Hi everyone,

Some time ago, I asked Helpers/Guides to retrieve every part of myself that was stuck some place.

I asked my helpers if there were still stuck members of my group, and they said NO. (But I feel so separated with myself.)

Now, I sometimes dream of myself as a group of people performing the same activity in dreamscape. It is kind of funny. These other people have no clear faces, some have strong personalities, others I barily notice. I like to watch them act in the same reality.

Nonetheless, in a kind of subconscious level, I sometimes feel unexplainably sad or moody. Then, it is like groups of myself fragment and separate and want to do different things separately in their chosen reality. It is like they disagree with performing one and the same activity.

It is like my internal cohesion separates and I feel like doing things that are not really ME. Like my character is being influenced by ...I don't know what.

There are parts of me that I feel do not really fit in my current environment. I know for instance, that if I act a certain way, I will get less love by people whose opinion (and action following that opinion) matter to me. (Actually, I think there are members of my group who dislike other members. It is so strange.)

I keep pushing these parts down, not because I don't love them, simply because it is not practical for me to be like that.

Somehow, it seems like the more I push it down, the more it is coming up. I feel annoyed because, I can't reason with myself as well or as fast as I want.

I feel that, when I push down parts of me, they feel unloved and claim more to exist to proof themselves they are worth PUL. But really, I feel I am loosing my social rationality to this and I am not sure about the right thing to do.

Any ideas, suggestions, etc...are welcome.

Thanks in advance,

Sonia

I would like to add this:

I think I have 17 members of my group.

I once went to a medium and she said that I am a very complex person. (Is this a good thing?)

I know only one thing: I want to learn.

I would really appreciate your input.

Thank you again.

Sonia:

I believe that sometimes we can overdue the aspect thing. I haven't figured it all out, but I basically believe that different aspects of self represent different possibilities we've learned about.  In truth there is only one "us," so we need to figure out which aspects we want to be a part of ourselves. It isn't up to our aspects to decide. It is up to us. Aspects seem to have a say in the matter, when we are unclear about the beliefs and attachments they represent. The more clarity we gain and the more freedom we gain from our attachments, the more we are able to choose which aspect we want to live according to.

Often aspects stay sort of hidden until something causes them to surface. In your case, you asked to have them come to life. The same thing happened for me. One time my spirit guidance showed me an image of the mirror in my bathroom. It was broken into about a thousand pieces, yet these pieces stayed together. An image of myself was reflected within this broken mirror. I received the message, "You had to be an exception." The feeling I got from this is that because I wanted to really work on myself, aspects of mind that people usually keep hidden to varying degrees, came to life. Some of these aspects were quite surprising and difficult to deal with.  Nevertheless, I'm happy they came to life, because it became possible for me to deal with them. As a result the quality of my life has improved. I've recovered more of my spirit self. I'm more able to live according to love.

Perhaps you'll have the same success. Perhaps some loving Souls are looking for a mother who has taken the time to go through such growth. ;)

I don't mean to suggest that a person/soul can have only one focus of attention at a time. However, I believe that a time comes for each Soul where it is able to choose how many focuses of attention it wants to have during any given moment, rather than unwanted aspects making the decision.

Sonia,

I have learned that indeed our personality or awareness can split into many fragments and then consolidate later.

Please go to my post in the thread about time where I go into this phenonmenon in more detai

Regards

Alan