Hi,

I'm a young woman and all of my life I have suffered from panic attacks relating death and what will happen to me after I'm gone. I am scared without any hope and really, don't know how to deal with it and how to continue my life in fear. Does anybody have kind words of reassurance/faith?

Anything is appreciated.

I will also include a follow up to say that it frightens me the most not having my loved ones with me in the afterlife. Or, if being so worried about it will make my transition far more difficult since I do not want to leave this world.

What can I do?

Hi KC, I assure you that you have nothing to worry about in regards to seeing your loved ones again once you drop your body and leave from this lifetime. You will be with everone you love should you and they be at a point where you are able to be together. It is very easy to get trapped by this physical lifetime experience. Of course that includes having this amazing tool, the body as well. Fear of death is something that is ingrained in you so that you have a strong desire to experience this lifetime and to give you the chance to learn from it. I strongly sudgest you read Bruces books and Bob Monroe's also. They both provide a lot of information. Read around this site and feel free to ask any questions that you may have. You might not always get the answers you are looking for but you will get a variety of view points. All can be looked at. Of course there are a few here that are a bit what you might call "different" (perhaps me included)but they mean no harm and there is always some lession to be learned. Have fun and welcome to a new adventure of learning about yourself.
Joe

Hello:

All I can say is that I've had a ton of experiences which showed me that the after life exists. Lots of sources indicate that if you basically live your life as a good and loving person you'll be fine when you cross over. When I say this, I don't mean that you have to be a perfect saint.  Life is a challenge.  Taking on challenges is a part of the reason we incarnate here.

Of course one person's experience isn't another person's experience. For your own verifications perhaps you can pray before you go to sleep, and ask for a verification of the afterlife during a dream. I've found that our friends from the spirit World communicate to us through dreams quite often. Perhaps you'll be provided with information during a dream that you couldn't possibly become aware of without a spirit friend communicating something to you during a dream.

Another good thing to do is to tune into love and peace as best as you can. If you do so enough you might realize that you're in contact with a presence that is beyond this World.

Perhaps the imagination technique Bruce Moen recommends in his fifth book might help you.

Google "Near death experience" and see what many people have discovered during NDEs.  Notice how some of the things such people experience is beyond what a mind that is limited to physical experience could create and imagine. I had what I refer to as my night in heaven experience. I found that God and the afterlife do exist. I understood things in a manner that goes beyond how we experience things while in this World. I experienced a wonderful level of happiness and understood that everything works out wonderfully in the end.

Thank you for your words Hawkeye! I appreciate you took the time to write me.. I'd love to hear some more opinions if anybody is willing to say anything? Thank you so much

Recoverer, I will definitely google NDE's. I wish I could go through an experience that would settle my doubts and provide me with peace of mind. I also wonder, if you do not believe in God, will the afterlife be the same for that person?

When I had my night in heaven experience I was an atheist. I was completely surprised and relieved to see that God and the afterlife exist. I also understood that Christ does play a significant spiritual role, but not in a prohibitive fundamentalist way. Not only did I understand these things, I understood how they were possible without having to think about it. It was like "Oh yeah, of course!"  When I say God, I'm not speaking in an old man in the sky sense.

I believe I was able to experience what I experienced despite my lack of belief in such things, because I was basically a good and loving person. Therefore, I believe our hearts will lead our way when we move on to the afterlife.  Each of us will see which of our beliefs are accurate and which aren't. It may be that if a person is really rigid about certain beliefs, these beliefs might bog he or she down for a while. Therefore, when it is time to move on, it is good to keep an open mind. I figure the same thing can be said while still making use of a physical body.





KC wrote on May 6^th, 2008 at 2:49pm:

Recoverer, I will definitely google NDE's. I wish I could go through an experience that would settle my doubts and provide me with peace of mind. I also wonder, if you do not believe in God, will the afterlife be the same for that person?

