I have a personal experience I'd like to share here...

My dad passed away two weeks ago.  He'd been very sick for many years and lucky to have lived so long with such illness as congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, atrial fibrillation, severe peripheral neuropathy, diabetes, and other problems.  Each day since his death I'd been waiting for and expecting to feel his presence or see some sign of him trying to contact me in some way. 

My dad's belief in his physical life was that contact between the physical world and the other side wasn't right.  It's not that he didn't believe it was possible, it's that he just didn't think it was right.  It brought up a lot of questions in me.  Now that dad's on the other side, would his belief prevent him from contacting me at all?  Would his belief have changed now that he's on the other side? 

Each day since his death I'd been sending my thoughts to him, of love, memories, and of letting him know I want to know how he's doing.  It's my belief he's receiving my messages, but another question came up…is he ignoring my request for contact because of religious beliefs he held during his lifetime? Granted I had no idea what kind of message, sign, or contact dad would make...showing me a physical sign, hearing his voice in the white noise of a phone call, feeling his presence, or seeing him in a dream....but I figured he'd do something to answer my request for contact.  It was never a question of mine whether he still existed somewhere or even if he was receiving my thoughts to him. 

Then my next question was, when Dad receives my messages and loving thoughts, is it possible this would convince him it's ok to make contact?  My only desire was to have some form of contact that, in whatever way, was a confirmation to me that it was indeed contact with him and a reassurance that he was doing fine.  Because of my own belief and wide variety of experiences, I was open to receiving  anything.  To me, it was only a matter of when. 

Over the weekend as it was approaching a couple weeks since his passing, I was getting a little impatient.  I figured by now I should have received something.  I decided to give another try at making a serious effort to get my request through.  I was at work, sitting in my chair at my desk.  I closed my eyes and took some relaxing deep breaths.  I directed my thoughts to my Higher Self and said in my mind, I'm setting intent for contact with my dad.  The first part of my intent is that my messages and thoughts to Dad get sent to him, and the second part is that I receive, in some way, some contact from my dad in whatever way he feels comfortable and in whatever way I can perceive. And I reminded myself that this is the beginning of a process and I accepted that it will unfold in whatever manner and time it takes.  (I hoped this last part would take the pressure off of any expectations I had that could block my perception). 

Stating my intent didn't take long, maybe a minute or two.  Instantly in complete surprise, I found myself on a ship sailing in the ocean.  There was nothing to notice about the transition…it just went from one moment to the next.  I was completely aware that I had just been sitting in my chair at work and setting an intent to my Higher Self, and yet I also felt completely realistically standing on a large, old-time ocean liner and looking out over the railing into the rushing waves. 

I consciously decided to allow myself to go along with this scene to see where it led, and the more I relaxed, the more fully immersed into the scene I became.  Soon I felt out of body like a point of consciousness, completely disconnected from my physical surroundings of just a moment ago.  As I looked out over the railing and into the ocean, I saw the ocean waves, saw that we were moving, and saw that I had my back to the front of the ship and could not see where we were headed, only where we'd been. 

Standing next to me on my left, someone dressed as the ship's Captain made his presence known by thought, letting me know he's received my messages and request.  It was at that moment that I realized my intent to speak to my Higher Self had been delivered, and that this scene must be a symbolic representation of that process.   

My Higher Self dressed as Captain crossed in front of me and passed through a door on my right, and I could see him walk up a small flight of stairs, accompanied by someone else.  I wondered where he was going and instinctively understood he was going up top to steer the ship to the destination I'd set intent for.  I wanted to go too but felt that it wasn't my place to do so.  The feeling I received told me that my role was only to go along for the ride.  So this must be how it works, I thought.  I am responsible for setting my intent, and then the rest gets taken care of.  I don't even need to figure out how I get there but just go along for the ride.

Someone dressed in a sailor's uniform, accompanied by someone else, came out through the door and as he passed in front of me heading for the railing that overlooked the ocean he said to his companion, "But how will I know it works?  Will I remember?  How will I recognize him?"  The person accompanying him reassured him that feeling doubt was normal but not to worry about that as long as he took responsibility for his part in the process.  This seems to represent an aspect of myself that worries if I'll be able to feel the connection to my Higher Self the next time I want to set intention for something, I thought.  Watching this whole scene in this way reassured me of the role that I play in this process. 

I started to come back to normal waking consciousness and was able to remember the entire experience.  Since this experience showed me how the process of placing intent works, I knew that I’d be soon having some contact with my dad.



