Hello, all!
I hop its correct forum place where to put msg like this..
and yeah im new one in this forum, found it with mother google help  ;). But about the topic : Already like  1 year i have like every day in my mind this 1 think, death..
Usually i start thinking about it when i go sleep.. im trying like to imagine how its would be when i die. and then this starting, i soo mach scare from it.. I don't really believe god exist, more like i believe we are not alone in universe that for my is more like possible. because universe is 1 big place, and 100% there need to be something. But god.. ehm.. u wanna say some guy in air watch as  :-?, and he maid as all? More like i believe that we made from some little creatures who in big time period upgrade until a peoples. thats for my is more true able.. after reading so mach about it in books.. So we get back and yeah if god not exist then where goes after life  :-? that more like mean there is no after life  :-/ And when i start think about it before going sleep its make me SOO mach to scare.. really really mach.. my hear like start jumping.. and i so mach afraid i cant do like this more.. When i think about it i see only Black, dark, noshing more.. like some black hole.. like u stop exsist, and its make more scare totally.. and then i always tell my self.. Damm don't worry u will never die! U will live forever.. and u know its not true..  >:( and then u think.. sec.. damm after 20 biljo or milj (dont really member) sun will stop shining and then we all die..  :-/ so i cant live forever..  :'( its not anymore normal.. its make me crazy. and when i think about it i have somewhere fillens like u got this brains. people use only 3-5 % and here u go what they can do if we use all 100% maybe even kill our self.. only with mind control.. and thats make me more scared and i think about it and its go in 1 big circle.. and its bad..  :-[ So somebody can tell my what to do.. I read up forum a bit i see u all believe afterlife..  How can i prove it to my self that afterlife exist?
But i wanna do it not risk with loosing my body.. pff..  :-/

Sorry for english still learning it..

Dariks,

Welcome to the Conversation Board!  There is a lot to read on this site that you will find beneficial to what you're looking for.  Have you read the article links?  Here is a link to a page on this website where it is outlined how to practice making afterlife contact. 

http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/contact.html


Vicky

Welcome Dariks,

I'm glad you posted here!

That dark hole has to be only your own imagination's creation because death is not that way!  If that were true, the human race would have scared itself out of existence a long time ago   ;)

Remember the safest, kindest love you have ever felt?  That is much like the natural state of our universe.  You can imagine such love again and when you do, you will be overpowering your own fear and getting closer to a wonderful Source of Love that can gently lift you beyond physical cares. Try it  :) 

As Vicky suggested, read the Free Articles and What Is the Afterlife etc by clicking on those titles at the top of the page. You can move past your self-made fear -- I did  :) 

Please write again soon,
Bets

Are you afraid to go to sleep when you go to bed?Its the same way when you are dieing.you die everytime every night when we fall asleep.you also leave your body when you sleep.George

Hi,
I have experienced death due to a suicide attempt and subsequent near death experience. After my near death experience all I can say is the afterlife is wonderful much better than out present earthly realm . Death is really just like passing through a veil into another more beautiful reality

Alan

betson wrote on Dec 26^th, 2009 at 10:41pm:

Welcome Dariks, I'm glad you posted here! That dark hole has to be only your own imagination's creation because death is not that way!  If that were true, the human race would have scared itself out of existence a long time ago   ;) Remember the safest, kindest love you have ever felt?  That is much like the natural state of our universe.  You can imagine such love again and when you do, you will be overpowering your own fear and getting closer to a wonderful Source of Love that can gently lift you beyond physical cares. Try it  :)  As Vicky suggested, read the Free Articles and What Is the Afterlife etc by clicking on those titles at the top of the page. You can move past your self-made fear -- I did  :)  Please write again soon, Bets

Hi dear Bets,

I am back after a long absence after with visiting my daughter.

Love

Alan

Hi Dariks, welcome. Well, one way of looking at things is to go ahead and imagine the very worst you can think of -- sort of like you already did. So, then what? Even if you end up in a dark place, I feel very sure that there will be a light nearby, somewhere, just for you. So, no matter where you find yourself, look around, and find that ray of hope.