Hi KC,

I was in the same situation that you are in, now. I wasn't sure what happens to us after death. I was so afraid that we disappear and never exist, again. This belief got me angry with life. If we cease to exist in death, why the hell are we put on Earth to suffer from birth through old age? We should all be able to have happy lives, enjoying it, living it...

I started to google "after life" to find out more. I came across Bruce's site in 2002. His site helped me cope with the hardships I faced. I was no longer unsure about the afterlife. I had confidence that my soul would exist through the end of time. I would be united with love ones.

I don't think everyone who goes onto this site is an instant believer. I am a believer because it just makes sense to me and it rings true deep in my core. Only in death will we all know the truth.

KC, welcome. When you say that you experience panic attacks, what do you mean? What is happening to you? Are there any specific things that trigger these fears or have they come upon you recently?

I used to experience panic attacks of various sorts. The desire to rid myself of needless fright and negative thinking caused me to begin experimenting with meditation and meditation aids, such as guided imagery and chanting. Meditation, when used regularly, eliminated many of my fears.

However, I still did not understand death.

The unknown is sometimes frightening to us, no matter what the circumstances.

Reading and sharing the thoughts and experiences of others here, as well as the books of Bruce Moen and Robert Monroe, have put quite a lot into perspective for me. Reading some of the near-death experiences of others was also quite helpful to me.

Finding a way to experience life within the shelter of a greater understanding of how we are all connected in such mysterious ways has also eliminated many fears.

Death is as rich an experience if not richer, in my mind, as any of the wonders each of us has been offered here in our human lifetimes. Just think of it, all the love that you have ever experienced, you are taking with you. All the beauty you have ever witnessed, you are taking with you.

So, while you explore the meaning of death, explore the meaning of life more fully, by realizing that all that you love and value here, you take with you. It is yours, forever.

So, choose well, this life you live. Then, have no fear.

...there is nothing to fear, not really, love, blink

Thank you again to all of you that have been supportive of what I am going through and went through a similar stage yourself. Blink, when I mention panic attacks, it is literally a lack of air, screaming, crying. They can be triggered by the silliest  thing: such as seeing the title of the book "The thing about live is that you're gonna die someday" or sitting alone in silence. I feel the best way to describe what goes through my mind is an absolute denial of "no! I cannot not be. I have to be." and terrible images, graves, darkness. My fear of death goes hand-to-hand with my fear of darkness. I haven't turned my lights off since I was 9. It is the lost of thought and myself that frightens me. Before, it was panic attacks at night. Now, it's when I wake up, in the shower, in class. I feel.. I'm eating, riding a bus, nothing has importance. Because I will lose it all.

I want you to know what you said, at the end of your post, of all the love I'm taking and the beauty made me break down in tears. It was truly beautiful and my family and friends love me so much. I hate not feeling good for them, not being able to laugh and enjoy them because I am so scared. I want to be happy. I want to lead, a let's say, "normal life". I get discouraged the most because I'm freaking out while everybody seems so relaxed about it. Why me? I am healthy, the life around me is prosperous and good. And while I get older, will my fear get larger as I approach old age? I am only 18 years old. I'm barely entering adulthood and standing on my own two feet and it's so difficult...

KC, there is a reason why you have suffered the way you have. The mind creates its own repetitive "loops" and it sounds to me, although I am not an expert by any means, that your mind has created such sensitivity in your body that mere whispers from your mind can create havoc, physically and emotionally, for you.

There are professionals in the fields of psychology and social work who have worked with panic disorders. They would have more information than me on some treatments, which you could consider. But, a spiritual approach, I think, can be just as effective for some people. Just sharing with those who have experienced fears such as yours, as you can see, helps you to know that you are not alone.

Trying some guided meditations, those which focus on confidence, self-esteem, spiritual strength, love and beauty, and others, might assist in calming your mind, body and emotions. You can definitely overcome your fears, by focusing directly on them and working through them.

