Dear scoobydoo,
You are grieving and my heart goes out to you. Many condolences for your tragic loss.
You supported him, were a strength to him. You didn't help him die, so don't feel guilt for something you didn't do. A chemical imbalance put him out of touch with his stronger will.

You can do several things to honor him and maybe get in touch with him. We will help you too. One thing is to take care of yourself and your son; grow through love, as you will need each other now more than ever. You need to stay healthy so you will be strong enough to hear him when he attempts to contact you from the other side.

When anyone dies the first steps are the same; they are helped into the afterlife by helpers on the other side. Then there is a period of adjusting to being on the other side. Soon he may attempt to get in touch with you when your mind is calm, like when you're sleeping or not caught up in the busyness of life.

In the meantime please read around on this site about other people who are dealing with similiar losses. When you feel like it try reading the essays at the top by this site's host Bruce Moen to see how he has discovered the afterlife and how to visit it. Then let us know whether you want someone here to attempt to make contact  or if you waant to learn to find him yourself.--Or maybe by them he'll have contacted you! Please allow yourself some time to get through this difficult time.
Love, bets

Hello again scoobydoo,
Since I'm here again, I'll respond to your recent questions but there'll be more input later from others whose points of view can explain more fully.
Since you saw him 'through a window', it seems he was not able to see you and you were just given a glimpse just so you know he's safe. His own shock and emotional tumult that led to his death is still being eased. His state of mind is typical and is the reason that 'retrievals' are sometimes necessary and not always easy. Please give him and yourself time. Yes, I think he wanted to tell you so you wouldn't hear about it from strangers.
It's wonderful you were given the gift of seeing him; some people do not know for months etc how their loved one is doing.
Well, hopefully in your future practice of psychology, they won't start you off with suicide survivors, but when you do offer that professionally, you will have alot more experiences to share.

You can emanate/ send your love to him and we hear they feel it and appreciate it greatly. We call it PUL--pure unconditional love. Try to clear yourself of any anxieties, relax, and just remember the good times. Feedback is not immediate.
You're also fortunate that your son is at an age where he can share his contacts freely with you. I'm sure you're gently encouraging him. Your love is appreciated far beyond your direct contacts.
PUL
bets

Hi Scoobydoo
he hated to see you cry. That is a so very common male way of behaviour. He couldn't bear to see you cry, he couldn't stand it and therefore he developed defense methods. The ultimate defense is to leave physical life. It is a story telling how vulnerable and weak men can be- and how small the possibilities are which they see for themselves to get out of their struggle between toughness that they are supposed to show and helplessness to work on problems in relationships. Only a few hours ago, I've heard a story (a call-in of a radio station) of someone whose best friend has killed himself shortly after he divorced from his girlfriend. And, I'm male too and have experienced situations of this ultimately "now I quit, bye, I've had it"-attitude, but I managed it somehow to get enough distance between my strong emotions and me.

Now, the one who is important to talk about is you- that's why I talked about some men's attitudes above. What you told is for sure heavy and a worst case scenario of manipulating someones' emotions. But when you think it over- you two have shared a very strong feeling. Maybe you even became aware as twice as much of your feelings about him through what has happened. Now, would the consequence be to do the same like he did, say good-bye to the physical world? Or would it be more likely that you get a knowing of something you have not known before, something such deep you had not expected to exist here? Maybe you have made an experience which consequences, your thoughts, considerations, are worth to share and spread, to grow and give it to your child? How about that, that one who went through a deep emotional impact, and overcame it, can be a wise one to lead a child to it's own life?

You said the most important things: You forgave him, you love him. This is giving him the best support which is possible. You think he is a good guy basically? And his going away is just a sort of accidental weakness? You love him? Then there's no big difficulties from your side to make him not progress. If he is able to focus on you, he is able to perceive your forgiveness.

Therefore, it is such important that you stay. Listen to yourself. Does he want you to leave too? Just ask yourself this, and see what's coming to your mind. And ask yourself what YOU want. Do this more than once, take your time. You have time. Every day. Every day is a new day to ask if you really can't stand it anymore or if you can make it, and look what the next day is offering to you. We all will leave the physical one day anyway, so try to get what you can out of it and not choose the "no no I quit" way too quickly. Over there, there is no aging like here. You'll meet him soon enough.

As many have reported, you can get messages from him through dreams, or even when wide awake in short "daydreams", if you allow yourself to accept it as reality. You have made a start in this. You can try to become more active when you see him in dreams or daydreams. It sounds silly, but I know it's true, one must remind oneself to simply speak to another in dreams or similar states.

Spooky