Perhaps, read a lot of near death experiences from other people. They will show you that all kinds of things can 'happen' after death, and a lot of them are wonderful.

On this site, you can learn how to explore on your own. Or, you may find it happening naturally, as you rest in meditation, or follow a spiritual practice. You may even wake from an interesting dream and wonder, who was that?

My belief is, basically, after death, anywhere you hang your hat is your home. So, just keep an open mind, and keep reading. By the way, your english sounds very fine to me!

Below is a poem of mine that might help.

Infinity Road

As I approach the infinite long dark night
I resist it with all my might
I try and try to comprehend this end
To which all men must descend

Is it a sleep that all must take?
Or is it an eternal end that all must make?
I like to dream of awakening in light not dark
In a beautiful place to which all righteous men depart

Do we sleep the sleep of forever?
Or do we awake some other place together?
Does the answer to this ultimate question
Remain forever a process of eternal redemption?

On one glorious day from timeless sleep I awoke
And heard a beautiful and kind voice that sweetly spoke
My faithful son at last you have became to understand
Exactly your place in this troubled land

You my beloved have truly never ceased to seek
The infinite destiny that in eternity for you I keep

So for you and your family no eternal death awaits
Because of your zeal to know your fate
Soon I will bring you all to this most Holy Place
And there I will you never forsake

Very soon, you shall hear a sweet call in the dark of night
Come, come into the Holy Glory of the Father Spirit of Mighty Might

I walk in the cool of evening along sweet meadows I have never seen
I smell the beauty of grasses that have never been
Strange golden streams of crystal water flows
As blue glory of mighty skies above glows

I search the long forgotten memories in the attic of my mind
Along the twisted channels the very depth soul that I could not find

I see before me things so wonderful I knew from long long ago
I puzzle over the enigma of knowing what I do not know

Out there far beyond the knowledge of any man is revealed
Something of such great mystery to it my heart had appealed

Why have I on this one thing so many years stalled?
Is this infinite knowledge from many man would be appalled?

Walking on through the shade of great trees that give eternal life

I hear the sweet forgotten voice that comes to free all from everlasting strife

High green new grasses in this new do land grow
As transparent waters chuckle dance, sparkle, and flow

ALAN (COMPOSED 16/2/2005)

Welcome dariks. I hope you find what your looking for. Many people are afraid of what they dont understand. You will be OK. Take a look around. You have made the first step and opened your eyes to the possibilities.

Hello Dariks:

Regarding that dark place, some of the people who have near death experiences experience a dark place at first, but then at some point, perhaps after asking for help, they see a divine light, and move on to a place that is filled with love, happiness and peace.

I believe what near death experiencers tend to say, because I've had a similar experience without have a near death event, and experienced a heavenly realm in a manner that was absolutely certain. What I experienced was way beyond what my earth based mind could create. I understood that the heavenly realm is what our life is really about. This World is a temporary place of learning.

I've had numerous other experiences that also made it clear that the afterlife exists.  Life in this World is just a very small part of what exists.

When you die,it wount be the first time,and it will not be your last.George

recoverer wrote on Dec 29^th, 2009 at 4:57pm:

Hello Dariks: Regarding that dark place, some of the people who have near death experiences experience a dark place at first, but then at some point, perhaps after asking for help, they see a divine light, and move on to a place that is filled with love, happiness and peace. I believe what near death experiencers tend to say, because I've had a similar experience without have a near death event, and experienced a heavenly realm in a manner that was absolutely certain. What I experienced was way beyond what my earth based mind could create. I understood that the heavenly realm is what our life is really about. This World is a temporary place of learning. I've had numerous other experiences that also made it clear that the afterlife exists.  Life in this World is just a very small part of what exists.

