Hi  I and Deanna went to the spiritualist church tonight,we got there late so when we walked in we just sat down as the service was already on,after the medium finished me and Deanna went outside and when we went back in the church this fellow cornered us and told us he found us both offensive and rude because we came there late and because we went out before the service finished,so I just said to him"Well that's your problem,get lost."and then that Jim one of the healers said to me and Deanna,that he agreed with that fellow,so me and Deanna sat down crying. :'(

The medium Dawn came to talk to us and I told her me and Deanna have never been wanted on this earth and we want to be with dad in the spirit world because wherever me and Deanna go no one wants us,so Dawn told us that some spirits do come here and are not wanted,but they just come on the earth to learn and I thought me and Deanna are learning about hurt pain and suffering because of others in this world,so Dawn gave me her card so I can ring her when I'm not happy.

I have had enough of this horrible world,I'm going to live but I will be glad when me and Deanna are out of it for good.

Love and God bless     love juditha

Bah that's really uncool. Some retard goes out of his way to try to make you feel bad...

and succeeds.

If you ask me he is in the wrong whether or not the medium agrees with what he said.

::HUGS::

Hi  This a poem me and Deanna wrote to God

God why do we suffer and want to die
Why does everyday make us want to cry
Why is our life so hard to live
Even though the love we give
More and more suffering, we are with.


Please help us dear God to want to live
Our thoughts are that love is all we want to give
Day after day this plagues our souls with endless pain
Knowing were not wanted, again and again.

Our hearts are heavy so much inside
We try to get through this hurt inside
But we know with your love it can make us strong
And from above, it will help us along
This pathway of life, we walk upon

Please forgive us Father for our thoughts to die
It’s so strong sometimes, it makes us cry
We know you love us for who we am
But at the moment our life’s a sham
We feel so worthless and self pity is strong
We just feel that life’s not worth going on
But we know we must live our life to the full
Until our time is ended once and for all

We love you God with all our heart
And we will be with dad one day, never to part
In your beautiful kingdom up above
Where our spirits will be surrounded, by your beautiful love.

Love and God bless    love juditha

Hi Terethian Thanks for what you wrote and for the hugs.

Love and God bless  love juditha

Hi Juditha-

I agree with your first response - That someone has decided to  make a point of being rude and obnoxious actually says NOTHING AT ALL  about you two. However it does say a great deal about the speaker. So, as you told him, it's his problem.

Negative attacks like that come from two general sources, fear and rage. Some people hang onto feelings of rage and project them against everybody they meet because they're afraid that they have no power. That leads to a sense of fear that maybe they have no value and are unable to accomplish anythng meaningful. It's like discovering that they are just tiny frogs in a very big pond, and instead of looking for ways to grow, they're seeking ways to make the pond seem smaller by driving away the other frogs.

Those of us who are willing to learn, work for the good of others, and accept that we can grow and develop our abilities, are a terrible threat to these mini-frog types. While they feel helpless, they see you working on yourself and growing, and that frightens them because they feel even more helpless and hopeless. So that become enraged and strike out in various ways. Many murders and rapes come from that kind of fear and rage, as the perpetrators try to prove that they amount to more than a waste of skin.

You might notice that this is exactly the kind of thng that gets people stick in the interlife interface - the place where Bruce and others go to rescue stuck souls. It's essentially an attitude problem that prevents them from realizing the truth, that they could be surrounded by loving friends -  if they will stop driving their friends away and trying to hate everyone. But since they've more or less gotten rid of everyone they know who doesn't agree with their own sour attitude, they're now stuck with the consequences. Everyone they know is negatve and unpleasant. It's a classic case of a BST.

As a medium you occasionally encounter angry and enraged spirits. And you've probably noticed that their problem is that they have turned off their ability to love, and replaced it with hostility. They do this from fear, because if they were to love, they would also have to take a real look at themselves, and then become responsible for making changes in many areas of their attitudes. Since they feel unworthy, they feel they must hide from love, so they hate, and try to feel that hatred proves they're alive. Actually, because you have deeper spiritual insight, you can see that this simply makes them more dead.

