Gone
Copyright 2010
Mitchell Leigh Shelton

Here I am but what am I?
And will I know before I die?

Am I my name my parents gave?
A human destined for the grave?

What am I meant to be?
What am I meant to do?
Can someone come and help me,
cause I haven't got a clue.

My science it has failed me,
so no matter how hard I try.
My cells will keep on aging,
and then one day I'll die.

Death will sneak upon me,
like a thief in black of night.
I'll say I am not ready,
but I can't put up a fight.

Will death mark the ending,
of what I do and see?
Was all I did for nothing?
Fates little joke on me?

Will it even really matter?
Will anyone shed a tear?
When my body it does shatter,
and I face my greatest fear?

I'm in a state of panic now,
I need to know the truth.
I can't take this not knowing,
I need some solid proof.

Things started out so simple,
life was gentle, life was kind.
Now all life does is take away,
and leave loved ones all behind.

All I am, that is, will ever be,
There is nothing left but empty me.
I face my ending all alone,
then nothing is left, no flesh nor bone.

I am gone.

yeah...death affects the ones left behind much more than the one doing the dying. kind of like when you are born.

Nothing effects the dead.
They are gone.
Nothing.
Black.
Empty.

Good Luck with that.

Beau wrote on Apr 11^th, 2010 at 5:23pm:

Good Luck with that.

No kidding.

I feel like I should be wearing black lipstick and white facepaint while I'm reading this stuff.

Someone hand him a flower, please.  Hopefully he won't just eat it or something.

Sorry, that was rude, but this is so over the top.

I don't consider it over the top. Based on current scientific proof It's fairly dead on. With the overall world opinion that the afterlife does not exist it's dead on too. Most people in the world have (at best) a very basic (sort of) belief in the bible and that is it.

(and I mean they don't follow it they just like cross they're fingers and pretend death doesn't exist.)

I face death and look it in the eye.
It scares me. It drives me into a panic, it drives me mad. Someday I will likely have a complete breakdown from it.

But, still, I face it. I don't try to pretend it does not exist. That people don't die and twitch and death rattle.

I heard my cat death rattle.

I watched him die.

he's gone.

Someday I will be gone. I have to face that terrible fact.

My wife can't even talk about it. I think she suffers as much if not more than me. But I will face it. I will fight it with every breath.

I am not doing very well.
I feel.....

I feel.

dark.

Seek and ye shall find. Seek not and ye shall not. Mainstream science and fundamental Christianity are both good reasons to avoid seeking, I guess. It's your ride.

Ok, I've decided you are one of those people who must go out and get another cat immediately. Don't protest until you go to an animal shelter and find some poor, pathetic little thing who needs you. Otherwise, I think you will lose your mind. A kitten, maybe, someone who will have a chance at a better life. Just my 2 cents.

Starcraft, have you read any of Bruce Moen's writings on this website?  Or any of his books?  Or Robert Monroe's books?  Given your mindset, they will not likely convince you about the existence of the afterlife, nor should they.  Nor will anyone on this forum.  However, Moen, Monroe, Tom Campbell, other authors mentioned on this site and many here have explored beyond this physical life and convinced themselves.  They offer their experiences without trying to convince others, but rather to encourage others to explore on their own.  Rather than continue to wallow in your grief you might do some reading (and get a new cat).

Nearly all of us have experienced deep grief over the loss of loved ones.  I still feel intense waves of sadness about the loss of my beloved daughter not so long ago.  But folks on this site and the authors I named above have helped me find another way of looking at that loss, even though I still experience the sadness, to some extent, every single day.

Starcraft,

Here is a poem I wrote a day or two ago, before you made your thread, but I offer it perhaps as a kind of response to Gone.

The Sun Runs IT

These are the ides I’ve seen
And nothing can make them mean to me
I don’t have the courage to come clean
But I have the process to see what I mean to be

This precludes all the ideas I’ve had before
I’m not after the angels anymore
The Sun is the god of this Solar System
But who runs the Sun in all its splendor?