Hi Recoverer

You are correct I think most near death experience go firstly into what is called the 'VOID" During my Near Death event experienced it but only briefly before moving on under the guidance of the Being of Light that accompanied me

Alan

george stone wrote on Jan 4^th, 2010 at 10:26pm:

When you die,it wount be the first time,and it will not be your last.George

You are wrong George I will not come back to this sometimes bleak earthly existence . Death is a very unpleasant thing and the thought of going through it over and over again horrifies me

Hi dirks,

about ur fear of dying....trust me i was crippled with it...but then again what other option do u have?...Whether or not an afterlife exists...is another question...the question is...would u know it when u die?...chances r not..unless u happen to be tortured by someone to death...dont fear death...

seeking_answers wrote on Mar 12^th, 2010 at 1:15am:

Hi dirks, about ur fear of dying....trust me i was crippled with it...but then again what other option do u have?...Whether or not an afterlife exists...is another question...the question is...would u know it when u die?...chances r not..unless u happen to be tortured by someone to death...dont fear death...

The real fear of death is the idea that after you die you simply cease to exist. AS a person once clinically dead I can assure you the essential you, your awareness and unique consciousness simply continues to exist usually in a much more beautiful place

Blessings and  Light

Uncle Alan

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 12^th, 2010 at 1:44am:

seeking_answers wrote on Mar 12th, 2010 at 1:15am: Hi dirks, about ur fear of dying....trust me i was crippled with it...but then again what other option do u have?...Whether or not an afterlife exists...is another question...the question is...would u know it when u die?...chances r not..unless u happen to be tortured by someone to death...dont fear death... The real fear of death is the idea that after you die you simply cease to exist. AS a person once clinically dead I can assure you the essential you, your awareness and unique consciousness simply continues to exist usually in a much more beautiful place Blessings and  Light Uncle Alan

I said this in another thread, but I didn't used to have a fear of that at all. I liked the idea of not existing in death. Not that I desired it any time soon, but it's difficult for me to consider the things I enjoy here being carried into the afterlife. Like sleep? It kind of sucks getting to it but once you're there, sleep is amazing. I wonder about sleep in the afterlife. I always considered that if you cease to exist in death, how is that not peace? That is true eternal rest. How can we be in the afterlife and not carry emotions? I understand that fear could not exist and maybe that's the biggest difference. Maybe the disappearance of fear at acceptance is the true gift of the afterlife. There are just so many things to wonder about.

I really think the true fear of death is the discomfort in not truly knowing where you will end up. If it was as simple as having the knowledge "Yes, I will go to a great place and it will be wonderful" then technically fear could cease to exist even here. But the point of fear is to be the soul's biggest obstacle. And that's that difference too in "believing" and "knowing." I BELIEVE the afterlife is real and that it will be a great place, but I do not KNOW it. So therefore I still have fear.

But as was said in the other thread, death is beyond our control. When it happens, it happens and it WILL happen. I should also add that younger people probably fear death more than older people. Older people have had so many experiences and have reached a level that younger people haven't and so we feel that with seeing death and the many tragedies on a daily basis, that we may not get as far as we want to. I have this fear. My fear isn't death itself, but that it will come too soon. But what can I possibly do? I can't live so cautiously that I can't live. So I just let the thought sit, and I live day to day and get done what must be done.

What helped me the most with my fears was listening to the Going Home series that Robert Monroe put out, especially Disc 7. It didn't get me OoB, but it really helped me to ease my mind about death and gave me a fresh perspective on Bruce Moen's books too, which led me to look at things a bit more scientifically with Tom Campbell's "My Big TOE".

I have to say too that my fear of death was great when I was a child, but then eased in my early adult years and then returned as got into my mid forties (as  people around me began dying off). I hope you find something that works for you. It's much easier for me to live my life without fear of being dead; however, the fear of the dying process still haunts me at times.

yours
Beau

Beau wrote on Mar 12^th, 2010 at 10:44am:

What helped me the most with my fears was listening to the Going Home series that Robert Monroe put out, especially Disc 7. It didn't get me OoB, but it really helped me to ease my mind about death and gave me a fresh perspective on Bruce Moen's books too, which led me to look at things a bit more scientifically with Tom Campbell's "My Big TOE". I have to say too that my fear of death was great when I was a child, but then eased in my early adult years and then returned as got into my mid forties (as  people around me began dying off). I hope you find something that works for you. It's much easier for me to live my life without fear of being dead; however, the fear of the dying process still haunts me at times. yours Beau