I'm pretty sure that I'm "gonna die" just about every time I drive onto a freeway. However, there used to be a time when I couldn't even do it. It's not something I choose to do very much, but I can and will do it when I decide to do it. Guided meditation, focusing right on that topic, helped me.

You can even create your own guided meditations, if you want to.

I could tell you many other stories.

The point is, the Buddha says: It's your mind that creates this world.

Think about that. It's a very powerful statement.

Your mind. No one else's mind. So, be gentle with your mind, gentle with your heart. Give them time to create everything you need to be happy, and they will.

love, blink

Hi KC  There is life after death and you do have a spirit and when you die one day ,you will go into that beautiful spiritworld and be with your loved ones that have gone before you,i know how you feel when you get these panic attacks as i suffer from them myself and i have found that when i get scared about things and start worrying ,i write my fears down on paper and i put it in my bible as i have a lot of faith and love for God and i feel when i put it in my bible i'm placeing it in God's hands and what i was fearing seems to just melt away,i still get fears but thats the way i cope with it,i dont know whwther you beleive in God or not but it does not matter if you dont beleive in God ,he still loves you as he does not expect you to be the perfect human being.

I still sleep with the light on,i have been afraid of the dark since i was a little girl,my Dad died but he did not really beleive in God but i have had many messages from him through different mediums and he has said many times that he is with his loved ones and is in a beautiful place full of nothing but love.

When you feel afraid ,write it down and put it somewhere in a draw,it really does help,welcome to this site and you will learn much on here about life after death and this will help you to understand more,it's full love and caring on here for each other and we are all here for you to help you understand,so KC keep writing about your fears of this and your questions as we will all on here try our best to answer them for you with love and understanding.

Love and God bless     love juditha

One of the things that reportedly tends to happen in your sort of case KC is that having created something we fear (e.g. the thought that we might die) we start to push it away from us (we suppress  what we fear), and to as a result of our fear pump energy into it.

As Blink said 'with our minds we create our (the) world'.

This makes it grow as a separate entity within our mind ( a bit like schizo tendencies), and the loss of energy can come to make us feel very down too. It reportedly becomes a vicious circle in that the more energy we pump in the greater the fear becomes the more it frightens us the more it sucks our energy the more.... ad infinitum.

As ever stopping the flight (finding the courage to move towards and rest in the fear until we can with luck and work come to see that it's in truth just a delusional construction) and extending love in place of the hostility seem to be the answer - until we do this we keep on giving it existence as a growing 'demon' (not Hollywood style) or a separated part of mind.

I posted before about the Tibetan Buddhist practice of Chod which is designed specifically to deal with this sort of problem by this means. This book by an American nun named Tsultrin Allione sets it out in more detail: http://books.google.ie/books?id=yJEUIQAACAAJ&dq=inauthor:Tsultrim+inauthor:Allione&ei=0MggSLPRD4PUzATW9_nTBg

She also has a CD out there on the topic named Cutting Through Fear which is pretty widely available (it showed up in our local bookshop): http://www.namsebangdzo.com/Cutting_through_Fear_Tsultrim_Allione_p/11729.htm

Another Buddhist nun Pema Chodron has written on the subject of dealing with fear too, this time by slightly different means: http://www.amazon.com/Places-That-Scare-You-Fearlessness/dp/1570624097
She presents a more comprehensively argued view if you are of a thinking inclination.

Both in my experience set out very effective practices, although the effectiveness is probably linked to  developing a degree of meditative skill. (my experience was in dealing with fear and a sense of failure when ill, my path was via meditation and not unlike Blink's) I found Buddhist and other spiritual perspectives on the nature of existence very helpful too - they in very logical terms tend to point out that while death is a change of state we can't die.

