Lori, I think you must make the decision right now that you will not drive in that state of anger anymore. If you find yourself angry in your car you must pull off the road in a safe place, in a public place, and sit until you feel calm. Have some music, or just talk to someone in a coffeeshop, anything. I don't think it matters where you would be going at the time, but I really think we all need to realize when we are taking risks and may not have our minds set on what is most important. That was a close call, so maybe you were very justified in feeling angry, and needed the space to do it safely.

Welcome, just my 2 cents of the moment

By the way, I stopped driving a car a few months ago, and now walk, bike and bus. Don't really miss it so much.

Yeah I agree I'm not justifying flipping someone off for cutting me off in traffic. I admit it was wrong.  Although the other driver clearly could care less for my safety I had no business giving him the finger. 

Well, I didn't mean to give you a lecture or anything. I just felt strongly about it because I can remember getting very mad at someone while driving once. I had been under a lot of stress and I had been criticized heavily in a relationship. I was trying to get out of a parking garage across a lane of traffic, and was dependent on others allowing me to cut across a lane to get into the right one. Well, there I am, sitting between lanes of traffic on a one-way street, minding my own business, really. Along comes a lady on a bicycle and she SCREAMS at me right into my face in the window as she's whizzing by that I am a b----(insert b-word) who is in HER bicycle lane. I was so shocked and my hackles immediately rose. I was incredulous later at how instantly enraged I became. The light turned green and I merged into traffic and I actually caught up with this lady on her bicycle. i drove right behind her, angry, fuming. She represented everyone who ever treated me wrong, apparently. I was breathing down her neck in my car. I realized then that I was actually insane. That was a crazy thing to do, to even BEGIN to use my car in such a way. She was completely unaware of me, because I didn't actually threaten her in any way. But I was behind her, and I was not thinking clearly.

So, no, that is not why I don't drive anymore. But i remember this incident for what it was. I know I've stepped on the gas a little harder once in a while in my life, when frustrated, when angry.

So, I am just unfurling the big 'caution' sign. I think this world we live in moves so fast that we don't often have enough time to think about what we are doing. But, we have to make time anyway. I guess.

Walking, riding a bike, being part of a community riding a bus. These are activities which help me feel more part of this world, with the wind on my cheek and the sounds of the natural world around me. I didn't realize how much I missed these things.

Ask me again how I feel in January. Maybe I'll toughen up a little. It doesn't get too cold here, where I am. Just lucky I guess.