Hours later while still at work and taking another break, I sat at my desk and closed my eyes to relax.  I found myself suddenly standing inside my parents’ house.  I was out of body again but wasn’t aware of it.  I didn’t have the split awareness between the OBE and physical reality that I’d had in my previous experience while on the ship.  I also wasn’t aware that just moments ago I was sitting at my desk at work.

As I stood inside my parents’ house I realized I could hear my dad speaking.  It was such a joy to hear his voice again and hear his laughter.  He was obviously in a very happy mood and enjoying himself.  As I listened I could tell he was doing what he loved best…talking about God and relating stories from The Bible.  My dad loved writing sermons.  Hearing Dad this way was something I haven’t heard in many years.  Dad sounded so young, vibrant, and alive…and especially happy.  I was so relieved to hear and feel him this way.  I knew Dad must have been feeling wonderful.  Dad’s words flowed fluidly into each other without pause or space in between them, yet I could understand everything he said.  It was as if hours of speaking only took mere seconds. 

I wanted to go to him and wondered where he was.  It sounded like he was high above me and it made me wonder maybe Dad is just upstairs in his room?  But as soon as I thought that, I got the feeling I wasn’t able to go to where he was but was only receiving a message from Dad to let me know how he was doing.  Oh.  He must not actually be here in the house, but I just hear him.  How am I able to hear my dad if he’s not really here? I asked myself.

Then I thought, he’s back!  Dad’s back to his old self.  I could tell just by listening to how happy he sounded that my dad was back to his old self, and that he was no longer suffering from all the illness and ailments of his physical body.  That realization made me wonder, but Dad used to be so sick.  Now he’s back to his old healthy, young self again.  I haven’t heard Dad so happy in such a long time.  By now I was a little confused, and it was at this point that I began to come back to normal waking consciousness very slowly.  As I became more consciously focused in physical reality, I lost the feeling of being in my parents’ house, and along with it I was losing memory very quickly.  The only thought in my mind that remained was hearing myself think “he’s back” and feeling my dad’s presence. 

He’s back?  I asked myself.  He’s back alive again?  I still wasn’t quite all the way back to normal waking consciousness as I began trying to analyze this.  I thought that “he’s back” meant my dad had somehow been brought back to life.  This obviously made no sense and I felt very confused.  Then suddenly I remembered having seen my dad’s dead body in the ER and I knew it was not possible for him to be back alive again. 

As I began to more fully come back to normal waking consciousness I thought about what I could have possibly meant by thinking the words “he’s back”. 

Suddenly full memory of my OBE at my parents’ house came back into my awareness.  I could remember everything…hearing dad’s voice, and hearing how happy, healthy, and young he sounded.  It was amazing that from one moment to the next I could so easily forget everything that had just happened.  But just by wondering what those words meant to me brought back full memory of the experience into my conscious awareness. 

I indeed finally got my contact experience with my dad, and this experience showed me that Dad was back to his old self again, feeling young, happy, and enjoying himself.  It felt so good to experience him this way and to know he is doing well on the other side.  And although this wasn’t the type of contact experience I’d been expecting or hoping for, I feel the unexpectedness of it makes it all the more genuine.  I am so thankful for it. 

Vicky

How amazing. Baby steps. :) My dad always "says hi" in my dreams.  :)

Vicky

Thanks for the post. I am sorry to hear about your dad... (I guess I'm sorry...I never feel quite "right" about expressing condolences to folks here. I mean, thngs aren't the same any more, so that is sad, but but he sounds so robust now...it's all bittersweet). It always seems to me with what you post that you are making great strides in moving forward, for all of us. I appreciate the clarity of your descriptions of your experiences too. Thanks for including a description of how you "lost" the experience and then regained it. Is the way you were moving between states what bets was calling phasing? I have trouble recalling things sometimes; I feel as though I have shifted between realities but then I can't really remember. (Fortunately this does not happen at important places such as work!). This happens sometimes even when I am just napping or daydreaming. It is reassuring to know it happens to others, even when you are doing something you set out to do. I also find it interesting that your HS set out to let you know it 'heard' from you and then you encnountered your dad, in a way reminiscent of RAM's visit with his doc friend, who was young and talking a blue streak on the other side, so he didn't really interact with Bob. Maybe your dad isn't ready to meet you face-to-face, so to speak, but that is something you can look forward to!

Thanks again.

