i married 2 years ago, my husband lost his 1st wife after 34 yrs of marriage, i beg the question, in an afterlife, would he be with her, me, or both of us, i have the greatest respect for his love for her, and his memory of her, but i also feel sad that our time together may be in this life only

My personal belief is that in 'heaven' we are innocent, and that there is an experience of an abundance of love when we cross over, and that it is a love beyond all earthly love. I believe we can be reunited with our loved ones, in the best possible way. It is a place of eternal youth and joy and beauty. All of our needs are fulfilled -- and that means all of them -- in unexpected ways.

So, if your heart stays in the high places, you'll find happiness there. That is what I choose to believe, and I don't find it seriously contradicted anywhere.

I think you need to look at it this way. The afterlife is not like this one, the same rules do not apply there as here.  If your husband had two wives at the same time he would be called a bigamist, he wouldn't be able to have the time to devote to both relationships, it would be a bad thing.

The afterlife as I imagine it is totally different Not only can he be with you both, he will have plenty of time to do it, on top of that he may be with his wives and loves from previous lives, as would you.

The connections we have now and have had change, they become less important than they are now, but at the same time they become much much stronger.

thanks guys, my belief has always been pretty much the same as yours, however he was ill, and hospitalised this week, and fear and pain caused me to doubt, it was a question his late wife asked also, prior to her passing, arent we fragile!!

Yes, quochick, we are fragile indeed, but that is not all we are. It's hard to say who will be there when we 'arrive'. One time, in meditation, it seemed that a crowd was there; but, another time, it was just a lowly 'receptionist' who was the first greeter that I saw in a given situation. I've seen a man in heaven on his own homestead in the country, as if in another century. He liked being mostly alone, and being visited infrequently. It was all arranged for him. "God" even talked to him, from the sky, right into his own head. :)

I think it is, indeed, possible that we have multiple 'selves' in the afterlife, each with different likes and dislikes, different past experiences, etc.

I used to think that my own personality was quite fixed at one point in my life. I would never have imagined that it could change so radically, that I could change so radically. If we are as creative as we must be, as resourceful as human beings must be...it would not surprise me at all if 'heaven' turns out to be quite the fantastic place.

Anything and everything is possible there, as far as I can tell. The most consistent message I have received, if true, indicates that this area is an incredibly comforting and nurturing place. What lies 'beyond' it I do not know. But there are plenty of opportunities to be 'alone' too, if that is one's preference. In the great 'out there'.

Jesus directly addresses this.  Before anyone here attacks Christianity, at least give Jesus a shot at explanation.

23 That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question.  24 “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him.  25 Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother.  26 The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh.  27 Finally, the woman died.  28 Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”

29 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.  30 At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.  31 But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you,  32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’a? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”

33 When the crowds heard this, they were astonished at his teaching.

Quote:

in an afterlife, would he be with her, me, or both of us,

Well, he most likely has strong connections with both of you.  Bonds of this nature this reach far beyond the physical level, and usually form way before one's physical life.  I feel that in the afterlife he will be with both of you.  And not just the two of you, of course... the three of you may be part of a much larger soul group of like energies.  You may die and realize that although you had such a strong bond with him in this life, you hold an even stronger bond with another soul.  Whatever the case may be, it is nothing to worry about.  

I am with OOBD. You will shair "there" with all of those you love. (as long as you also shair the same beliefs)
The institution of "marriage" is of less importance to that of the experience of love. In fact both of you women may be far closer spiritually than you may think. Both loving and experiencing love of this one being. He is a lucky man to have the experience of love from the two of you. I will bet that you are also happy for him experiencing the love of his first wife. And I will also bet you already know her from lives long past. He may well have needed to experience the loss of the first to then experience the healing love of you sharing your life with him. A lucky man indeed.