The guys have already mentioned how 'non-ordinary' experience can help, although that too for most of us requires work and practice to access as well. Bruce Moen's books are not a bad place to start, and are a lot more accessible than more traditional approaches: http://www.amazon.com/Afterlife-Knowledge-Guidebook-Retrieval-Exploration/dp/1571744509/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1210112565&sr=1-1

One caveat is probably as implied above. Viewed using more 'scientific' language this sort of fear is presumably the result of a view or conclusion having been imprinted in our mind - usually at an early age when we couldn't see past it, and usually at a deep level we don't have access to in normal consciousness.

Meditation is one way of accessing the required levels, but depending on the state of your mind it usually takes quite a bit of time and practice. Stuff like the Monroe Institute's Hemi Sync tapes, holotropic breathwork and even the likes of Brandon Bay's 'Journey' CD are probably worth exploring as ways to help speed up the process too.

This most definitely is not a recommendation, but various 'substances' like marijuana and other  stronger agents (it's reputed) if used correctly can facilitate the required access too, with the selection of agent depending on the levels at which you are carrying the issue.

These things can also be (slowly) nibbled away at from normal levels of consciousness its seems too - by making quite explicit exactly what it is that we fear, and using logic, research, psychotherapy, experience (perhaps non-ordinary experience as reported by guys here) or whatever to overturn the old logic.

There's (without a lot of luck) no instant answers, but there are lots of ways and means. It starts with turning inwards and beginning the journey of self discovery. Most of us started from one or other position of personal crisis......

I couldn't have asked for nicer answers.

Blink, I am definitely going to see a specialist on panic attacks, do a little therapy and such, as soon as I finished this semester of college. I find it really difficult to sit with my thoughts right now, do you have any advice on how to start the meditation? Most of the time I find I cannot simply be quiet, or silent. I'm tormented but I seriously wish and will strive to find hope and balance.
Juditha, I have thought of getting some kind of journal before and it sounds like a nice solution to get my thoughts out a bit more clearly. For a while, I have believe (or wanted to believe.. badly) in some kind of religion, to have something to hold on to spiritually. I have recently started attending church and I'll see how that goes..

Linh, I strongly hope to learn from your experience in this site and explore a bit more.

Recoverer, I hope I will be ready when the time comes. I'll certainly try to keep as open mind!

Thank you for anything, I will keep checking to hear more opinions, and re-read these positive thoughts. You really made my day better.

vajra, thank you for the recommendations on the tapes and books. I will look into them to see which one would interest me a little more. The idea of reincarnation is something that, again most silly, scares me. I read (here) it's a personal choice based on your spiritual travels when you hit the afterlife. Will you reincarnate or not?
Right now, it's a no. Then again, I'll see how time unravels things. I'll repeat that it's hard to stay still with my thoughts, do you think seeing a panic attack specialist would help and then starting with the meditation?
Thanks again

KC, Along with all of the good people who you are going to find here, there are some who just might scare the heck out of you. Some of them are here to do just that. An agenda of fear mongering. I think because fear makes it easier to control people. Not to worry...the world is not comming to an end tomorow, you don't have to believe in Jesus, there is no conspirancy by the space aliens to kill and eat our babies. No George Bush is not a lizard nor is the Queen of England.  (Although some who come here do think so and may suggest you should start to think so also.) Your not going to Hell inless you decide that you are, no matter what you do or what others think.  The bottem line is that there is nothing to fear. Go with the books... Your investment of a few dollars will return ten-fold in knowledge and understanding. Once you open yourself up to learn, you will.

Joe

PS, Of course I have an agenda too. Love.. Thats what I think we need to be pushing..Love
Joe

I agree with Hawkeye. Stay away from the fear based agendas.  Through spiritual experiences and messages it has been shown to me in numerous ways that there is nothing to be afraid of if we chose love and light.

Regarding Jesus, well, he's one of the light beings who helped me. I don't believe he is some dictator like being you better believe in or else.  Love and fear is a terrible combination.  Sort of like putting poison in your water before you drink it.  When each of us moves on to the World of spirit we'll each be surprised about many things. As long as we are humble and loving there won't be any problems.  