Death is really just going through a portal into another realm of existence. What bothers me about death is the process of dying

Someone once said I really like the idea of heaven but I don't want to die to get there

Alan

Vicky wrote on Dec 26^th, 2009 at 9:56pm:

Dariks, Welcome to the Conversation Board!  There is a lot to read on this site that you will find beneficial to what you're looking for.  Have you read the article links?  Here is a link to a page on this website where it is outlined how to practice making afterlife contact.  http://www.afterlife-knowledge.com/contact.html Vicky

Hi Vicky
I see you are a redhead like me, or the me of years gone by,I now have a head full of silver grey hairs

Sorry just a little chat to lighten up things a little

Alan

Hi Is it really death we fear or is it the complete extinction of life and consciouness that we fear when we finally die?

Blessings and Light+

Alan

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2010 at 1:15am:

Hi Is it really death we fear or is it the complete extinction of life and consciouness that we fear when we finally die? Blessings and Light+ Alan

That's always a good question. Myself and many of my peers are pretty content with the idea of losing consciousness in death. To just not exist period. That to me is not bad at all as having nothing, no fear, pain, worries, thoughts would be the absolution to peace in my opinion. If you have no consciousness at all, then what is there to fear? I was content with this idea until discovering ghosts and and reaching enlightened epiphanies which more or less just kind of disappointed me until I can be assured fear evaporates in death. Only then would death would be worth something.

Now on the other hand, if it was revealed to the world one day that death was the complete end of consciousness...it's difficult to imagine what that would be like. I see many people losing hope, I see suicide rates increasing, I see depression hitting pretty strong. Now from a natural selection standpoint you could say that all these people affected negatively are the weak and they simply die out, while people content with that idea of death and still willing to live and survive would be the generation to push things forward. Still...I don't see much of an increase in good things.

And that's what really brought some attention to me. IF there was no afterlife. If there was no point to our existence...then why should love even exist? Why should good things exist at all? Because that idea of having no hope or belief that there is something better than this world is an awful realization. And that is almost its own truth to proving a better world does exist. Because without it, this world would know chaos. It would be worse than it already it is. And in truth, looking at how my life is now and how it has turned out...if I remained to have nothing to believe in and I had not found the knowledge I have recently found I would be in a really bad place.

It is indeed scary to conceive consciousness after death. Only because we do not know of the greatness awaiting. All we know is THIS life. So when a person tries to imagine the Afterlife, they imagine consciousness similar to life here. Even if you believe that things are so much better, unless you have experienced for yourself you can't truly comprehend it. I think there's more fear of the unknown as opposed to just death in general.

Also one should consider the bright side of fearing death, which is maybe loving life despite the woes. I've had many misfortunes and I'm not a happy person, but I still have a desire to live. If a spirit came to me now and told me I could enter the better world I would decline. Because there's still a lot I want to do here. So my greatest fear of death would be to die before I was ever able to achieve love and happiness in this life.

StoneColdTrue wrote on Mar 23^rd, 2010 at 9:10pm:

