Ok so even though I don't really have any certainty on anything I attempted to communicate with the deceased.

I can't prove that the messages are from her or from me though....
Q will be what I say
A will be the answer.

Q. I love you. I love you so much. I miss you.
A. (felt like crying, felt love.)

Q. Do I have to die?
A. Yes.

Q. Can I live longer? Longer than anyone? Maybe almost two life times? So I can experience more.
A. Maybe, it's possible.

Q. Can I choose to leave my body now?
A. (response took a while as if It was being debated?) It's possible to leave your body before your time but only if you are completely certain it is what you want. A single doubt and it cannot happen.

Then I know that I couldn't leave with my wife and parents alive. I think if my wife and parents, all that are dear to me were gone, I could choose to leave. I think only then could I make that choice completely.


So any thoughts? I am very skeptic as everyone should know.... I am pretty sure this is all just made up in my head.

Hi,

Not knowing who the "her" is, I'm assuming you wanted to contact someone specific who has died.  It is just my theory (from my own personal experience), but I think that sometimes you can't just assume you had contact with that person unless and until you yourself has proof that makes you believe it.  It doesn't even have to be proof that seems logical, it just has to be something that makes YOU believe it. 

When I'm not sure of the above (in my own experiences), then I consider the possibility of whether I am just making the whole thing up, or whether the answers might be coming from my higher self, or I even consider the possibility that it is coming from the other person's higher self.  All of those are possibilities, but again, you are the only one who can decide that.  I decide it by time and practice and getting a feeling for what I believe. 

One way that you might want to consider in determining which of the above is true for you, is when you have the sort of experience that you described, think about if you had the familiar feelings of that person, like feeling their spirit, energy, presence, etc. 

I once practiced contact with someone I knew to be recently deceased, and even after the conversation was over I still wasn't too sure I hadn't made the whole thing up but not realizing it.  But then I did realize, too, that before I could even formulate and finish asking each question, the answers were already coming at me, so fast that I felt interrupted.  So you start to notice little strange signs that tell you what you believe is real or you're making it up. 

Of course, any real verification is key, that's what we want and need.  I just don't always get real verification in all my experiences, so I still practice and study them and see what I can learn from each one. 

In any case, I would say to keep practicing and writing it down, writing down your thoughts and feelings about it.  Everyone needs practice, and like I'm learning about myself, you'll learn what works for you and how you operate.  You'll one day run into an experience that tells you without a doubt that you are NOT making it up, and you'll have other experiences to compare those findings to.  In that way, you will have created a sort of standard for yourself, and your future experiences will fit into that framework of belief, expectation, knowledge, and ability. 

What a great, informative reply, Vicky. I always learn from you. I agree, keep doing it and checking to see what you can verify to get a feel for your results as you record your experiences. It's very interesting to look at them later on down the road.

hi terethin the one thing i learned in circle and from mediums is that when you talk to a dead person if they answer you in your mind straight away then the spirit is talking to you, but if there is 2or3 seconds before the spirit answers then it is your own sub concioucous answering for you.

Love and God bless   love juditha

Hi Vicky.

Here's a very curve ball, one which may even be a little offensive to some. One observation that is sometimes made about contact with the deceased is that it seems to rarely if ever deliver knowledge or information about higher realities.

Now perhaps this view is wrong, that some of you can quote good examples to the opposite effect.

But it makes me wonder, especially given the Buddhist view that the afterlife is just as much a part of Samsara or the relative world as physical life, and that it's inhabitants are subject to the same drives, beliefs and perceptions/mis-perceptions as in normal life.

I wonder too about the relative and time based nature of this sort of experience, and the seeming fact that somewhere along the line between death and rebirth we shed our previous personality. (presuming that re-incarnation has validity this is pretty evident from what we observe in this life)

I can't help feeling that at best when we make contact we're reaching people prior to this dissolution, or that if not then maybe we're even contacting 'personality shells' long since vacated by the original owner which continue in some sort of pseudo existence.

I've been through this with a psychic who hugely  convincingly described my grandfather in an afterlife scenario that included lots of the stuff he had been interested in/had had in his earlier life, and even described him physically. He did seem to have an interest in how we were getting on in this life, but absolutely nothing came across regarding his own direction and it was all a bit of a set piece scenario.

