Hi i am worried about juditha ,she tried to commit suicide saturday night ,she tried to cut her wrists with a knife ,her son davy managed to stop her in time and he rang me and i went round to judithas house and when i got there she had a few cuts on her arms i cried ,she had split up with her husband but they are back together now ,which i am pleased because they love one another i told my sister not to try and cut her wrists again because i love her and wouldnt want to be without her ,i think she is okay now i hope so anyway love deanna

Deanna,
I do not know you or Juditha.
However, I would not 'think' she is 'OK'.

Keep an eye on her.  

Deanna:

Please tell Juditha that I send her much love, and to please, please, don't try again.

She might want to read this NDE.  It doesn't involve a suicide attempt, but there are things within she might find helpful.

http://www.near-death.com/wallace.html

Dear Deanna, Old Dood is right she needs to be put under psychiatric care "now immediately”. She should be hospitalized. This type of person will commit suicide if no adequate intervention is brought to bear. In my view based on my experience with mentally disturbed persons this is an urgent matter or you would not have brought it up in the first place. It is a matter of urgency my dear.

Love

alan.

Dear Deanna

I am so sorry to hear this. Please tell her I send her love and peace. I hope she will be back here posting very soon.

Lucy

I hope Juditha will feel better soon.
She and her husband may love each other, but as we all know, there are complicated partnerships. I guess Juditha thinks she would bother her loved ones with her problems, so she didn't know what to do. It would be a good idea if she had someone, a professional, whom she could call anytime when she is feeling bad, someone she could trust. It would be great if such a person could be found. Because what she did is indicating that she is suffering, and that she wants and needs someone who can help her. And she communicated it with an exclamation mark.

Spooky

hi Deanna, it may be hard to get her to see someone for help so I think a good idea, as her sister, to visit once a day, sort of just be there for her, u don't have to hang out to long, but it's like watching her closely and letting her know you are there. she may or may not lean on you for emotional support, but I'm sure your love will effect her spirits.

I will be sending support to you two and I want her back here too. love, alysia

Dear Deanna,

Thank you for bringing this news to us. I know it is hard to share.

We love Juditha very much here, and we care about her and about you, and about all of her loved ones, as you have become part of our family here.

Please give Juditha my love, and tell her we are here for her, and that she is daily in our thoughts.

love, blink

Dear Deanna,

You have been such a good sister with Judith, but no one can help her as much as a professional. They know where to start and how to untangle the problems she is dealing with. I hope you can convince her to get help.
And also, be good to yourself with enough sleep and nutrition. Your families will appreciate it.
We love you! and Juditha!
Love, Bets

My heart goes out to Juditha.  I think she should have loved ones around her and get support, be it from a psychiatrist, priest, therapist, or enlightened friend.  

When she is more settled, she should be shown examples of the consequences of a successful suicide, either with examples from NDE.com or just by calm discussion.  

My prayers will go out to her tonight.  I am sure that others on this forum will pray for her as well.

Love,

Matthew

 Hi Deanna, i'm sorry to hear about the stuff going on with your sister, my heart goes out to you both and the rest of your family and friends.  

 I can only imagine that you are probably pretty upset right now, but i do want to mention that if i was your sister, and going through what she has been going through, i'm not sure i would overly like a public site to know the specifics or details of my trials.   It's enough to mention that she is going through a rough and personally challenging time, but let her be the one to decide if she wants to mention the details or not.   I know you are twins, and are very, very connected, but you are still different and unique at the same time.

 I second Bets advice too, because i sense this might be an issue as well.   Having gone through severe depression (which got pretty suicidal at one point) for awhile myself, i found that my diet and general physical health state had quite the effect on my emotional/mental state.  The more i changed my diet and exercise habits to more positive and healthy ones, the better i began to feel emotionally and mentally too.  

 If you would like any pointers in that direction, please feel free to p.m. me, and i can suggest some books and info along those lines.  

Deanna,
Assuming you have to work for a living and cannot keep a 24/7 eye on your sister I would strongly suggest getting other family members (And Close friends) involved to help out.

Set up a 'Tag-Team' so Juditha is ALWAYS with someone 24/7.
Even get her husband to chip in.
Also if he tries to bring his own problems into the picture remind him that it is not all about HIM. Other words: "Me...Me...Me..." B.S. It is also not a 'Blame Game' either.  Don't allow it. Be 'kind' but firm as nails.
It is about his wife that he has set a commitment toward when they got married.
It is time he stands up and takes responsibilty.