I can see why we invented a god to run the world
I can even see that perhaps there is one in this swirl
It makes more sense to me that we collectively
Bring the new ages upon us instinctively

I’m not one to ponder what I cannot know
So many of my friends don’t ponder at all
Are they doomed to make the same fall
Over and over again and again, I hope the truth will show

Why isn’t “why we are here” more important to the masses?
Why do they insist on letting the institutions tell them their truth?
The something that we know could never come from nothing
But why make up stories to keep people in line?
I hear them all the time
I have no need of the blatant lies
That form so many lives
I am, period and I always will be
Until my consciousness drops off to sleep
But since it never sleeps I just don’t see
How I can hold on to some illusion that I will not be
I am more than my body
Maybe more than some puny soul
I am the world and the universe,
I am eternity within the confines of my prison

I only ask to experience the realms beyond the physical
For more than a fleeting moment
Let me remember my visits with those who are raising me
Like no parent I’ve ever known
Take me to the heights of my understanding,
Just don’t leave me alone
All one is the only truth,
Alone, the one lie,
a L on E. If a Love can be on E so can We
L equals the right angle.
What happened to the left angle?
If there is only a right angle then there can only be
Right inside the mind of the mathematician.

If left equals right then what is one to think?
Ninety degrees suddenly seems so easy to comprehend.
360 degrees even easier when we understand.
The circle of the Sun, The circle of the Earth,
The circle of the atom and the Circle of my birth
Maybe it’s an ellipse or maybe an illusion
I cannot dare to make that call.
The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t have to fall
For all those things that have taken me down before.
I have meaning that comes to me with every breath
And that meaning will never end in death
My life is L, if E. Love “the magic if” of E.
Light has no speed
Energy has no light
Mass has no time,
But when you put them together they spell out Everything
The distance between me and you is less than us being ONE
We are whole upon the place we choose to place ourselves
I am not about the science of understanding
Any more than I am about the politics and religion
I am, period.
What I do is what I do
And the only regrets are the things that I don’t do

I wish I had said “I love you” in a way that meant more to you.
The word “Love” leaves me dry at times
And I cannot muster the energy to use such a word.
Try and try as I might such words don’t come out
But the feelings are something I cannot live without
This is not my home.
I belong to myself but I am you and you are me
And we are never not together as long as we can see
Beyond the physical barriers that hold us in so tight

Dream a little dream of me and know that it is as real as anything we see here
Information processes that allow the data to be interpreted
By the consciousness is all I can understand
When I look at your body sitting there at that computer screen wishing it was somebody else.
And then I can still look at my own hand
But when you light up the room it takes me by surprise
And sometimes I lash out because I was used to the person who liked to hide
In both me and you.

Hi Starcraft,
you may not realise it but more people on this planet believe in the afterlife than don't. It's just that those who don't believe shout louder about it.

In the immortal words of Sir Michael Caine:
'Not a lot of people know that'.

Best

David.
:)

It's awful.

I just got done screaming profanities and literally freaking out at my apartment. If there is no afterlife then there is no reason to live.

No point to life.

I am at the end. All I can feel is nothing. All I can see is nothing. I want to see a medium but I can't afford it. If there is no after life I would much rather have never existed.

I wish I was nothing.
Existing for a short time and then ending is too much to bear.
I think I must kill myself soon.

Starcraft,

If nothing you do matters, then all that matters is what you do.

Starcraft, are you telling us that you don't have a 'happy place' to go to, while you're here on earth? The way I see it, you need to find your 'happy place' and kinda stay there sometimes and get used to that feeling. Then, you can explore the 'afterlife' more easily. You really can't 'care' that much about it if you want to get results. I hate to say it, but screaming and yelling is the opposite of the state you need to be in so that spirit can talk to you.

So, you're going through a lot of frustration, and that takes as long as it takes. Only you know if you are a survivor. My 'take' on it is that you are. So, give it a whirl. Try the methods of exploration explained here in these web pages, or just hang out until you feel a little better and things might look a little different then.

Sometimes I feel that there just might be something, those are good times.

But...

A lot of the time I feel the opposite.

These are really bad times.