Place in the background the view that what is real about us is an aspect of God/higher mind that is timeless and inseparable from other beings, and you have to wonder - has the watcher/knower moved on, leaving the vehicle abandoned???? And if so, where is it gone and what is the scheme that determines  things at that level??? Can we access this higher non relative realm at all? (i think we probably can, but don't make much sense of it)

This higher self seems usually to find his/her/their way back into rebirth, but where is it in the interval? If it somehow has managed to drop its attachment to selfhood it presumably may simply move on beyond the relative, but if it has not it presumably having floated around for a while in a disembodied state just goes on to pick up a new vehicle (drawn by it's identification with the body as the basis of selfhood) at rebirth.

This is significant, because if it's remotely true there are much higher powers/realities running the whole cycle of life, death and rebirth (ACIM says that this is the ego, in this case the collective ego of which we are largely unconscious; Buddhism sometimes anthromorphises it into the demon Yama), and most of the afterlife beings we contact are unknowing participants blinded by their perceptions (the result of their beliefs) caught  in this system.

If this is the case, then in turn there are presumably higher non-dual realities outside of this of which we are almost completely unaware (and when we become even slightly aware of them we can't make sense of them anyway) leading back eventually to unity, God and the absolute.

I don't have a clear view as to what the picture might be, but i do feel that the 'afterlife' that we contact is probably a mind created realm (sustained by the beliefs of those that believe in it) that is just as separated from the higher realities as we are in normal life, and that if the higher self is still present in those we contact that their beliefs leave them so identified with this realm and with physical and relative self-hood that they don't function as higher  beings - that they perceive only the lower and relative reality, and are at best only slightly aware (as is the case in this life) of their higher nature, and of where they truly belong...

Interesting. This story doesn't really relate to the 'afterlife' so much because the people involved are alive. However, I am personally convinced that we each 'know' much more than we think we do, or allow ourselves to believe we do. I think this comes out in dream imagery sometimes. What came to mind for me is a time that I reunited with an old friend. It had been many years since I had seen this person. In a journal which I dragged out I read an account of a dream I had many years earlier, involving this person. It was extremely vivid. In my description I described this person's previous wife very accurately, someone whom I had never met. This dream seemed to 'foreshadow' the event of our later reunion. Although I have very limited understanding of how all this works, I do believe there is some kind of permanent 'template' (for lack of better word) which exists and is available if we can 'hook into' it. I don't know how far 'back' or 'forward' it 'runs' but it feels real to me.

T, this is my experience.   After my fiance died, I spoke with two mediums.   And I also believe very much so that he was earth bound for around two months with me.   Lots of experiences with that one, I can assure you.  As a reminder our motorcycle accident killed him instantly...

But to get to the conversations.  I always just spoke to my Scott.  All day long, just would talk to him and I would hear responses,  but like you, i was confused, and believed it was me just answering for him.   But one particular day, all that changed.

I was driving on i-4 here in Orlando.  And as I was driving i was doing my everyday conversations, just chatting away and hearing him...or me talk right back.  then something different happened.  He says to me, honey slow down, there is an accident up ahead.  And i was like...oh ok,  and he said, no honey, slow way down, you are going to come to a complete stop up here around the corner.   again,  i am thinking sure...hmmm, ok.....,   as i came around the corner, the traffic wasn't stopped,  and i said..ok, so its not you.  and he said, would you wait a second, its stopping.  and sure enough and i came out of the curve of the road, traffic was stopped dead.    ok, so this wasnt enough for me.  I said really, oh what seems to be the problem?   Because the traffic was backed up and i couldn't see what side the accident was on, because it is 4 lanes and i couldn't tell yet.   So he replies..."Oh, just a little fender bender up on the left".   And i said, oh ok....still not believing i was talking to him.  so about 5 minutes of bumper to bumper i see one of those road side assistance trucks and it had a big flashing arrow pointing to move to the right lanes.  So, i thought it was just road work,  so again,  i think, ok, not him talking to me, this is road work, not an accident.  But as i got closer, sure enough,  a car with not much wrong with it.  so i went hmmmm,  that pretty amazing... one the traffic came to a complete stand still, he knew it was on the left side of the road, and that it was a fender bender.

so, i thought, well lets take this a little further,   i said Scott,  as you know, I am on my way to meet my son,  what color shirt will he be wearing.... and he laughed and he said, it will be blue Carla.   so i got to my destination to meet my son, and there he was wearing a blue shirt.    so ok,  maybe something is going on.   