The same is true for your critic. Rather than being open to God and love, they are trying to shut it all down, so that they feel more powerful. But what they are doing is cutting themselves off from the Source of all power. Like any other stuck soul, these people deserve a certain amount of pity, and they are terribly needy. If you aren't too disgusted, they also need love.

Meanwhile, I suggest that next time you get that kind of reaction you listen to the tiny terrified frog-person inside them and realize that it all means little more than the "ribbit, ribbit" sound that comes from any country sewer or ditch in the evening.

You gals have chosen a difficult, but extremely rewarding road in this life - both for you and for the rest of us as well. More power to you!

dave

Hi dave Thanks for what you have written here as its helped me see what this fellow done to us at the church from a different point of view,i did'nt realise thats why he was like this to us as i did not even know him but i have seen him in the church some weeks,when i told him that was his problem and to get lost he just give me a look and walked out the church.

Dawn the medium said that spirit were saying even though me and deanna get hurt we are very loving and we dont like to hurt anyone,its such a hurtful hard life to get through sometimes,so we will just keep giving and sending out love to try and make it a better world.

Love and God bless    love juditha

I agree with Dave. Keep your chin up, gal, you and Deanna are doing fine.

love, blink :)

Deanna and Juditha,

For years that spiritualist church has been a source of disrespect and rejection for you.  So why do you keep attending there?  There are many churches which would go out of their way to affirm you and make you feel good about yourselves.  Why not explore other churches or support groups in your area and prove this for yourself?  If any of these churches don't light your fire, then don't go back.  Keep trying out a new church or support group until you find one in which the people build you up instead of tearing you down.  When someone is hounded by depression, it is very  important for her to escape the toxic people in her life, if that is possible.  

Don

What do you expect? IT IS A CHURCH!!!
A bunch of conformist, ideologue, believe-by-the-numbers,
"You either wid us or you agin' us",
"Great-One-Has-Spoken-So-Thinking-Is-Done"
dunderheads!
You insist on associating with them? Well - you get what you get
I guess.
Sorry to say, but I'm just being honest with you.

B-man

B-man,

Last week I attended a 3-day male spiritual retreat in a church that included skeptics just like you.  Many of these guys were vets who talked about their brushes with death during combat (Vietnam, Iraq).  Others were jocks (coaches and ex-college football and basketball players).  No way these guys were going to get manipulated by anybody!  Well, except by God.  By the end of the retreat, almost all of them were a weepy, blubbery mess, broken by their encounters with God and their experience of PUL.  I suspect you would have had the same electrifying reaction.  Why do you generalize on the basis of your toxic church experience?  Not all churches and church groups are the same.  I think you know that.  

The famale equivalent of this retreat will be held next week and I expect the same result.  The female leader of that retreat came to ours and was asked the obvious question: what's the different between the men's and woman's retreat?  Stone-faced, she shot back, "The women don't cry!"  Wow, did that reply trigger hilllarious groans of dismay from our very macho, albeit now weepy and sensitive gang of guys!  

Don      

Juditha,
It seam that there has been a few problems at this church you attend. Is there no way to talk to the people in charge and see if anything can be done. Bullying should not be tolerated at this sort of a place. Perhaps they need excommunication due to what they are doing. They make you cry. This place and the people within have even brought you close to killing yourself. It high time you took control over your own life and realized that you don't need this sort of help. HELP YOURSELF!  It time to quit crying about it and time to do something about it. If there is nothing that can be done then you really should consider a new church or even not going to a church at all. The truth is within and no church is needed to be a part with God.    

FB, What no gun and lets just kill them? Hmm....
Joe

Hi joe,bman,blink and don,terethian,dave  Thanks for what you have written and i,ve decided now to go to St Peter and St Pauls church every sunday morning to have holy communion and Deanna is as well,also we have asked Tiffany the priest at St peter and St Pauls church if we can both be comfirmed and she is going to arrange this for us,we have finished with that spiritualist church,cant take the hurt there anymore,we really tried to fit in there and we failed and we both have admitted defeat with this church,so we will be going to St peter and St pauls church from now on.

