean exactly as I dreamt them..so much so that when in waking life, I would recognize right away, "hey, I just dreamt of this last night", and everything would be word for word, and all environmental conditions exactly as was in my dream...and I could tell you what would happen next, but I didn't understand(I still don't with these dreams) why on earth they were happening,as they didn't seem to have(the happenings, or scenes) any real importance to them,kind of random...and then the out of body experiences, that I still have rather regularly,though I am still not great at always controlling the experience,sometimes spending alot of time in my own home,roughly jerking back into body, and back out...and other times I am able to venture further along and have more "fun"with those...(and have been able to validate some of these)..and then of course the dreams packed with symbolism, or day residue...and then,lately my favorite, b/c of wanting to be near my recently passed love, the dreams that don't even seem like dreams at all,of speaking with and interacting with the "deceased".....all of them have a different quality to them,though the out of body ones and dreams of deceased seem to be similar in quality and/or substance....still feel a lack of proper terminology for some things, but trying
Recently I have been dreaming, when I do sleep at all, very vividly, and wishing that I could recall all of it...though I wonder if sometimes we might not be meant to recall all things we've seen??
The very first dream I had of Sandy happened the night after the day he died...and I was in a kind of "city" I guess you could say, that I don't recognize as any I've been to in waking life....but very clean and bright...and I was at the bottom of a large structure...I cannot really describe it,except that it resembled a very very large,concrete,(perhaps, though I've worked as a mason tender, and the material wasn't quite that, but closest way to describe) pyramid shaped structure, also very high up,so high, I couldn't see the top of it, and I was at first at the bottom of one side of the pyramid,but the structure was so immense,that I didn't even immediately recognize it to be pyramid shaped, until I started climbing it,and getting higher up...and though I didn't see the top of it, I felt like at the top were something like airplanes...like planes coming and going,taking off and landing,and I felt very much like I was trying to hurry to catch a "plane"..and then I noticed there were people all around me,also making their way up,all minding their own business,and I noticed there was something like a flat conveyer belt a few feet over from where I was walking up something like stairs...though it was the same color and material as the structure itself...and alot wider than a belt,maybe 6 feet wide, and it was like an escalator, you could hitch a ride up on it, if you wished, and I was in a hurry...so I stepped on, and was startled(not scared though)at how fast it was moving...and then I noticed a figure walking beside me, and I felt Sandy's energy,yet, he was in a white, thick cotton-like robe, with a hood covering his head,and I got off the belt like thing, and was trying to turn and face him...I was then not wanting to be moving along so fast, not even walking, and so many others around,I wanted to have time,to speak to him, ...and then suddenly we were not in this city anymore, but country, and climbing up a large hill,and I felt at the top of this,was a playgroud of some sort I really wanted to see, and now there were concrete stairs, but zig zagging up the grassy hill, and with small landings and a railing to hold on the sides if needed. These stairs were the width of one or two people at most to be side by side, and Sandy was now a couple steps in front of me, and I was throwing questions, feelings,wanting to hug him...look at him,and he paused on a landing, and was speaking to me telepathically...it was the last landing before reaching the top,though I didn't bother to look up there, but my focus was on Sandy..still in this robe,but I knew it was him...and he was saying something to the effect of "It's alright Tanja...always speeding here and there still..." and I was saying or thinking at him, "But Sandy,I want to reach the top of this thing with you, I want to come with you and rest in the playground(not sure if it was a literal playground, but lack of descriptive words again)everythings too fast...don't leave me" and he was very comforting with his words,though they were thoughts,and said something to the effect of "It's ok Tanja, you will reach the top of this thing...but it's ok to slow down a bit,and take this way up instead of charging up(other structure) sometimes...take the time to catch your breath on the landings here,enjoy the country around you(he was brought up in the city,me being the country mouse, lol),and take it one small step at a time if you have to right now, it's all alright" I was feeling a bit panicky, not wanting him to leave,as I felt like I was soon leaving this place(waking up)..and asking "When can I see you again....please...are you going to wait for me at the top?? I know your going to get there before me...."...and the dream faded and I woke up....though I didn't want to wake up, I still felt comforted b/c he seemed so...relaxed for him..and I did feel like he would "wait"......
Since then I've had a few other dreams,but he is now in body, his body,naked,actually, though the dreams aren't sexual(though have had interesting meditation times where I've felt him getting my attention very physically and mentally)and in a room,alone,and he looks(like my grandmom, and anyone else eventually appears to me that have passed, to be in their 20's..he was only 54 when he died, though when he was in his 20's,I was just being concieved of,lol) younger, but certainly it's him...and we merge energies,and I want to stay in those dreams as long as possible, b/c it's usually at the end of my dream that I find him in this room, after searching through this large very old house, but in immaculate condition, going through people, and rooms...finally finding him....I hope I continue to dream of him, b/c it brings me incredible comfort, b/c I miss him so much...