Best wishes to you all, and may you be blessed in your heart of hearts now and in the new year to come. I truly do love each one of you, and I thank you for your energy, your thoughts, and your presence in my life.

  Same to you gentle one.

Best wishes to you as well and all the explorers here.


Matthew

It is as if we are all on a long journey through a strange land, with sights and experiences we have never had before, no matter how momentarily familiar a place in our journey may appear. We are searching for the place where we can put down our burdens and rest, enjoy, create with open hearts and a feeling of freedom and, yet, be safe enough to live. How exciting it has all been, even during the most tedious miles.

I feel as if I have been on such a journey, and at times I have lost hope and been in despair, to the point of almost losing my identity. But, it has been worth it. All around me I have seen people who have suffered just like me, who have loss, who have guilt, who have grief, who have anger, who have all sorts of pain that they are carrying with them. The impermanence of life has been so confusing, so devastating, but even a blessing at times.

Without this impermanence, what would we experience? We would have no motion, no learning, no story.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that the basis of our existence rests on such a supreme wisdom that we can hardly imagine it. What we struggle against, what we throw up our hands and give up over, what we run from or hide from...it is all necessary and valuable in ways which are impossible to understand while we are living it. As others have said, it is that great ocean, of which we are a part. Sometimes we feel ourselves to be at the bottom of a deep sea, and sometimes we feel ourselves to be a dancing wave glittering in the light.

Even at the bottom of a deep sea are magical creatures which gleam and amaze. Even at the bottom of a deep sea there are wonders worth exploring.

I used to think that I should try to understand it all, to make this world and some of its people conform to my own ways of thinking. But, my own ways of thinking are so temporary, as is this person who I think is me today. As is this place that I believe I inhabit on this day. I have seen too many oddities in the fabric of my life to think that it is all so simple anymore. I understand that there is so much more to what exists than I can imagine from my own perspective at this moment.

As a woman in my fifties, I remember being nineteen years old, wondering what life had in store for me. I was a confused, sometimes gleeful, sometimes depressed young person...impulsive, selfish, reckless...brave. Writing a poem on my birthday of that year, I spoke to the person I would become. Because I could not imagine her, I could only wonder, and I could only speak unknowingly of the "gifts of all my life"....

If there is anything I can say to someone here who wonders if it is all worth it, yes it is. Yes, it is.

Imagine that you are a scientist visiting a strange world, a planet far away. You are on a mission. One day you will return to your home, but for now, you are doing something very important for your loved ones far away. You are one small part of the mission, but your part is vital to its success. One day everyone back home will understand a piece of the puzzle a little better because you are here. You wanted to be here, no matter how difficult it can be. You are part of the team.

Everywhere I see that people are learning the truth. The truth is not confined to one source, and it will be found by anyone who keeps at it, who keeps searching.

What fun would any of this be if we knew it all when we arrive?

There is more that I would like to say, but spirit says to stop here.