Once again I do not know you or your sister or even anyone in your family however, this is what family is ALL about.  Closing ranks and doing whatever is needed to be done.

I forgot to say, you know, Deanna, that your sister has seemed depressed for quite some time. She may need the help of a doctor. I would not normally suggest it, because I am not an authority on these things, but she might certainly be helped with some antidepressants for a short time, if she has not already tried this route.

My sister's life was saved by antidepressants. I do not think she would be alive today without them.

If I were Juditha I really would consider giving it a try, just for a while. She has been going through so much, and the stress may be too severe.

I think if I had not tried them for a while last spring I would be having some troubles right now. Just a short period of time, four months or so, a combo of antidepressant and tranquilizer, was all I needed at the time.

Ultimately, I chose not to continue them. Some of my family were not happy that I discontinued them, and some of them were very happy. The main benefit I received, I think, was that it made clear to me that I had several realities from which to choose.

I really could choose how I would like to feel, as long as I was willing to accept the context in which it was offered.

This was brought into a clearer focus for me by taking this risk, and then making some new choices later.

Another exercise which is helping me immensely right now is keeping a gratitude journal. Falling into a habit of finding one thing to be grateful for every morning is changing my life. It takes only one sentence to open up a new world, to begin a beautiful new day.

Please know we care about you both, Deanna.

love, blink

Deanna, Juditha has shaired her depression on this site a number of times. I have little doupt that there is some mental instability currently happening in her life. One thing to know is that people who attempt to kill them selfs are almost always looking for help or for sympathy. If she really wanted to kill her self, she would be dead. Not knowing the personal situation with her husband, its hard to say if he is a good part of the reasoning behind the problem. Don't discount it even if you believe it not to be true and that the "love" is a good one. Next I suggest a good hard and swift kick in the butt. Let her know just how you feel about her display for attention. Offer her as much love as you can without giving acknowledgement or forgiveness to her attempt. The love being the most important part. For you, realize that you can't fix everthing nor do you need to. She is her own person and will do what she wants. Sometimes it may be best to step back and not allow her actions to cause an negative effect on you. You should make an attempt to not allow her poor judgemt to pull you down to her level. Keep your chin high as I know you are doing your best to be a good sister to her and to give her all the love and suport she needs and that you have available right now. Don't mollycoddle her as she will only learn that these negative actions and displays are getting her just what shes looking for. Attention. You should feel no guilt!! Don't allow her to lay some sort of a head trip on you by her actions. Let her know that we love her and will be supportive of her once she feels better but will not condone her actions. My thoughts, I hope thay can be of some help.
Joe

Hi all my dearest friends,i have missed you all so much,i had to change my computer as my other was just went completely and its took me quite a while to do this.

As Deanna has put this on about my attempt to suicide,i feel i have to say what happened,

I was all alone on saturday night in the house and i was so so down about my life  so i attempted this suicide and when i did this everything around me was oblivious,it was like it was just me and what i was doing and i wadsnt even feeling the pain of the cuts i had done,i know i started then on my wrists ,only my son walked in and stopped me,i only know that all i wanted was to be free of the pain inside me,i just wanted to die.

Deanna came down and talked to me and i had my arms bandaged and they are beginning to heal,my son and my daughter brought home to me what i had done and could not beleive what i did ,tryed to leave them and i didn,t just hurt me ,i hurt them very much as well and they made me feel ashamed of what i had done to them.

My doctors reffering me to a phychiatrist now and im on medication,i never thought that this would happen to me as i always thought that i would never do suicide ,it just happened at that moment and it made me realise that i was capable of taking my life.

Deanna,s watching over me each day and also my children and at the moment my husband and i want to say that i love you all and thankyou for your love and support you have all sent me on here.

Life is hard and sometimes it can make you feel ,you don,t want life anymore,it makes you feel like you want to find the love and the peace in the spirit world.

Love and God bless   Love  Juditha

Glad to hear you are safe Juditha.

Also, please do not 'feel ashamed'.  

NO ONE is judging you.  No one here especially!

We only want the best for you and your family.

Welcome back, Juditha. :)

You made it into my gratitude journal this morning. You will be there for all time. Or at least until my notebook falls apart.

love, blink :)

Juditha,

In past months, you and your sister have reported that your spiritualist group has not been kind or respectful towards you and your gifts.  When we are depressed, it is important that we find a support group that encourages us and makes us feel good about ourselves.  Otherwise, our present group can be part of the problem rather than part of the solution.  

