Hi everyone my name is Charlie
It seems my fate has led me to here at this point in my troubled life.
I sat at a train platform 48hours ago smoking a joint and plucking up the courage to jump in front of the 23:50 as I ponder over my soon certain death, a strong gust of wind blows and my half smoked joint falls out of my hand and rolls down a drain. I think, "is someone or something trying to stop me?" and feel an overpowering forse plant me to the floor. I sit still for the next 30mins in a froozen state with not one thought passing through my mind and like a robot I'm sitting at home 45minutes later and snap out of my daze. Could this daze just of been a state of the "joint" or something greater? I've spent a good 3hours reading through various posts on this site tonight and it really got me thinking about all the great possibilities and has filled my heart with joy which is vary rare in my life. I've had a very troubled life with neglect and lack of love which leaves me in this constant state of pain, hurt and suicidle frame of mind. I dont ask for forgivness or sympathy just understanding that I want to be guided into a new light. I seek great interest in all I have seen here and want to be welcomed by all and learn all the spiritual ways of myself and make contact with area 27. I want to find out why I'm suffering a bad pshyical life and what to make of my crazy dreams. I want to be led away from the dark and learn my lessons so I can be at peace when I arrive in my afterlife.

I have one spooky story to chuck in with my welcome post which has probably noted me as a "screwball"   I was 14years old and staying round my friends house in the spare bedroom and as I got into bed that night I felt very very uneasy but thought nothing of it. I drifted off and felt very relaxed just drifting into my sleep and then I was dreaming and it felt as if I was lost. I was wondering around looking for something or someone then a deep voice called my name, I started running and I could feel it getting closer and closer and I panic and fall over. I then feel slighty awake and feel I'm out of my dream but still feel that voice is near, I barely open my eyes and see this tall dark figure in the corner of the room looking down at me. It didnt have a face but I could feel it was watching me, I close my eyes from there barely open state and my whole body feels like its buzzing and I still feel that presence around and looking at me real strong. I shudderd to open my eyes and remember being in this frighten state for about 30mins with this thing overlooking me and then I must of fallen asleep. Looking back now I wish I tried to speak to whatever that thing was that night with my mind or maybe it was something trying to communicate, it could of all been a dream I'll never know. Thanks to those who botherd to read my post back to researching the site.