We Love You All                 love and God bless   Juditha and Deanna

Don't think of it as failure or defeat...it is them who have lost something special. Kick the dust from your shoes and be happy for the people who are getting what they need from your old church. You could even say a little prayer for them or send them a good dose of love. You never know, the change may be far better for you than you know at this time.
Joe

Hi all my dearest friends on here thankyou for all your replys to me and juditha ,my heart is breaking at the moment i am so fed up with being rejected ,so fed up with feeling fear and being so unhappy all the time i,m tired of it all ,i love my sister juditha very much i dont know how i would cope without her in this horrible life love deanna

Hi Deanna-
When I was attending the Chapel of Light Spiritualist Church in Portland, I recall the minister's solution. At the time it sounded rather trite, but in fact it's a technique for karmic leverage. His advice:

Whenever your lonely, or tired, or sick,
Do something nice for somebody. Quick.

Initially, I put this in the same basket as the person who reminded me that one can catch more flies with BS than with vinegar. But in fact, this is a quick way to readjust attitude so that once again you are in charge of the situation. By taking responsibility, we gain the ability to respond.

PUL to you both-
dave

hawkeye wrote on Feb 18^th, 2008 at 6:10pm:

FB, What no gun and lets just kill them? Hmm.... Joe

*****************
Is your reading comprehension so low, that you failed to
see that I was DENOUNCING people like the NIU gunman,
ect? And I was suggesting a painless injection to weed out
people like him early on. NOT go on a rampage myself.
Comprende? Kapisch?
Or does the fact that I DON'T believe that the gov't has the right to send
a goon squad to invade my house and confiscate my sporting firearms, rankle you? (If so, tough s**t.)

B-man

B-man

Hi Juditha and Deanna, I'm glad you have found a new church and made a commitment to yourselves. It seems like it will be a good thing for you to find a place that suits you both. And they're the lucky ones, too.

love, blink

wrote on Feb 17^th, 2008 at 5:02pm:

Hi  I and Deanna went to the spiritualist church tonight,we got there late so when we walked in we just sat down as the service was already on,after the medium finished me and Deanna went outside and when we went back in the church this fellow cornered us and told us he found us both offensive and rude because we came there late and because we went out before the service finished,so I just said to him"Well that's your problem,get lost."and then that Jim one of the healers said to me and Deanna,that he agreed with that fellow,so me and Deanna sat down crying. :'( The medium Dawn came to talk to us and I told her me and Deanna have never been wanted on this earth and we want to be with dad in the spirit world because wherever me and Deanna go no one wants us,so Dawn told us that some spirits do come here and are not wanted,but they just come on the earth to learn and I thought me and Deanna are learning about hurt pain and suffering because of others in this world,so Dawn gave me her card so I can ring her when I'm not happy. I have had enough of this horrible world,I'm going to live but I will be glad when me and Deanna are out of it for good. Love and God bless     love juditha

like you i feel that this world isnt my home. i find this world cold and depressing, thats me i cant help it. however it makes me a stronger person and determined to evolve to the best of my abilities, this is why i believe some of us have to endure mental suffering in order to progress. if i found life a bed of roses then i would be idle and not improve myself. a voice once said to me in my head" you'll just have to wait for the grand new awakening", living in a deal world seems too good to be true but then who knows?

Hi Ian I  agree with you if life was a bed of roses, then we would not learn anything and thats what we are here for,only sometimes i wonder whether in my previous life i owed a lot of karma as i seem to have payed it back since as long as i can remember and i,m still paying,but i have always felt like this world is not my home.

Love and God bless    love juditha

Juditha said: i have always felt like this world is not my home.

