Greetings,

In daily life my family and I are in the process of getting my dieing father into hospice care. He is at the stage where he will not eat or drink.
So --
This morning I dreamt that my husband was wearing my father's hat and was on the phone with someone speaking somberly. In the same room were  two men, a father and son, who were discussing their business, a grocery store. I was just starting to get angry at them all for what I considered their lack of respect for my father when I woke up.
As I awoke the name of the grocery store owners flashed in my mind; it was a real store that closed about fifty years ago, called Haddad and Son.  Had Dad.

Later this morning I checked e-mail and found my brother had sent a 'progress report' on my dad at the very same time as my dream. When I got over the synchronicity/direct transmission of dream and e-mail, I decided the pun of the grocers' names was meant to be humorous, to lighten a grave situation. But in running that idea past my higher consciousness it indicated no humor was intended.

If I had translated the dream very directly, I would have expected to find my father had passed away at that time. However it was meant to be translated more 'loosely.'

What I am trying to share here is the lesson I learned that there was not a point-by-point correlation between dream and reality. (I guess.) It's more that there is an interaction where events 'play' with symbols, rather than a 'code' that can be broken into. No code, but rather a series of images that involve separate connections to the theme.

-- Does that sound right?  :-?

Bets

Symbolism is an important way of communication with "others" who may not be "in body". That does not mean that they are necessarily dead. An example could be your father. I am sure you have heard of Focus 23. An area that was described by Monroe in which many person still "in body" hang out in. Many of them in a coma or drug induced state, to mention two possibilities. There are many other ways to "be" there. Is your father "with it"? Collected, mind wise I mean? I know this is personal but...what are your intentions for your father? Are you intending to tube feed him or force fed him? Let him go? I am wondering if it is an attempt at communication from him to you. I don't know, to tell you that there is no need for you to worry about him having food there? He can always just go to the store if he wants. If the store has been gone for 50 years it could be more of his memories than yours.
Joe  

Dear Bets,

I'm sending out loving thoughts to help light the way for you and your Dad and family. And feathers and prayers for comfort.

Your dream is interesting, and the name connection. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "events 'play' with symbols," but it makes sense that we each have a unique way to work with and understand our dreams, kind of like a self-directed research. And yes, I see my dreams play with symbols to give insight into events.

That said, if this were my dream, I'd consider the possibility that this may be a  glimpse of my Dad and my brother communicating about what is "in store". Also, does "50 years ago" bring anything to mind? Did something happen then between Dad and son? Or between me and Dad and son/brother?

Love, Carolyn

I just read Joe's post, and it makes sense that the symbol of the grocery store that closed could reflect that idea that your Dad is no longer eating or drinking.

Thank you so much Dreamer, Identcat, and Hawkeye !

I was barely skimming the surface of that, wasn't I ?!
No wonder my HS was concerned when I just emphasized the pun.
All your comments make perfect sense.

Focus 23 is absolutely appropriate, Joe. My Dad has had several strokes and I've had previous experiences over the last two years showing that he's leeft us in stages already. At this point he speaks like a broken record except to make clear his will that no means beyond common decency be used to prolong his life.

Yes, Carolyn, you are so right. I'm trying to figure ouat how to deal with what you've shown me.
You too, Dreamer.
You're all amazing.

Many thanks and much PUL,
Bets

My Mothers choice also...
I wish him well on his journeys and you with your loss that may have already started. If there becomes a time that you feel you or he needs comfort in the transition, let me suggest the "Going Home" series from TMI. From what I understand, they can be an excellent way in assisting both sides. I feel your love for him.
For me, I feel comforted that my mother is finally almost at the end of her journey. I am happy for her to be ready to go to her home and leave this lesson behind. That's not to say there is no feelings of loss, just that the love and knowledge that the All of her has learned and loved of this world.That's far more important. When I told her of how hard I thought her lessons of life were, she made it very clear that hers was a good life and she would not have changed it for "all the tea in China". She taught me a very important lesson that day. A lesson of love of life, of her life, and all what I thought to be downfalls, were in fact uplifting lessons of love for her.
I recall when my Dad died after a extremely lengthy stay at a misguided long term care home. He had been there for a number of years slowly getting worse and worse after a devastating heart attack. He was close to the end when I want into see him one time. Mother had been there and was on her way out . The pressure was obviously getting to her by that time. I went in to see him and their he was lying there, death rasping. Looking the shell of the man I new as my Dad. I talked to him. Not to his body, but to him. I knew even then that he was more than his phyical body. This was some years ago when I was only about 15 or so. I am now 50. I told him it was about time to let it go, to leave his broken body behind and move on to bigger and better things. That if he wanted to reincarnate he could and that I loved him, and that I knew he loved me. I told him to say his good byes to mom and go. Well I ended up leaving and Mom returned to his room. Later that night he dropped his body. Its hard to express how overjoyed I was at his dying. Happy to have him leave his old worsening, screwed up body behind for a chance at a new beginning. I never cried at his funeral. I know he wouldn't have wanted me to feel grief. On his trips between F23 and C1 I managed to communicate with him. We new it was time.
   