Thank you for sharing this very personal experience, Vicky, and you describe it so beautifully. I, too, find it interesting how you came back from the second experience without the full memory, and yet you had an 'anchor', something to pull you back into the experience so that you now have a vivid memory. Because you were open to any kind of contact, it is interesting to note what kind you received, how quickly and directly your request was answered. What is the difference between what you did for this contact and what you were doing before? Isn't two weeks considered a good period of time to wait, at least a little while, from what I hear from others. I love that he was represented happy and young and vigorous. I don't really know what could be more 'real' than what you experienced. Thanks again for sharing, and keep well.

Vicky,

I am so happy to know that you've had contact with your dad and that he is doing well.  Thank you for sharing your experience in such detail and clarity, and giving deep insight into your thoughts and feelings as it unfolded.  What a gift you have given others here by sharing such a personal experience.

There are so many folks who deeply desire contact with loved ones who've passed and ask how it is done.  Your description is such a great example of letting preconceived ideas and expectaions of how it should happen fall away, and be accepting of whatever way it can happen.  I think many of us get in our own way by focusing on how it  can or should happen instead of just placing intent and letting the experience unfold as it will.

Readers who wish to have contact with their loved ones would do well to reread your story several times to absorb the depth and breadth of all the details that led to your contact with your dad.

Thanks again, Vicky

Bruce

Thanks for the replies everyone. 

Nini,

I am actually surprised that I haven't dreamed about my dad yet, or maybe I just haven't remembered them.  I hope I do start getting dreams about him!

Lucy,

It is my guess, too, that what I was describing is what Phasing is.  It's not a term I use, but I think it's the same idea...that your mental or conscious focus can be more in one area than the other, be split between the two, or make a shift from one to another.  I think there's going to be varying degrees of how fast or slow phasing happens.  For instance, in my 2nd OBE the shift happened so fast that as soon as I found myself standing in my parents' house, I had absolutely no memory of how I got there or what I was just doing a moment ago.  Whereas, the ability to have split awareness between your physical surroundings and the nonphysical experience you experience yourself in, is quite astounding.  I really enjoy that type of experience because I can enjoy taking in the nonphysical experience in all its aspects but at the same time I'm able to use my normal every-day thinking rational mind and full memory of myself and my life, etc.  Thanks for your other comments too!

B2,

Hi, thanks for your comments too.  You asked what the difference was between what I was doing previously and what I did before this experience.  I know for sure that one thing was that I was getting very impatient, literally.  I get very frustrated and impatient with myself and I know I do all the wrong things and block out my abilities!!  The first 2 weeks I was obviously busy, sad, crying off and on, and trying to maintain normal life.  I didn't have much time for some real mental relaxation.  Another thing I did "wrong" was have the frame of mind of sitting, waiting, and listening for something from my dad...like hearing him talk to me in my mind, seeing something in my mind, etc.  The reason I say that was wrong is only because I think it is too limited of a way to open yourself up to all the possibilities. 

So when I finally did the relaxing mental exercise that I described in my post, it was at a time when I was already relaxed mentally, not doing much of anything, basically bored.  (It was a work day and very slow, not much to do).  So my mind was in the frame of mind of looking for something to do, so to speak.  I think that made it much easier for me to really focus my awareness, thoughts, and energy on the right frame of mind for setting intent.  I think, too, it was easy to let go of any expectations simply because I was not in a hurry, upset, frustrated, anxious, etc.  Basically, bored.   :)   That seems to be a good frame of mind to be in!  It made it easy for me to not be distracted I guess. 


Bruce,

Thank you!  You have been so inspirational and such a wonderful teacher and friend.  Thanks for all that you do.   

Love,
Vicky

Thank you, Vicky, for sharing your experience. I found it very moving, not to mention very interesting and helpful. I have been visiting this board ever since Bruce started it--maybe ten years, now? It was Bruce's first book that finally convinced me to overcome my fears and go to The Monroe Institute to do the Gateway Voyage program, something I wanted to do since I initially read Bob Monroe's book, Journeys out of the Body, back in the late 1970s, and then Far Journeys in the mid-1980s. I have been back to TMI a number of times since, and I have read (and greatly enjoyed) all of Bruce's subsequent books.

I want to say that your post used to be typical of the kind of valuable and informative discussion of personal experience that used to bring me to visit here frequently. I know nothing stays the same after ten years, but it seems to me that a lot of what is posted here now is of a very different character.