Contact the Monroe Institute and ask for Dr. Darlene Miller to suggest some hemi-sync music/CD's.  The hemi-sync places two distinct sounds--- one in each ear, then the sound meets in the middle of your brain to help calm you.  The Monore researches such problems such as panic attacks and will have a list of possible CD's for you to listen to.  They will help calm your brain down and allow you to "feel" the beauty of your life.  www.MonroeInstitute.com The very first page will explain how the sound help.  Let the experts help, then let us help.  Love and Light--- Carol Ann

I was discussing with a friend how, according to him, it is so difficult to "buy" into religious ideas, God and Jesus. I'm confused about my belief and certainly, am trying to make a decision about the whole thing in general. fear agendas certainly guide my life, (don't they guide everybody in one point or the other?). Scienfic theories and proof. It's all so overwhelmingly! For today, I am remembering to breathe and remind myself of the people I love.

Identcat, I'm looking into it right now! Thank you!

KC:

I went through a period of time where the idea of Christ bothered me, because of some of the annoying things fundamentalism teaches. Then I realized that I didn't really know who Christ is, opened myself up to finding out, and had a number of experiences and received messages that let me know that the person of Jesus did live and he plays a significant role in divine reality. However, his role doesn't have to do with the oppresive judgmental ways of thinking fundamentalism sometimes includes. Also, there are many light beings who help with the divine plan, including some of us in human form.

Imagine if somebody wrapped the sun with a blanket of oppresive ideas and said you had to accept the ideas before you could be warmed by the sun. Would you go by what they say, or would you realize that the blanket turned into ashes as soon as the blanket was placed on the sun?


KC wrote on May 6^th, 2008 at 7:39pm:

I was discussing with a friend how, according to him, it is so difficult to "buy" into religious ideas, God and Jesus. I'm confused about my belief and certainly, am trying to make a decision about the whole thing in general. fear agendas certainly guide my life, (don't they guide everybody in one point or the other?). Scienfic theories and proof. It's all so overwhelmingly! For today, I am remembering to breathe and remind myself of the people I love.

It's definitely a vicious cycle of self-destruction of thought. It's hard to feel ok in the afternoon and broken as the night comes. Once again... I'm scared.

KC, why are you scared? I have heard it said that sometimes it is good to totally focus on the body. Focus on the sensations of the body. Like, how does your big toe feel right now? Okay? It feels okay?

Okay, how about everything else? Okay?

Breathe. Relax. So, what is happening right now?

Was there a moment today that you felt really good? Do you have a journal yet? This might be a good time to write a few things down, like how you felt at different times.

Well, I am your Journal. So is every person on this thread.

Love is Real.

You see, there are people here, and I am taking you aside to say this to you, in confidence, with confidence, who are fully capable of visiting you in your dreams and reminding you that you are very much alive.

I am convinced that we are never really alone, and that we can easily invoke the powers of light to protect us.

Therefore, consider yourself protected. You are.

love, blink

Hi KC!

I too am very young and my curiosity led me to this site.  I like your thoughts.  It reminds me of the way I think.  

I also have a extreme fear of the dark.  Always have.  When I was littler, my parents would always get mad at me for keeping the lights on at night.  Eventhough I knew I would get yelled at, I did it anyways.  Just so I could fall asleep and not fear it anymore.  So that it would be light again in the morning.  I still have that fear.  Only not as bad as to where I leave my lights on!! ;D  

Blink, I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier when my fear started. I will post more tomorrow  but I focused on that: my toes. I will scan my dream for friendly strangers.
Noslord, I'm glad you got somewhat over your fear! Someday, hopefully, I will too.

Well done KC, the important step is the first one you take down the path of starting to work with yourself. Monroe and some books on meditation and working with fears are a good place to start all right. It might help as well to sign  for a while with one of the many groups teaching meditation - both for the instruction, and for the moral support of a like minded group.