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 23rd, 2010 at 1:15am: Hi Is it really death we fear or is it the complete extinction of life and consciouness that we fear when we finally die? Blessings and Light+ Alan That's always a good question. Myself and many of my peers are pretty content with the idea of losing consciousness in death. To just not exist period. That to me is not bad at all as having nothing, no fear, pain, worries, thoughts would be the absolution to peace in my opinion. If you have no consciousness at all, then what is there to fear? I was content with this idea until discovering ghosts and and reaching enlightened epiphanies which more or less just kind of disappointed me until I can be assured fear evaporates in death. Only then would death would be worth something. Now on the other hand, if it was revealed to the world one day that death was the complete end of consciousness...it's difficult to imagine what that would be like. I see many people losing hope, I see suicide rates increasing, I see depression hitting pretty strong. Now from a natural selection standpoint you could say that all these people affected negatively are the weak and they simply die out, while people content with that idea of death and still willing to live and survive would be the generation to push things forward. Still...I don't see much of an increase in good things. And that's what really brought some attention to me. IF there was no afterlife. If there was no point to our existence...then why should love even exist? Why should good things exist at all? Because that idea of having no hope or belief that there is something better than this world is an awful realization. And that is almost its own truth to proving a better world does exist. Because without it, this world would know chaos. It would be worse than it already it is. And in truth, looking at how my life is now and how it has turned out...if I remained to have nothing to believe in and I had not found the knowledge I have recently found I would be in a really bad place. It is indeed scary to conceive consciousness after death. Only because we do not know of the greatness awaiting. All we know is THIS life. So when a person tries to imagine the Afterlife, they imagine consciousness similar to life here. Even if you believe that things are so much better, unless you have experienced for yourself you can't truly comprehend it. I think there's more fear of the unknown as opposed to just death in general. Also one should consider the bright side of fearing death, which is maybe loving life despite the woes. I've had many misfortunes and I'm not a happy person, but I still have a desire to live. If a spirit came to me now and told me I could enter the better world I would decline. Because there's still a lot I want to do here. So my greatest fear of death would be to die before I was ever able to achieve love and happiness in this life.

Imagine having feared the idea of death all your life and bent your whole existence around the axle of self-loathing, hell, damnation and sin...a life not lived outside the prison of guilt, shame and fear.  Then imagine the possibility of the release of death and finding to your amazement that everything that you had feared does not exist and you are in absolute bliss.  The extent of your control over the actual outcome of your life is absolutely the same as if you lived that life without fear or concern for what might come.      

Interestingly, for this conversation I just had a past life meditation in which I died in a car crash at the age of 17 in 1905.  I felt no fear of dying before and had thought I was invincible, so my death was a surprise.  I did feel fear for my sister and friends who were hurt in the car I drove and for the fact that I could not help.  I soon followed the light and found that I had planned, together with the others, to leave early and it was a choice made in our prelife planning to benefit all involved. 

Likewise, in my current life I never had any fear of death, either early or late.  As a young fool I was absolutely bullet-proof (read "protected") and was fortunate enough to realize my "luck" was beyond my doing...as a young adult, I was a little circumspect, and got out of the way of stuff that looked bad as it was coming toward me...later on I could feel the bad stuff from far away and just steered clear...in the past decade I seem to pick and choose what I have to deal with...some of it bad, some not so bad, and some downright fantastic...but it is almost a choice at this point.  I feel the nudge or the sense of challenge and I pull a situation off the conveyor belt as it passes by and deal with it and its ramifications.  All the possibilities are planned and the free will we all have is in choosing what we are going to experience.  I simply follow the clues.

Stone

Your last post was very profound so profound that you should create your own blog and posts and upload your incisive thinking there.

Word of wisdom are immortal don't you think

Blessings and Light

Alan

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 24^th, 2010 at 2:30am:

Stone Your last post was very profound so profound that you should create your own blog and posts and upload your incisive thinking there. Word of wisdom are immortal don't you think Blessings and Light Alan

I have thought a bit about doing this and have considered it. I've just been meditating about what I want to post about. I have a blog that no one besides me has ever read before and it's interesting to look at because I made it for my depression and it has so many upset and negative thoughts throughout it. It's amazing to see the transition of where I was from the beginning of it and where I am now.

I have some threads in mind and I'll more than likely get started on one tomorrow because I do have much to share from my head.

Hello Dariks, **welcome to the board**

I feel what u are having is a "wake up" call. You "thinking" of "death" is causing you to search for answers and explainations. It seems as if your soul is trying to remind you of what you truely are and by "scaring you to death" is the only way you are beginning to look at the option that there is no death, so its really "scaring you to life".  ;)

Keep searching and digging for the information. >> YOU WILL FIND IT.  :)

Hugs,
Nanner

StoneColdTrue wrote on Mar 24^th, 2010 at 3:28am:

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 24th, 2010 at 2:30am: Stone Your last post was very profound so profound that you should create your own blog and posts and upload your incisive thinking there. Word of wisdom are immortal don't you think Blessings and Light Alan I have thought a bit about doing this and have considered it. I've just been meditating about what I want to post about. I have a blog that no one besides me has ever read before and it's interesting to look at because I made it for my depression and it has so many upset and negative thoughts throughout it. It's amazing to see the transition of where I was from the beginning of it and where I am now. I have some threads in mind and I'll more than likely get started on one tomorrow because I do have much to share from my head.

