Conversation Board - In case you are attacked by an anaconda

SunriseChaos

Junior Member

Offline

DARK IS THE NIGHT FOR
ALL.

Posts: 99
Gender: female

In case you are attacked by an anaconda
May 6^th, 2006 at 9:30pm

Quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following is purportedly from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda, which it claims "is the largest snake in the world, a relative of the boa constrictor that grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs between three and four hundred pounds."

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another.

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet and - always from that end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic.

7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg. then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hopefully you won't find yourself lying on the floor panicking that you left your sharp knife in your hotel room as the snake starts to swallow you head first..... Grin

LOL , are they serious?

Peace.

S.C.

Back to top

I LOST MY HEART. I BURIED IT TOO DEEP UNDER THE IRON SEA. - KEANE&&------------------------------------------------------------&&LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS - JOHN LENNON

IP Logged

Touching Souls Super Member Offline LOVE IS ALL, SHINE YOUR LIGHT THAT OTHERS MAY SEE Posts: 1966 Metaline Falls, WA Gender:	Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda Reply #1 - May 6^th, 2006 at 9:46pm OMG..................well, I'm never going to be put in a situation where I will find out. LOL Love, Marilyn
Back to top	I AM THAT I AM -- WE ARE ALL ONE -- TOUCHING SOULS IP Logged

spooky2 Super Member Offline Afterlife Knowledge Member Posts: 2368	Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda Reply #2 - May 8^th, 2006 at 7:47pm Ha ha, well now, where's the recipe?
Back to top	"I'm going where the pavement turns to sand"&&Neil Young, "Thrasher" IP Logged

Rob_Roy

Super Member

Offline

Posts: 539
New Hampshire, USA
Gender: male

Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda
Reply #3 - May 14^th, 2006 at 1:43pm

What you should really do: A New Age Guide to Anaconda Hunting.

A) Don't join the Peace Corps. Join the United States Marine Corps.

B) Learn to shoot well in the Corps. A Marine and his rifle are a weapon of mass destruction.

C) Carry a rifle (make sure it's loaded, stupid), sea salt, a FILM camera, and a pendulum.

D) Project PUL to the snake. If that doesn't work, use your pendulum to ask your guides if it's ok to shoot the snake, if you have time. If guidance says "no", assume they're joking and proceed as follows:

1) Do NOT panic. Aim carefully.

2) Squeeze a round into the snake's head. Do not miss.

3) Kick snake's head to make sure it's dead.

4) Gut snake to search for members of Peace Corps.

5) Celebrate slaying the dragon. Use rifle to measure snake; take photos.

6) Start a fire. Cook and eat snake. Use lots of salt. Tastes like chicken. Make sure you thank the snake for donating itself for your substenance.

7) Keep the head for a trophy and bragging rights.

I'm soooooo crass!

Rob

Back to top

« Last Edit: May 14^th, 2006 at 3:42pm by Rob_Roy »

IP Logged

Touching Souls Super Member Offline LOVE IS ALL, SHINE YOUR LIGHT THAT OTHERS MAY SEE Posts: 1966 Metaline Falls, WA Gender:	Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda Reply #4 - May 14^th, 2006 at 1:50pm ROFLMAO Thanks Rob. Will remember all this next time I run across an anaconda.
Back to top	I AM THAT I AM -- WE ARE ALL ONE -- TOUCHING SOULS IP Logged

paradox Ex Member	Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda Reply #5 - May 14^th, 2006 at 2:00pm Even though this whole topic gives me the creeps , I like your scenario much better Rob. LOL Peace Paradox
Back to top	IP Logged

SunriseChaos

Junior Member

Offline

DARK IS THE NIGHT FOR
ALL.

Posts: 99
Gender: female

Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda
Reply #6 - May 14^th, 2006 at 3:06pm

Quote:

Project PUL to the snake

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah sure that should do the trick....
Everybody knows when this kind of snake wrap itself around you it's not really trying to kill you... Noooo... they show you love like that... in a very tight hug, lol
They are lovely creatures snakes, they are

Back to top

I LOST MY HEART. I BURIED IT TOO DEEP UNDER THE IRON SEA. - KEANE&&------------------------------------------------------------&&LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHILE YOU ARE BUSY MAKING OTHER PLANS - JOHN LENNON

IP Logged

Rob_Roy

Super Member

Offline

Posts: 539
New Hampshire, USA
Gender: male

Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda
Reply #7 - May 14^th, 2006 at 3:52pm

When I was in Guantanamo Bay about, oh, fourteen years ago, we found a 17 foot boa. We measured it with a rifle and left it alone. Mankiller. Nice, healthy looking snake. Lots of Banana Rats for it to eat there. We would have shot it, though, if it had tried anything. And yes, we would have eaten it.

Those Peace Corps instructions remind me of someone taking a knife to a gun fight, but I suppose if you aren't allow to carry a rifle where Anancondas are, then you do what you have to do.

Rob

Back to top

IP Logged

LaughingRain

Ex Member

Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda
Reply #8 - May 14^th, 2006 at 5:23pm

I LOVE IT ROB!! HAR!!

going to save your post and send to a friend for laffs.
my friend was in the service and traveled all around, can probably relate.
especially enjoy the new age approach andwanted to add my take:

1) for adventure, get a menial job instead of joining the peace corps as nobody asks you to go make some peace over there anyway and life is a plan of unexpected surprises which includes the necessity of being someone elses din din. after u get a paycheck, then, go shopping in a mall, for inreality, a mall is a jungle.

2) while in the jungle mall, look to your left and right and above for professional pick pockets have honed their craft. if about to become a meal ticket, do not lay prostrate, but quickly ask higher self for guidance.
if HS does not respond quickly enough, forget all the how to manual instructions..run like hell!

3) if running doesn't work..sling your purse at the snake, but make sure you put rocks in your purse before going shopping. one must be prepared.

4) if you are still looking tasty to whatever, screaming works sometimes to bring assistance.
5) if the scream in the forest yields up no assistance you are toast. pop out of the body and draw a committee around u to find out what you could have done and then come back and do it the right way, or u can just say to hell with it and go live on another planet where you don't get eaten.

hugs, thanks for this Rob. alysia

Back to top

IP Logged

Rob_Roy Super Member Offline Posts: 539 New Hampshire, USA Gender:	Re: In case you are attacked by an anaconda Reply #9 - May 14^th, 2006 at 7:29pm Thanks Mair, Sunrise, Paradox, and Alysia. Like your addition, Alisia! Rob
Back to top	IP Logged