So yeah. I joined this forum because i think i went crazy or something one night. I was sitting with a friend... smoking pot (dont want to hear any drug free nonsense it is a rare thing i do) and i was thinking about what it would be like to not exist. Then i felt like i felt what it would be like and all my hope in future drained out of me because i realized we are on the edge of our perception and we are biological organisms. Natural machines... our time on earth is pointless and our only destiny is to ensure the growth of the species... much like ants. I was like this for DAAAYS...

Then it went away. All the hope i had in an afterlife or god eventually came back and now im 50/50 again. Is this something serious? I had never had a break like that before. I am quite a normal 21 year old. I never had mental problems. I do think too much... and have always been obsessed with perception and it's meaning.. but not to the point where i let it effect me emotionally. Well i didn't let it do anything. it was like a temporary epiphany...

It was not the weed, i know that much. Weed does not give you life changing experiences. It makes you eat candy and take walks in the woods...

Thoughts?

Welcome Mr J !

You  made a wish and the Universe answered with a sample of an answer--you are one powerful wisher! and the Universe is one powerful Grantor --  How does that make you a natural machine ?!  :D

In many cultures that type of experience is reserved for the shaman, who prepares for it for years. Those cultures know that such a change in perceptions can really throw a person. Today you may feel more like you are on your own, uinfortuantely.

What we do here, as you know, is discuss such changes of consciousness so that such experiences do not feel so strange. Like many spiritual traditions we try to get these changes without resorting to chemical aids. This site's host Bruce Moen has laid out a plan to do that in his books, especially the later ones.

I hope you will join  further in these discussions.

Betson  

Mr Jonnethon,
I'd say it is serious, but not necessarily in a negative way. As Bets said, you asked a question, and you came up with the closest thing it could find, to identify yourself with your body-machine, and the weed enhanced your imagination. You just made your mind up about an important question. This can be quite shaking.

In short, let the natural science talk about body & brain, but don't believe when it's concluded that you ARE your body&brain, because that's not scientific anymore. There's much stuff on the web about Near-Death-Experiences, out-of-body-experiences and such, read it and decide what it is on your own; you may even try some types of meditation, for example Bruce's method.

Spooky

Mr Jonnethon wrote on Sep 29^th, 2008 at 9:44pm:

.. our time on earth is pointless and our only destiny is to ensure the growth of the species... much like ants. I was like this for DAAAYS... Thoughts?

Mr Jonnethon;
Welcome aboard...i like that bit got a good laugh out of it..;)
Try spiritual growth it may help..lol

Yes do read Bruce books was a great help to me and others.
PUL

As the guys say J, and welcome aboard.

Sounds like you got was some real insight into the futility of belief in the physical existence/individual self as the basis of all there is.

Most don't get that until they've done a lot of work to figure out why this may be the case (you may have unconsciously done so)/accessed the required state of consciousness (the weed might well have helped the latter)

To come face to face with the futility  of the default belief system we are almost all brought up in can be a traumatic experience even for those well down the road in spiritual terms. (shades of the dark night of the soul and all of that)

As the guys say the way across this sort of chasm is usually to start work on developing your insight into the more fundamental realities - to head off down the spiritual path. As this insight dawns the pain fades with the development of a different view of the nature of reality and existence.

Maybe you can find a more experienced person or spiritual group to help out - even if it's not the ultimate answer it'll probably help. (but try not to over commit, or set aside your own intuition) Tibetan or another form of Buddhism, or if you prefer to work alone and can handle heavier reading A Course in Miracles are worth a look, but there's lots more options too which others here may be able to suggest.....

Hello Mr. Jonnethan:

In a way it's a good thing to think of ourselves as nothing more than ants while here, because it suggests that we are much more than ants and are playing the role of ants as a stepping stone to something much greater. We don't stop being a part of the process, we move on to something greater.

Our Souls start out as entities with very little definition and knowledge. We have to go through some sort of learning process in order to learn what existence is about, what is possible, how to make use of the creative aspect of our being, and develop our uniqueness.  Being human is just one of many ways God/source being/us do so.

After the lesson plan is over we have a splendid celebration that lasts for all of eternity. We live completely according to love. There is no need to negate our existence as individual Souls in order for this to be. How could we enjoy our oneness with each other and the fruits of our labor if we negated ourselves? If the mind energy with which we create comes from ourselves, and we accumulate knowledge we can make use of in a very beneficial way, there is no need in getting carried with the idea that everything is just a useless illusion.

It's me again. I just wanted to thank all of you kind people. I know I'm necro-posting, lame, but I doubt I'll be back to continue.

I don't think about those things anymore. Reading this is kind of embarrassing. But even after all this time I remember posting it. Time is so funny. Eternity seems so little to me now. I'm a finite being with finite thoughts that tried to comprehend something that isn't meant for me yet. Even the thought of not existing seems so natural and calming.

I lied when I said I was "over it and 50/50". I wasn't back then. I wasn't until late 2012. I was too worried about what people think of me, even anonymous internet people, to tell the absolute truth. Once more, thank you all for helping me out. The concepts introduced to me in this thread helped me more than I can relate at the moment. I read it all back then and took it to heart. I used to to help me break free of constant existential terror. Thank you so much.

Hi:

If you're saying thank you to me, you're welcome. I can't say I remember writing this post.  :)

It's kind of funny when somebody brings up an old post and I see something I wrote that I don't remember writing.

Hello again, Mr. Jonathon,
and welcome back.We appreciate, I'm sure, that you would let us know that your questions are being answered by Life as well as by our attempts.

Your initial concern has been read by many people and most likely some of them have been helped by the discussion too.  I think that can wipe out any embarrassment from originally posting it.

I too overcame terror through the kindness of people here expelling their own trials and explorations.

Don't be a stranger, Mr. Jonathon (-: 

IF YOU READ THIS BEFORE I AM BANNED I CAN HELP  YOU
ALL YOU WILL FIND HERE IS LIES DELUSIONS LED BY BRUCE
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME
MOEN