I think most of us have been there, Starcraft. When I first realized I needed an undeniable answer I read every website and book I could get my hands on, both pro and con for an afterlife. I got the impression that you may have read Sam Parnia's book from some of your comments. His method, while valiant, is not really going to prove much because once you are out of body you are almost always in a different reality frame than this one which we refer in here to as C1. Dreams and Astral Projections and even daydreaming are different reality frames of consciousness. Once you have an understanding of how different reality frames relate to your C1 life I think you will find some of the evidence you are looking for. Good Luck, buddy.

Yours,
Beau

Also here is an interview with Bob Monroe that has some great info about phasing:

http://www.soulsoothersonline.com/OBE-Monroe.html

If it's already been posted here, my apologies.

Been checking stuff out and just wanted to post that the lawyer presents the case for the afterlife book looks interesting, anyone have any opinions on it?

Info at:

http://www.victorzammit.com/

I am having a better night today... I am still not good. I am sure if Helga saw me she would say I need healing and flower essences, Lol.... too bad I can't see her anyway I have no money. She is a good friend though but she does new age healing for a living and even though she would help me for free I don't want to do that to her.

I have read Victor's book and it is free but for shipping from Australia...it is interesting, but it is a legal case citing those events which prove, from an evidentiary standpoint, that there is life after death.  He does what he says, although there is not much analysis beyond that. 

Poor man. I know exactly how you feel up to a certain degree.

I also do not want to believe we are gone after we die - as in "oblivion" - but scientific evidence is screaming it into my face.

The only things that help me are:

1. It is an undeniable fact that I am alive at the moment. Therefore, I can enjoy and love or suffer and antagonize. It is up to me. Now, do you really need a higher purpose to choose the first option? I dont. If it gets too bad, there is medicine that can help you - get counselling, see a psychiatrist. Now. Do it.

2. It is an undeniable fact that science doesnt have a clue why anything exists at all. Oh, they have theories on the big bang etc., but the "why" is a mystery.

3. Human consciousness, while undeniably tied to the brain and totally gone or altered if the brain is damaged, is still a largely unexplored phenomenon. Every neuroscientists worth her salt will admit to you they havent solved the whole riddle yet. I will only say "placebo effect" and neuro-linguistic programming - I mean, what is it about the "I" that programs my own brain?

4. Think about how many facts that science was 100% convinced of have changed in the last 100 years.

All these are not good hopes, but they do pose loopholes for some form of hope even to the critical mind, dont they?

Read My Big TOE if you think for one minute that consciousness is tied to the brain. You are being deceived big time. It is not and if you don't have the where with all to get through such a large trilogy perhaps you are better off remaining ignorant rather than seeking professional help.

Yours,
Beau

I did read my big TOE, most of it anyway, and it is very interesting. Forgive me, my professional and personal background forces me to accept only what I know and nothing else...we live in hard times where so much about the brain is discovered that it can dishearten the faith in anyone who is working with it.

However, Beau, there is no need to be aggressive, I was trying to help Starcraft (now I see he is an ex-member, he may not even read this anymore).

Life is very beautiful and love is what should drive us all - and the way he is going, he is missing out big time and I feel sorry for him.

Didn't mean to be aggressive if I came off that way I"m truly sorry. I was in a hurry when I wrote to you. Consciousness is fundamental. We live forever but here we are characters in a so called movie. When we merge with our higher self through a conscious effort in meditation we realize we are more than our physical bodies. Today they are disposable but when we merge with our higher self much like an Actor who stops playing a character our decision space grows and we become more one with all that is. That is what I was trying to convey. I have written a short book of tricks and information that I found crucial in my path, but I'm sure it will not be your path per se but it might give some insight. It's called "hear, we go" and I wrote it under the pseudonym Paiden Fuller. You are welcome to an e copy if you would like it. Just send an email to Paiden144@gmail.com and I will rush it out to you. Put  request hear we go in the subject line. Good luck to you...and I'm sorry you didn't finish MBT it's discussion board is quite eye opening but still very scientific compared to this one. I like this one too, because people use their imaginations to form their opinions. Imagine = I"m a genie.

Yours,
Beau

Chwre: ' Forgive me, my professional and personal background forces me to accept only what I know and nothing else...we live in hard times where so much about the brain is discovered that it can dishearten the faith in anyone who is working with it.'