Don't expect it all to be handed to you on a plate - you'll have to get going, do some digging and take responsibility for your own path. Expect some apparent reverses and dead ends, all will teach you something.

Pardon the length, but I'm going to try to paint a bigger picture.

It's really important that you trust your own intuition on what feels right - don't substitute one set of fears with another that some lot lay on you.

There's as Hawkeye says a lot of people around with a vested interest in getting people hung up on rigid beliefs and fear - so that they can manipulate them - pretty much all the traditional institutional and fundamentalist religions, not to mention the major societal institutions, political and money interests as well.

It happens accidentally too - when we're very young (or not so young) and know no better a casual comment or thought gets easily fastened on to and builds to become a big deal.

So it's very easy to get stuck with beliefs that scare the heck out of us. What is pushed at us by the system and by popular culture fortunately proves not to stand up to real scrutiny however. (when you start digging you'll find there are good books out there on this topic too - but probably best to focus on finding a way to get started on meditation somewhere that feels comfortable for the moment)

With time and work (the meditation and study mentioned above) we tend to gain insight, a better understanding and experience of what we are, and of the nature of reality  - with time it becomes clear for most that the fear based systems are basically the result of a sort of tunnel vision. Of people out of their own fear mistakenly conceiving existence as ruled by fear and aggression rather than love.

This is in a sense a pasting of mind made but rigid conceptual beliefs with no actual existence over the reality. As Robert Anton Wilson said 'what the thinker knows, the prover proves'. What we believe (real or not) is what we experience.

It's maybe a lot healthier that we avoid adopting rigid beliefs at all - that we instead relate to  life as a process, that we move through it in a cocoon of evolving understanding and knowledge based on experience and interpretation of what seems to make sense to us. What we think is never more than a working position subject to change tomorrow.

All this talk of meditation and the like is only to get our minds slowed down enough so we can  start to perceive what's actually around us - both within and outside without our beliefs distorting our perceptions.

With time we start to overcome our conditioning, and start to see and know - the spiritual path is basically about dropping beliefs that don't stand up, and replacing them with a fluid and ever changing process of learning as above.

It's a lot about opening, awakening, and letting things be  - informed by an underlying sense that while we are at times required to act that what life brings is ultimately for our good.

Everything we perceive is in the mind, the game is to stop closing, tightening and imposing our mind made beliefs and hang ups over reality, over the natural flow of life. The former inevitably ends up being fear based, the latter leads to the experience and ultimately to an ability to trust that this flow is led by love.

The fear driven person sees one reality, and responds in a manner that creates more suffering for themselves and others, those seeing more tend increasingly to respond from love.

Anyway. The good news is that mind (and consequently our total reality) is pretty malleable. My own experience of working with fears suggests that more than likely you will with some perseverance be able to work your way clear.

In my own case it took a fairly major life and health crisis to start me down this path. It took a few years, but I got a more or less immediate improvement and by now it's transformed my health, life and outlook....

Hi KC

Everyone here has given you some very good ideas. Please do see a therapist and also start meditating, which will help you to feel calm and peaceful. I also recommend the Monroe tapes/CD's.

Realize that you do not need to be afraid anymore. You can choose to be happy. Whenever you feel fearful be firm with yourself and say something like, "No, I choose happiness or I choose love." Then do something silly like make funny faces in the mirror or sing a silly song or dance a silly dance, etc. Another affirmation to is to say "I love me just the way I am, no matter what way that may be." Feel love for yourself, even when you're afraid.

I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have already died by being born into the physical world and forgetting who we really are. We are the most beautiful lights of love you can possibly imagine. Death of the physical body is simply letting go of it to become even more alive than you can possibly imagine.