Some folks seem primarily interested in trumpeting their own metaphysical "accomplishments"--"Look at me! See what I've done and experienced!" is their mantra. Others seem obsessed with their own belief-systems and in trying to convince others (and probably themselves) that theirs is the One Right Way to Believe. And clearly there are a lot of people out there who are lonely and isolated and are just trying to connect, and use this forum as a space to do that.

None of this is bad, in and of itself, mind you; it's just very different from what this board used to be, and what it used to provide. Your post reminded me of what I've been missing. Thanks again!

Hi Lakeman,

Thank you for your heartfelt compliments.  What you've said is very refreshing and I'm very grateful to hear that my experiences and writing makes you feel that way.  Thank you so much!

Vicky

Hi Vicky, thanks for your post.

As you said, you widened your frame for receiving possible messages. The experience on the ship gave you some more relaxed-acceptance, so that you were able to have this experience in your parents' house fully non-split. I think normally we're instinctively avoiding such "reality swaps", but the experience on the ship gave you that mindset "don't worry too much, let's just see where the journey goes to" so that you could accept, and not resist, this sudden transportation to your parents' home. Hm, that's what I thought reading your post, it's so precisely observed, forgive me for my rambling...  :)

Spooky

Vicky, thank you for your heartfelt, heartwarming post. 

You inspire me to keep trying to contact my daughter who died in October, 2008.  I had a dream recently that told me it was up to me to make contact with her.  I was in my house (where she had lived, too).  Someone was rattling the front door, pushing it back and forth as if trying to open a locked door.  When I went to the door, it was not even fully closed.  I opened it and Megan was standing there, but her mouth was strange, like those pixilated pictures designed to keep you from identifying someone.  At first, I was shocked and scared, but I quickly woke up and got the message.

Again, thank you for the inspiration. 

Pat

Hi Vicky,

Beautifully told ! You made clear all aspects of that wonderful experience. I love reading it and come back to it often for one more read  :)

Bets

spooky2 wrote on Feb 4^th, 2010 at 11:59pm:

The experience on the ship gave you some more relaxed-acceptance, so that you were able to have this experience in your parents' house fully non-split. I think normally we're instinctively avoiding such "reality swaps" Spooky

Hey Spooky,

I completely agree about the "reality swaps" reference because whenever I do have one of those "instant transportation" experiences I always end up having a feeling of amnesia where I can't remember how I got there or what I'm supposed to be doing.  It happens in most of my OBEs unless I am able to "go out" slowly and/or feel the split-awareness.  I've noticed this...that in the split-awareness ones, I feel like a point of consciousness and do not perceive myself having a body.  In the other kind where I am just suddenly "awakening" in a scene somewhere, I perceive myself with a body and the scene feels and looks completely like physical reality in every way.  I've even had experiences of both these aspects in the same OBE, just switching between the two.  I must admit, I haven't yet figured out the cause of either one. 

Pat E. wrote on Feb 5^th, 2010 at 3:10am:

Vicky, thank you for your heartfelt, heartwarming post.  You inspire me to keep trying to contact my daughter who died in October, 2008.  I had a dream recently that told me it was up to me to make contact with her.  Pat

Pat, I'm happy you felt inspired by my experience.  I really have tried hard many times to contact my dad in some way since he died.  I admit I tried many things because I didn't want to "overlook" any potential contact.  I even answered the phone each time it rang (which I usually ignore if I feel like it) just because I thought, what if I pick it up and hear my dad?  I've done things like looking to notice if anything in my house had been moved or placed in a certain way, or trying to notice repetitive signs that might pop up throughout the day.  But then I realized these were only physical things that I was focusing on.  I also became upset that I would wake each morning and not remember a single dream about my dad.  I kept wondering, what's going on?  I'm not getting anything from him!  So this experience of hearing him enjoying his sermons was a nice and unexpected reminder of my dad in a way I hadn't remembered him in several years.  It definitely felt more genuine than some of the lame signs I was hoping for.  This, to me, was a reminder of my dad's real personality, so that was very touching and felt like something I definitely could not have just made up. 

It is my belief that our minds create the framework for how we perceive things so that they make sense to us, like in this case I perceived being in my parents' house so that it would be an acceptable way for me to hear my dad talking.  It took some of the shock out of having to deal with the fact that he was dead, and I was able to enjoy remembering this aspect of his personality without having the shock of his death be something that blocks my perception. 