Joe

You are a wise soul,
Dear Hawkeye.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

PUL

Bets

Hi Bets, just add my reflection on HadDad. the whole family had dad in his role as dad.
in this sense, he gave his life to you guys, and this symbol does lighten your heart in a sense.

I think in terms of song lyrics these days. humor me:

It's not wanting what you got
it's wanting what you have.

this lightens  me up. same thing I had to do when Mike died, was to reflect what he had given me. I had been judging him for dying of alcoholism at 42. going obe showed me, it was his choice to leave this way. I had to lighten up. I "had" him. I told him, ok, it's my prob. I eventually saw, I was really lucky to have him. He was a kind and gentle soul. never met anyone like him, and probably won't again until I get home.

anyhoo, haddad, is a great play on words. chuckling over it. and what in store, that's another great play on words.

my dreams are always doing this sort of thing. makes me work to understand myself. love, alysia

Bets--- I know that your dad will pass with great ease, as my father did.
You have me (Carol Ann) and Carolyn confused, but you were sent to me for a reason. I forwarded you my "story". In there you will find a section about my dad, who also died from cancer. He was only given 2 weeks to live, and he continued his journey here on earth another 4 years from that date.
One of his OBE's while doing hospice at home was: He found himself in an all green room with pillars to the cealing. Across the room, he saw my Mother (his wife) and kept calling to her. He couldn't reach her.  

When he told the story to my mother, she became aggitated and said, Well, I'm here right now".  

I interurrped it thusly: Green the is heart color in the chakra system.  The all green room represented his love for my mother. The pillars holding up the cealing was himself who held up my mother for so many years.  His calling out to her but not able to find her (although he could see her in the room) and not reach her was his spirit trying to tell her that he would soon be leaving but he knew she wouldn't understand the interpertation.  

I was very understanding of my father's dream, but my mother never grasped the meaning.  I had a wonderful last week with my father and he shared many spiritual thoughts with me.  When he passed, he simply said to Mama, "I can't do this anymore" and took one last breath and passed very peacefully.  He had told me a couple of days before that he saw two angels who where waiting for him.  I told him the next time they come for him, go. He did.  

I still talk to him almost every day. I FEEL him often and occasionally, I have a dream in which he talks to me.  It is difficult to say our goodbyes, but I know in my heart that his spirit is always with me.

I pray that your dad will be as blessed as mine. Love Carol Ann (aka cat)

Bets --Here is what I wrote in another post:

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 Re: What does this dream mean?
Reply #4 - Jun 11th, 2008, 9:22am    Marry--- that is a wonderful suggestion.  I remember I had a book years ago on dream interpretation and found it useful.  I didn't follow it to the letter, however.  We are able to interpret dreams several ways:
1. Symbolic --- what do the symbols mean to us as individuals?  Example --when I dream of water, I find it to represent the spirit. Someone who is afraid of water may interpret it as danger.
2.  Fantasy--- I may interpret water in a fantasy as representing playfulness and freedom, splashing around and having fun.  Another person may say that it's treading through the water to get to a quest.
3.  Reality--- perhaps I filled my pool today in the back yard and then dreamt about the water that night because of the actually chore of filling the pool.  I love water, so I see it as clear and healthy. Another person may see it as dark and needs to be cleaned.

A dream interpretation book can help with a lot of answers.  I have a book on animal symbols : Ted Andrews-- The Animal Speak Book-- and it has been wonderfully helpful to me.  

Thanks for sharing!!!  cat


Bets--- I hope this will also help with interpretating your dream.  Perhaps you look up to your brother with respect as you do your father. Perhaps the store owner had a friendship with your dad (Had with Dad ) or someone else who has passed and is waiting to greet your dad when he is ready.

"In daily life my family and I are in the process of getting my dieing father into hospice care. He is at the stage where he will not eat or drink. " Perhaps some of your anger is becauseyou are not able to feed him any longer. [color=#00ff00][/color]
"So --
This morning I dreamt that my husband was wearing my father's hat ( could represent your husband replacing your dad when he passes) and was on the phone with someone speaking somberly. (Husband is being somber because of the love and respect he has for your dad)  In the same room were  two men, a father and son, who were discussing their business, a grocery store. ( This would be your family business that must be taken care of -- if not now -- when your dad passes. Usually, someone in the family will disagree with something said or done, therefore you felt it was disrespectful).
I was just starting to get angry at them all for what I considered their lack of respect for my father when I woke up.
As I awoke the name of the grocery store owners flashed in my mind; it was a real store that closed about fifty years ago, called Haddad and Son.  Had Dad.  Had Dad --- I explained in the above post.
 I send my love and prayers to you and your family.  I keep sending out "green" colors as they represent the heart chakra. Keep us informed as all of your family here in Bruce's forum care about you very dearly.  Hugs and Love-- Carol Ann (cat)