I see where you're coming from but does'nt that mean that logically all you'll ever know is what you know now ?!

Regarding, brain research its not all one way traffic; I'm thinking of people like Dr Peter Fenwick ( Consultant Neuropsychiatrist emeritus to the Epilepsy Unit at the Maudsley Hospital ) and Dr Stuart Hameroff - anesthesiologist who believe that consciousness is more than brain activity.

yes, Hammeroff is on to something for sure. Not everyone is meant to figure this out. The world is too big. It's just that simple. those who cannot see that they are more than their physical bodies are going to sit this one out I guess. So no big deal, they'll get there eventually. Everyone does. You can't destroy energy into nothing for there is no such thing as nothing and there never was.

Man, I will personally bow very low to you in the afterlife if this is true

it`s not like most of us agnostics/atheists are very happy with their belief

I think we live in very hard times for all those people who cannot have firsthand experiences like you do

'So no big deal, they'll get there eventually'

That's a good point Beau, its so easy to beat ourselves up that we're not getting there fast enough... creating a vicious cycle of torment. I think its important to learn to go easy on yourself and chill out which ironically will allow you to progress faster as its the forcing which prevents growth.

yes, Dave, very true. It's the trying that really makes it tough. Once you let go like the REM song Losing My Religion "Try Cry Why Try" That was just a dream just a dream...you are dreaming now this very second. All Consciousness is a dream...it has to be that way, that's why our world breaks down into tiny quarks and smaller particles...it is virtual. This is a learning pattern, your life is a learning pattern for your higher self which is really you but making that connection takes some relaxation to get in touch.

Yours,
Beau

chrwe wrote on May 19^th, 2010 at 4:04am:

I think we live in very hard times for all those people who cannot have firsthand experiences like you do

From my perspective, "very hard times" are the paths chosen by those living them...certainly they are difficult, but to either work toward improving those hard times or simply accepting the hardness and continuing to do your best with PUL provides the karmic/spiritual benefit sought by the soul in choosing to live that path.  How you deal with these hard times is key to achieving what you set out in this lifetime to do.

Certainly firsthand experience can provide additional motivation, but I went over twenty years between eye-opening events before my "two-by-four to the head" event initiated my current path.  If you allow it to come, it will...just don't let your scientific/logical mind get in the way, or try to categorize an event that defies categorization.

Again, I hope this helps.

I honestly had a hard time when I first started believing in life after death. But it's weird. Having spent most of my life as an atheist and agnostic, I didn't really care about it and my life had no substance or sense of worth. I was ok believing that death was the end all, be all because I just saw it as an end to everything. If life sucks, then surely not having to experience or feel anything isn't really that bad. You won't care because you won't be able to care. That thought worked for me, but it didn't make living feel any better.

Then once I came to understand that there are things going on bigger than we can conceive, I could no longer support any theory on the end of consciousness after death and honestly...it hasn't necessarily made life easier, but it has made me more capable of living and given me a new found appreciation for life. I understand more than anything now that our "problems" and these fears and these worries are all attributed to our ego, and if we can overcome our ego then we can overcome the problems associated with it. I believe this is the true solution, because it's been working pretty well for me.

Life isn't about you. It's about everything.

StoneColdTrue wrote on May 19^th, 2010 at 12:15pm:

Life isn't about you. It's about everything.

Viola!

chrwe:

I haven't had an NDE, but one of the reasons I'm able to believe what some NDErs say, is because I had an experience like an NDE without a near death event taking place.

The key thing about my experience is that as it took place I had no doubt about what I experienced and what I understood. I understood in a manner that was much vaster, deeper, clearer and certain than how things tend to be understood while in this world.

Besides the experience I speak about above, I've had numerous other experiences that have made me certain that the afterlife exists. It makes a "HUGE" difference to know that the afterlife exists. I'm grateful I've been able to become certain.

It is hard to say all of the reasons some people become certain, while others don't. I believe Bruce Moen is correct when he says that the more you grow in PUL (pure unconditional love), the easier it is to make contact with positive parts of the spirit world. This is how it has been for me. Partly because my vibration has become more like the vibration of beings who live in higher realms. I still have some work to do. ;)