The dream you described of your daughter made me think that she definitely is trying to contact you (because she came to your door and was trying to speak) but that you haven't been able to get what she's saying (because you couldn't see or hear her words).  I hope you keep trying to visit her in dreams.  I often set intent to dream about a particular person if I want contact with them.  It doesn't always give me a result, but I do try.  Maybe that too makes it more genuine when we do have contact, the fact that it doesn't just come so easy. 

Thanks, Vicky.  I've had many dreams about Megan since she died.  Some with her as a little girl, some as a teenager or young adult.  This one was perhaps the most vivid and compelling.  I agree with your comments about it.  I know she has been trying to speak to me from my reading with Caryl Dennis.  I just have to learn how to hear her.  I will, I know.  The longer I hang out with folks like you and Bets and the others here, the more certain I become.

Vicky;
Thank you  for  sharing your post/information's/experiences; i could follow/see everything from a distance so to speak, well done/written..:)
I am sorry to hear about your dad but i'm sure you'll have more visits with him in the future.
Again thank you for sharing.
PUL
Romain

Hi Vicky,

I am glad you received your own signal from him and about him.  It is very similar to my own.  My dad died about 2-3 years ago.  He had a progressive neurological disorder, and had been essentially bedbound for 2 years before his death. 

I set intent to talk with him.  I told him I loved him, and what I had learned of the afterlife, try to, at least in my mind warn him of the pitfalls of getting stuck.  Within three weeks of his death two episodes came up, though not what I expected. 

The first was similar to your own.  I had a phasing experience where I was back in my childhood home, his home.  I knew that my mother and sister (who are alive) were in the den.  Here I was, in the living room and my father was stretched out in a reclining position on the couch.  He was elderly and frail, as he had been before he died.  I looked at him and spoke, and we exchanged some small talk.  Then, with great effort, I focused and said: "wait a minute, this can't be happening dad, you are dead."  He looked up at me, smiled and simply said "No, I'm still here."  At that moment, I was absolutely sure that he was.  I started to move to the next room to get my mother and sister to bring them in and show them that my father was still with us.  Then I snapped back into the real world.

I shook my head and wondered.  Was this a wishful daydream?  A lucid dream?  If it was a contact from him, why was he still frail and elderly in appearance?  And yet, it was very different than my usual lucid dreams.  I called my mother and sister and told them what happened.  My "take" on things were that this was a true communication and that he had a lot of healing to do after a long bout of being bedridden with dementia.  But that he was in fact "still here."

Two shorter episodes followed in one, a dream, I was on the telephone, and my father's distinctive voice was at the other end.  He was giving me advice, and again, at a certain point I focused like I would in the physical world and said "but wait a minute dad, how can we be talking now, when you died?"  Very shortly after the phone call ended.  The next episode came later, in a train.  I had an image in my mind of my father from a photograph he had once showed me in his youth.  I hadn't thought about that image in a while.  It was him, and he was 17 or 18, on the beach, in perfect shape and smiling.  The image was, a strong one.  It lingered in my mind for a while and then was gone.  Could it have been my own wishful thinking, or was it a sign of his post-mortem progression?  I don't know.  But i reported it to my family, and to some extent, it gave us comfort.

I was hoping for something more direct, like a direct account of the hereafter, but I got what I got.  And, I suppose I was thankful for that much.  I would have wanted more.  i still talk to him from time to time, as well as a few other of my deceased loved ones, hoping they will hear me.  I don't understand the "timelessness" of the afterlife mental plane, but if it is outside of time, then the whole issue of reincarnation and contact from our dimension may not matter. 

Vicky, there may be more to come, but your story rings true and similar to my own.  I say, keep talking to him.  Project whatever it is you want him to know.  It may be easier for him to hear your thoughts than vice versa.

Thanks for your sharing your experience.

Matthew

Matthew,

Thanks for sharing your story about your own contact with your dad.  I'm glad you had a similar-type experience.  I agree that it's important to just accept what you get.  I'm certainly thankful for my own experience, but I do admit that I was wishing for somehow hearing from dad in such a way that he'd be able to describe in detail what his death was like, who greeted him on the other side, what he could see, and what he was doing.  But even so, the way I could feel my dad's energy and presence in this experience was so real that I have no doubt about it. 

It is my belief that your memory of the old photo of your dad was in response to your perceiving his presence or was his way of contacting you.   

A few months ago I had a similar type episode along those lines.  As an experiment, I had set intent to receive some form of contact with someone deceased.  I had no idea what was to come!