As i leave the event,  i am driving and talking to him again,  and I said Scott, if this is you, i want to hear a song on the radio and i want to hear it now before i get home (which would be in about 10 minutes) i wanted to make sure that the song would not play just sometime during the day...i wanted it to happen now.  and it is a song that is not a song that plays a lot,  it was our song.    so he says "I can make that happen"  now,  I was married to a DJ,  I know they play songs in rotations and they have a schedule they follow when it comes to songs...so I thought what i was asking was impossible.   

But as I sat at the red light, i got on my cell to call my best friend and tell her of the events.  Every-time i called, i would get this error message come up,(never happened before)  after 4 attempts, i put my phone down and turned my radio back on...because I had turned it off in my thoughts that i would be speaking to my g/f on the phone and wanted to hear her.  so after not being able to reach my g/f i, turned the radio on, and as i did so,  the "Song" started playing.   And i started crying.  And Scott said to me,  its not suppose to make you cry.... And I said, I am crying because i realize i am talking to you...i am really talking to you.  And he said, yes baby, its me,  I told you.  now quit crying and drive safely.   So I said, Scott,  i can't remember where the SunBank is and I got to go the post office, which way should I go.  And he said,  "honey, the bank is in the same parking lot as the post office."  and me, being the blond that I am, started laughing...because he was right.   So then he said, when you get to the post office you are going to meet a gentleman.  And i said... "oh really?  i don't care to meet anyone"  and he said, well you will.  So i still chat away,  and I go to the post office.   and I fill out a change of address card, and an older gentlemen asked me a question,  and then I ended up standing in line for him, because physically it was hard for him to stand, so I got his stamps because he was mailing a letter to Italy.  And we spoke a little while longer and as I walked out the door,  my Scott said...."I told you, you were going to meet a gentleman in the post office"  and I busted out laughing.      

So that was the first day of knowing that indeed i was talking to my sweetie.   

Now,  the difference is,  listen for their mannerisms, words they would use, not necessarily your words.  Ask them to predict a small event, like what is the next color of a car you are going to see,  something like that.   Even now,  Scott usually firms up his messages to me, by telling me i will see this or that,  the other day after telling me that my b/f new grandchild would be a boy...he followed up with, when you stop at the gas station, you will see a mercedes benz in the front of the parking lot, it will not be getting gas, but it will be there before you pull out.  So sure enough, I pull in, it is not there, but when i start my car and look up to the front of the store, there now was a mercedes benz parked there, when just a few minutes before there was not.     So it is the little things they will tell you..or ask them to show you something,  they will, they can see the future and will tell you about it, as long as it doesn't interfere in your lifes paths.  Or at least that is what I believe.

And he does tell me things about the after life.  not a whole lot of details, somethings he says he can't tell me and those things I will experience.  But he says this or that about stuff, and he has met people i know,  specially my mom,....and that was really funny.  so  I am content in my belief that it is him, because  I certainly don't know when i am going to see a mercedes benz, or a pink chopper, or a rainbow.  Or what someones test results or going to be,  or what someone ate for lunch.   Sometimes just silly stuff, sometimes more important things.  Or again,  I am completely nuts and which case...i just stay completely nuts.  Because I can't say how much happiness it brings me to talk to him or when he brings someone in, who wants to get a message to someone.   i love that I can do this.  And they way i hear it, it is like talking on a cell phone, i talk, he talks, sometimes he tells me to wait and to listen what he saying because i still go off like he is here and yell even at him for something...and then I laugh, and he laughs, and I tell him even in death he can't escape me being bitchy!

Chantilly_

I really enjoyed reading your story and find it very touching that you can still communicate with your fiance.

WOW... ;)

Thank you Supermodel...   As I have said often,  I was not going to let death come between us.   I have so many incidents, mostly every other day...something happens that is pretty darn amazing.  I probably should start writing them down.  So much has happened.  It has been only 18 months since he completed his journey here on earth...it is unfortunate I wasn't ready for him to be done.  He tells me, that in our previoius life that he found me at the bottom of a cliff after missing for several days.  And that he had to learn to live without me.  He may have answered my question as to why I have always had such a fear of falling.   I can't stand to even see someone stand near an edge or balcony...my stomach turns completely over and the fear of falling is so great.   I am not sure this is a reason, but it makes sense to me.