Do you suffer from bipolar depression like me? Many great men were also suffers and used the manic phase as a driving force.

I have put my article on another forum that describes my Battle with this disordered. I firmly believe that many manic depressives  like me or you, are also very psychic

Blessings and light

Alan

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 24^th, 2010 at 4:59am:

StoneColdTrue wrote on Mar 24th, 2010 at 3:28am: Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 24th, 2010 at 2:30am: Stone Your last post was very profound so profound that you should create your own blog and posts and upload your incisive thinking there. Word of wisdom are immortal don't you think Blessings and Light Alan I have thought a bit about doing this and have considered it. I've just been meditating about what I want to post about. I have a blog that no one besides me has ever read before and it's interesting to look at because I made it for my depression and it has so many upset and negative thoughts throughout it. It's amazing to see the transition of where I was from the beginning of it and where I am now. I have some threads in mind and I'll more than likely get started on one tomorrow because I do have much to share from my head. Do you suffer from bipolar depression like me? Many great men were also suffers and used the manic phase as a driving force. I have put my article on another forum that describes my Battle with this disordered. I firmly believe that many manic depressives  like me or you, are also very psychic Blessings and light Alan

I don't think it's bipolar or manic. The psychiatrist seemed to diagnose it as clinical depression which does run in my family and attributes I know to my uncle and my aunt on my mother's side.

So I'm not really sure what it is. I've been prescribed different antidepressants to take and I don't take a single one. I understand they may be able to help but I don't believe they are a solution. I've suffered though this for awhile on my own all the while dealing with several misfortunes, suicide thoughts, immature and unsupportive friends, a complete lack of a love/sex life, and then an arrest on top of it which furthered stress. But somehow I've managed to battle it all without medication or support.

All of this is what led me here in the first place. I got to a point where I really needed to understand my life and I needed to find myself and why the hell I even exist in the first place. Why I was capable of accessing thoughts that I personally know no one else to share. Then my reflections on experiences with spirits and the effects of drugs really fueled a desire to want to understand. I spent several weeks in anxiety, confusion, and fear of death.

But I'm a fighter and I've made it far enough to know that my strength and my ability to think and reason is part of great purpose. All of my struggles are a necessity to reach that understanding. I will reflect more on this in a separate thread. But while I haven't attempted access to any psychic abilities I do now understand that a part of me knows a truth that it's waiting for me to access.

I thought a little more about this today Alan. Though I don't experience it as much these days, a lot of the year 2009 I went through many mood swings. Sometimes I would feel pits of despair. Sometimes I would feel extreme rage. It consumed me. It got pretty intense at times. But I held strong. I avoided the medications.

I think I see now that these disorders can be sustained by you alone. If you have the will to fight it. If you have the will and the desire to live and continue with your life I think in time it subsides as that is what has happened with me. It's still there but it only pokes me now rather than slapping me in the face. Maybe those struggles are essential to pulling us back to the truth. To conquer them brings more strength. I have never looked to god to solve my problems. I have never trusted in faith to get me through. My faith is inside me. I trust myself to prevail. I am the source of my life so it is through me I understand and find the wisdom and strength.

StoneColdTrue wrote on Mar 24^th, 2010 at 5:35pm:

I thought a little more about this today Alan. Though I don't experience it as much these days, a lot of the year 2009 I went through many mood swings. Sometimes I would feel pits of despair. Sometimes I would feel extreme rage. It consumed me. It got pretty intense at times. But I held strong. I avoided the medications. I think I see now that these disorders can be sustained by you alone. If you have the will to fight it. If you have the will and the desire to live and continue with your life I think in time it subsides as that is what has happened with me. It's still there but it only pokes me now rather than slapping me in the face. Maybe those struggles are essential to pulling us back to the truth. To conquer them brings more strength. I have never looked to god to solve my problems. I have never trusted in faith to get me through. My faith is inside me. I trust myself to prevail. I am the source of my life so it is through me I understand and find the wisdom and strength.