Have you and Deanna ever explored other churches or spiritual groups to see how loving they are towards you?  There might be an ideal group out there that would welcome you with open arms and make you feel valued and useful.  If you do such exploration, I would not explore by denomination; rather explore by the love you feel when you visit.  The right new group might change your life for the better.

Best wishes no matter what you decide,
Don

Juditha:

Related to what Don wrote, you never know who people at a spiritualist group are communicating with.  Perhaps it would be better to focus on spiritual growth, rather than developing medium skills.



Berserk2 wrote on Jan 17^th, 2008 at 3:00pm:

Juditha, In past months, you and your sister have reported that your spiritualist group has not been kind or respectful towards you and your gifts.  When we are depressed, it is important that we find a support group that encourages us and makes us feel good about ourselves.  Otherwise, our present group can be part of the problem rather than part of the solution.   Have you and Deanna ever explored other churches or spiritual groups to see how loving they are towards you?  There might be an ideal group out there that would welcome you with open arms and make you feel valued and useful.  If you do such exploration, I would not explore by denomination; rather explore by the love you feel when you visit.  The right new group might change your life for the better. Best wishes no matter what you decide, Don

Dear Juditha,

The love, peace and joy of God is inside of you. Let yourself feel God's love. Surround yourself with all of the things you love, too. And as Don mentions, find people that radiant love. It is love that will help you heal.

I'm keeping you in my prayers and meditations.

Much love to you and all your family.

Kathy

Hi Juditha-  
Although it's not always obvious, there are a lot of us who love you and are here for you in any way we can be. I'm glad that you've come through and are getting back into the regular world again.

Incidently, as you review your motives, notice that there is a vast difference between wanting to suicide in order to get out of a terribly frustrating situation - which is actually a desire for a better life - as compared to feeling that nothing has value and life is meaningless etc, which is a sign of an true clinical depression. If what you truly desire is a better life, then you might consider getting pissed off enough to make it happen.  

Family issues can be a nuisance. There is a myth that "love is enough" - but experience teaches us that marriage is built on hard work by both partners. In fact, when both partners start out by working at it, love comes along on its own later. But it doesn't always work the other way around. When the effort of both partners is insufficient, then it's time to work out a separation of some kind by which the family still can get together,  the kids still have parents, and everybody can relax. The goal should be to find a living arrangement in which there can be love, as opposed to the hostility and blame that often is present in such cases. This can be as simple as an agreement to be more involved with one another, or to make love more often, or to have a day off for personal activities once a week, or it can be as extreme as a divorce. In any case, it is not a matter of guilt or blame that things don't work, but simply recogntion that a change is needed because initial planning was inadequate.

It's important to realize that change means that everyone in the family must be involved in changing. It's not something that can be dumped on your husband, nor on you, nor on any other single person, because the dynamic is a family dynamic. If you are seeing a counselor for personal (non-family) issues, that's good. But you can't handle the family in a single personal therapy session. That's not possible, nor is it the purpose of the session. Most therapists know this.

After dealing with your personal (non-family) issues, the family should be included in a family therapy session. To make this fair to all, the family therapist should be different from the personal therapist, otherwise it rarely is effective. (This is a professional observation based on 30+ years of clinical experience.) Those who refuse to cooperate with family counselling are opting out of the family, so you can discount them afterwards as you make future plans.

As a psychic, you have undertaken a relatively bold lifestyle that will bring you into contact with others who didn't stop in time, and who are now feeing pretty wretched in the spirit world. Having had that experience, and having recovered from it, you can use your knowledge for their benefit. This requires you to be as brave as the soldier who is cut off, alone, surrounded, and who still mounts the barricades to attack the enemy. Your chosen lifestye is one that defies death, and it might be useful to put a little reminder of this where you can see it from time to time.

At the same time, you might put up a little reminder that we love you.

PUL
dave

Welcome back Juditha! this makes my day, you're back. Dave has advice for you which resonates with me also.

I think a lot of us have grown fond of you here Juditha and u must know you're safe here from criticism. like who needs that after all you've been through?