____

you're right Juditha. Just remember we are traveling through. love, alysia

Hi Juditha and Deanna,
Maybe take a view from a different perspective of the box.
Look at yourself as being a flower. Watch the stages of the growth and the journey of a flower outside in nature.
It endures much before it blooms, right?
It begins like we do from the tiny little something called a seed.
I am sure it hurts alot as it begins to get roots. Things thriving out with force of the middle of its something.
As soon as it reaches above the earth, the seemingly troubles begin.
It gets drowned by rain, sometimes by gushes of water like a hurricane rain fall.
Then the sun shines on it again. It reaches firmly towards the sunrays...
But lets face it, the neighbors dog finds it so cool that the booger has to walk up to it and pee on it, calling it his own.
I am sure the plant feels like smacking that dog up side the head!
The next minuite, it begins to hail - big ice cubes falling right on its body and all this little plants really wants to do is - grow up, not harming anyone.
Hmmm, then a bird decides it wants to poop right on its head, weighing at down again, so the plant hopes literally for some rain again so to cleanse itself.
Hop Hop Hop, a bunny rabbit comes along and takes a chunk of one of the flowers arms, oh gosh what pain it must endure!

So it begins to get smarter and blooms so bright that the human notices it, puts a fence around it to protect it, nourisches it with love..

Eventually, the sleeptime comes back around and it is tired and sleepy goes back within itself and starts the whole procedure again next spring...

Thats you and thats life!

Moral of the story:
The dog that pees on you, the rabbit that bits off one of your arms and the bird that shits on your head are present so you learn to "OVERCOME" them, so to bloom brighter and be noticed for YOUR INDIVIDUAL BEAUTY!

My suggestion to you:
Shine and bloom! Shine as bright with love as you possibly can, that scares away the peeing doggies and the bite`in rabbits!


Love ya,
Nanner

Hi juditha.

To me this sounds like turning the other cheek, which many christians and love-and-lighters alike seem to deem as being kind. For me, turning the cheek is allowing the victimizer to continue his/her deed, and is not being kind to yourself.

When you said that's your problem, get lost, which sounds fine and dandy to me, another one stepped in and got his/their way using guilt. Fear would maybe have been a more obvious method of controlling you. If anybody tries guilt-tripping me, or any other control-scheme, they WILL be blasted. I don't accept being victimized, which has been a huge source of pain in my incarnarnation.

Now.. I blamed "the horrible people doing this to me", and sure, many were horrible, and that's all on them, but I didn't review my part in the situations, and how the not-standing-up-for-my-self was all on me.

At the end of the day, if you stand up for yourself, if you refuse to be a victim, there will be no victimizer to harass you, and less pain on your part as a result. Practice makes perfect.


Volu

Hi volu I'm slowly learning to stand up for myself as my confidence in myself is getting stronger as i had been put down from a very early age for years and now i'm having councilling which is helping me to be stronger in this world.And
welcome to the afterlife knowledge,nice to have you on board.

Love and God bless    love juditha

Hi Juditha an Deanna,


I would like to hug and comfort both of you, even if I don't know any of you. I deeply understand your suffering and your feelings  because I am myself an over sensitive person and I tend to suffer very much when hurt by the others. The people from the first church were rude and mean, even the " so called medium" without having any reason.
I also tend to dislike the way the world is now.  In a way I understand the actions of people what they are doing and whay and on the other hand I don't understand them. Many people are so carried out by animalic instincts without thinking that they hurt the others and without putting themselves in the other people's place. If they would do that so many bad things would not happen.
If I were to be born again I would want a simpler world without so many rules and with more carrying and nicer people. Maybe this suffering and this path that leads to disliking the world as it is will lead spiritually to something else, maybe the addiction to earth system will loosen. It's just a supposition that came to me (I trying to understand why things are happening to me).

On the other hand I suppose that it is true that suffering help you progress. I had a period in my life of intense suffering that lead me onto the actual path, on which I am closer to spirituality than ever. Without that period of suffering I am sure that I wouldn't be where I am now.

I wish you all the blessing, love and peace.

Lia

Hi Lia It is a very hard world out there and no matter how much you try and cope with it,sometimes it just seems like you are not getting anywhere even though you keep trying,i have found this many times in my life and have reached dispair at times but the one thing that keeps me going is my children and my love and faith in God because he loves us unconditionally.

Love and God bless you Lia      love juditha