Immediately after setting intent, an old memory popped into my head interrupting my train of thought.  I brushed it off as some random thought that had nothing to do with anything...however, the memory was of a boy I knew in high school who had once asked me out on a friendly date.  We had fun but it was nothing serious and we never went out again.  As I recalled the memory, I thought it was so strange that I would have any reason to remember him or the memory.  I hardly knew him well and certainly didn't know him past high school and had had no contact with him since. 

The very next day I was alerted to sign up for my 20th high school reunion, and while browsing the website I discovered that this person was deceased!  He had died a few years earlier, but I had not known about it.  I fully believe that my request for learning to be in contact with someone deceased, then suddenly getting the old memory popping into my head, and then finding out he is deceased was not mere coincidence. 

Bruce is always reminding me to always pay attention to the very next thing that pops into my awareness when doing any kind of intent or nonphysical work.  It is advice I don't think I will forget!

Matthew, I hope you are right that it is easier for those on the other side to hear us and receive our messages.  It's comforting to believe that. 

Vicky

Vicky,

I'm so amazed, your story seems as if it was written or intended just for me!  My dad died in June.  He knew he was fading, and had signed a DNR.  He asked to be moved to the hospice wing of the hospital.  He was 83.  My family and I had 4 precious days with him as he gently slipped away.  Several times as he lay sleeping I asked him "please send me a sign that you're okay when you get there, Dad!"  When he died, I was filled with such grief, and driven to search the internet for anything relating to contacting loved ones.  This site was one of the first to appear, and I've been reading here ever since. 

I, too, wanted some kind of clear "without a doubt" communication from him, answers about where he is, what he's doing, what it was like to die. 

What I have received so far are a few waking image experiences, and one vague dream (I had him on the phone, and was trying to ask where we were supposed to meet,  but I couldn't hear what he was saying because there was the noise of so many people talking in the background). 

You said your father loved writing sermons.  My Dad was a minister, too, and spent much time over his sermons!  I have also wondered the same thing, that maybe he believed that there shouldn't be contact between the sides, as my Mom also believes, and maybe that was hindering contact.  Yet, I have had a few images of him that have come to me in which he was well (and rather much younger), one image in which he was sitting in his old study, talking intently with Ted Kennedy. 

This site has been so meaningful for me, I have to think it was given to me as a gift.

Thank you Vicky, and all.  Will keep on listening, will try to stay open, and will just keep on believing.

Hi Calypso,

Thanks!  I'm glad you found this meaningful to you.  We do have a lot of similarities in our stories don't we.  I think I didn't mention though that my dad was only 69.  Isn't that so young?  But with his poor health, I know he couldn't have lived longer even if he wanted to.  And we all know that my dad was ready to go when it was time.  I don't think he had any regrets. 

I hope you're not still grieving terribly.  I am doing so much better than I thought I would, and I know it's all due to my spiritual beliefs and what I've learned over the past few years.  But...I still have tons of questions and things that I'm confused or unsure about.  I keep setting intent/praying every day for more experiences and more opportunities to learn more.  But I just have to accept what I get.  Like I said, even though this contact experience wasn't what I'd hoped for per se, it was at least a little experience to keep me going until the next learning experience comes along.  I'm constantly yearning for more.

Love,
Vicky

Lakeman wrote on Feb 4^th, 2010 at 8:56pm:

I want to say that your post used to be typical of the kind of valuable and informative discussion of personal experience that used to bring me to visit here frequently. I know nothing stays the same after ten years, but it seems to me that a lot of what is posted here now is of a very different character. Some folks seem primarily interested in trumpeting their own metaphysical "accomplishments"--"Look at me! See what I've done and experienced!" is their mantra. Others seem obsessed with their own belief-systems and in trying to convince others (and probably themselves) that theirs is the One Right Way to Believe. And clearly there are a lot of people out there who are lonely and isolated and are just trying to connect, and use this forum as a space to do that. None of this is bad, in and of itself, mind you; it's just very different from what this board used to be, and what it used to provide. Your post reminded me of what I've been missing. Thanks again!

Lakeman,
What you've said here is quite true;
i do miss the way the old forum was and yes I've been here since the beginning also. But we have to evolve.

Nerveless what Vicky posted here is a classic in sharing  her thoughts and feeling experiences and worth re-reading as Bruce says, so much information in that post

Keep it up Vicky.. ;)
and thank you again for sharing.

Welcome to the board Lakeman
PUL R.