There are different types of depression, Reactive when you are depressed because of a whole lot of negatives and unresolved issue come into play

The other is clinical depression where you are depressed for no obvious reason. This type of depression really requires medication, the last kind of depression is what I have namely; bipolar disorder which I have but thank god I am now well balanced thanks to amazing drugs that enable me to function normally

Blessing and light
Alan

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 25^th, 2010 at 1:39am:

StoneColdTrue wrote on Mar 24th, 2010 at 5:35pm: I thought a little more about this today Alan. Though I don't experience it as much these days, a lot of the year 2009 I went through many mood swings. Sometimes I would feel pits of despair. Sometimes I would feel extreme rage. It consumed me. It got pretty intense at times. But I held strong. I avoided the medications. I think I see now that these disorders can be sustained by you alone. If you have the will to fight it. If you have the will and the desire to live and continue with your life I think in time it subsides as that is what has happened with me. It's still there but it only pokes me now rather than slapping me in the face. Maybe those struggles are essential to pulling us back to the truth. To conquer them brings more strength. I have never looked to god to solve my problems. I have never trusted in faith to get me through. My faith is inside me. I trust myself to prevail. I am the source of my life so it is through me I understand and find the wisdom and strength. There are different types of depression, Reactive when you are depressed because of a whole lot of negatives and unresolved issue come into play The other is clinical depression where you are depressed for no obvious reason. This type of depression really requires medication, the last kind of depression is what I have namely; bipolar disorder which I have but thank god I am now well balanced thanks to amazing drugs that enable me to function normally Blessing and light Alan

I think I have reactive and clinical. I've known depression for as long as I can remember. I do recall thoughts and even talk of suicide when I was 12. At 15 I was very confused and angry as most teenagers are, but I was lonely and sad most often. I finally discovered a group of friends at 16 and it was like finding a family. I felt like I was home. I remain with those friends today despite many troubles we are still all very close.

I admit there are several things in my life I was unhappy with which I believe spurred a reactive depression but I have always done well to suppress it. It was last year I would feel very random bits of depression without reason. This continues today but its not nearly to the extreme. My biggest discovery was finding that it greatly increases if I am not busy. My worst moments were last summer when I was on break from school, and this past December when I was on fall break from school. If I have things in my life to focus on and keep to my responsibilities it gets a little easier. I admit I truly miss marijuana. It was the only medication I trusted.

Stone, 

Maybe you should try normal plants in your life, I mean like vegetables.  It's amazing what a healthy organic diet can do for your state of mind.  How old are you, anyway?

Alan McDougall wrote on Mar 12^th, 2010 at 1:44am:

seeking_answers wrote on Mar 12th, 2010 at 1:15am: Hi dirks, about ur fear of dying....trust me i was crippled with it...but then again what other option do u have?...Whether or not an afterlife exists...is another question...the question is...would u know it when u die?...chances r not..unless u happen to be tortured by someone to death...dont fear death... The real fear of death is the idea that after you die you simply cease to exist. AS a person once clinically dead I can assure you the essential you, your awareness and unique consciousness simply continues to exist usually in a much more beautiful place Blessings and  Light Uncle Alan

Yes Alan, it can be a wondrous place, but it can also be a horrendous hell. No need to go early. There will be plenty of seats to go around.

Calypso wrote on Mar 25^th, 2010 at 11:15am:

Stone,  Maybe you should try normal plants in your life, I mean like vegetables.  It's amazing what a healthy organic diet can do for your state of mind.  How old are you, anyway?

I eat fairly well. I usually take vitamins and minerals just to back up for the days I don't have time to eat enough. Physical exercise and weight lifting is of course also very valuable. I am 23.