Much love to you, KC.
Kathy

The only problem now is waiting for me to finish this semester of college and then go home and see a therapist and begin my healing. I woke up this morning with a calm feeling, I had normal dreams that showed a party of people from my college welcoming me. Also some dreams about my loved ones. I prayed before going to sleep for some kind of sign but alas, nothing extraordinary happened. I guess it's too much to ask that so suddenly everything will feel ok. I took a shower and there: the same pain hit me. Will I be able to take showers after death? I guess I find myself too attached to my body. Its doings, its flaws. And another pain hurts me.. I'm changing the person I am here. I'm no longer motivated, joyful, sexual, young. I can't even hug my boyfriend without crying for two reasons.. he is supporting me so greatly and there's so much love there. But I'm not being the same person I was, the peron he loves. And that hurts. I wanna be me. I wanna get back to my life. Then I had lunch and I just sat there: I keep repeating - good things will not end. I am loved. I have so much love to give. Life is beautiful. Positive thoughts but nothing really. Again I feel empty, sad, confused. I cannot focus on my life right now but rather a haunting thought of: I'm just waiting for all of this to pass and for me to die. And it to end. I'm sorry! You keep giving me amazing comments and thoughts but then when I look into myself, I feel just as lost.

Will it ever get better? Are you sure... really sure?

KC, the thought that everything might actually end - your perceptions, your existence - is a very interesting thought, when you spend some time with it.

It seems that there is something that you really need to work out for yourself, in regards to your perception of time, your perception of reality. I think we can all feel the yearning that you have to know what is truly real.

There are moments in my life when the thought that this physical existence will end is very comforting. Those are usually times when I am in pain, or involved in things I would rather not experience.

However, when I am happy, light, and clear in mind and heart, the opposite is true. I am very conscious of the moment being transitory in a different way.... I am conscious of the moment's transitory nature, but I am also conscious of its eternal nature, as well.

It seems to be a contradiction, not to be "lost" in the moment, but it is not. It is actively experiencing life.

If I am fully conscious, I am able to expand my perceptions enough to simultaneously recognize the transitory nature of my experiences, and to also live in the present, enjoying all that I am blessed with.

So, I think it is interesting that you are so conscious. Although you do not like the way that you feel, and for good reasons, the fact remains that you are very conscious. You are awake.

Being awake is good. It will get better. I'm sure.

love, blink

Apparently, it's working with acceptance and close to my love ones that will help me get back on my feet. I've always had problems accepting anything really.

Love and acceptance. Two of the greatest things on the planet. Or anywhere else, I imagine.

:)

I'm going to recommend this cd to you. You must listen with headphones in a relaxed state, and before sleep is the best time. It contains a method by which you can physically and subconsciously cue yourself to relax deeply. When you have absorbed this cd by listening to it for a few weeks, or sooner, you will be able to employ this easy technique to eliminate pain of any sort. Meanwhile, you will take a lovely journey through nature, the four elements, with the soothing voice of the guide, and hemi-sync music, which balances the brain.

HemiSync   Energy Walk             Monroe Institute

I think that if you tried it, you would like it.        just another 2 cents

 Hi K.C., i would pretty much just echo most of the other suggestions and good ideas already given to you.  

  When those difficult feelings arise, just remember how loved you are.   Totally and completely loved by Source, your Greater Self, and loved by some of your family and friends.    Love yourself, look into a mirror, say your name and say something like "you are one wonderful and beautiful person!"  

  You are, you know.  

 And if you start to meditate at all, ask for pure universal love to fill, lift you up, and surround you before meditating and while meditating.   Believe it will, and it will.  Belief and beliefs are very powerful things.  

KC. You have come to a site just where you need to have come at just this time in your life. I will bet on it. Its always strange that most people find just what they need, at just the right time. I think this is your time to find...here. You are going to find all the support and help you need. You should know inside allready if "here" is right for you. The many suggestion allready given to you are all very good and will get you a long ways. Now the balls in your court. Do you have time to go down to the book store and buy a book? How about sit down and read for a few hours? Now its all up to you.
Joe