I tried suicide twice, once at 14 with pills, and I did a few cuts on my wrist once but wasn't serious that time.
Looking back, gee, I'm sure glad I was unsuccessful! I would have missed out on some wonderful life experiences, like seeing my kids grow up.
Relationship problems you are having are hard work. please don't let a relationship get you that far down. I think back to my 2nd marriage, I wanted to go to counseling as we couldn't even talk. He refused counseling and we ended it.
so I believe it is a shot worth taking if you can get him to go with you and you feel like the marriage can be saved.

What Dave said about getting pissed off enough to make a positive change in your life, well this happened to me also. A couple of times. The positive change came because I needed it bad enough to work myself up to anger, so I could move out of a situation or two I'd gotten myself into, otherwise I would have just stayed stuck.
so utilize your powers of change whatever decision you make about your marriage.

glad you're back honey pie, you little crumpet... [smiley=kiss.gif]

Hi all of you my dear friends I love you all,thanks for all that you have written to me,my husband came back because of my suicide attempt just to give me support but as i am now getting support from my children and Deanna,we have called it a day once and for allbut this time we have parted with a better understanding and have decided to stay friends,no more getting at each other over the reason we are divorceing as we both know now ,we cannot live together anymore,so i feel that i must now sttart to move on in my life and to think positive from now and not negative,i love you all and thanks so much for your love and support .

Love light and God bless   love juditha

THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH MY CARING WONDERFUL FRIENDS FOR ALL YOUR HELPFUL AND KIND ADVICE ABOUT MY SISTER I APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH ,THANKYOU AGAIBN LOVE DEANNA GOD BLESS YOU ALL

Juditha, I feel that you are doing so well, and my heart feels happy knowing you are finding your way through these difficulties. I have remained friends with my ex and it is still sometimes emotional for me, because I occasionally feel a little sadness.

But it is endlessly gratifying to know that we are still genuinely needed and appreciated by each other, and that we have overcome any old resentments. I am greatly looking forward to the day, in fact, when he might find another mate who can share his life with him, and I know he will.

It just takes a long time to get through these things, but having a child to raise is a commitment which you can always hold as a blessing between you. I do sometimes envy you, Juditha, because I never had that. No children, no grandchildren. No siblings nearby with children, no friends with children....except at my job, where they run through the office hallways during office parties screeching and careening and cartwheeling and certainly examining everything within a 360 degree radius with extreme stealth obvious to all.

I guess I've never enjoyed the 24 hour a day variety of childhood except...well, a long time ago.

So, I envy you, Juditha. Please, enjoy your life. You see, vicariously, I secretly do... :)

much love, blink :)

Juditha, I am happy that you have such a loving sister and childern that are offering you their support. You know how much they love you. Although it may have small difficulties at the start, remember it is a new beginning, not an old ending. Cup half full, never half empty.
Love to you and yours,
Joe

Hi Juditha
I'm glad that you came to a new agreement with your ex. Sometimes, in order to love someone, we need to be far enough distant that we don't get involved with the trivia of life because we just don't do it the same way. But love is valuable, even if we can't live together. And kids will learn by example that even though things are changing, there's really nobody to blame. And both parents remain loving, even if they bring in new companions into their personal lives.

In my life I was fortunate to find a wife (not the first) who brought an entire family of 4 kids with her. The oldest (in his 20s at the time) was terribly shocked when she said, "The sex is good," - in fact he still is shocked when she says it, despite the fact that he's matured greatly and runs the cardiac program in his hospital. But they provide an extended family that has merged with me and my daughter. Her ex is a nice guy - I like him, and we get along well. Everyone gets along, and now that their situation is less constricted, my wife and her ex get along quite well too. We all get together and it's OK.

In the same way, the new life awaiting you, Juditha, need not be destructive of the past, but rather it can build on it for everyone's benefit.

dave

Okay...Okay... let me say this this way:

JUDITHA.

I love you, so learn to love yourself too

Life is something precious Juditha, just look at the child you gave "life" to. Is he not precious. Would you take his life? I am sure looking at your picture that you wouldnt. So is your life precious as well. It is unique, it is precious, it is simply one of a kind - just as you are.

However you will never respect your own life until you learn to "love yourself for just being".
Its easy - just go into the bathroom at spend some time infront of that mirror looking back at all the wonderful things which you have done in your lifetime so far.

What wonderful things? The most wonderful things are those which are the simple ones, dear.

You`ve watered a plant and gave it life.
You`ve given birth which gave life.
You`ve smiled at someone and thus gave love.
You`ve hugged someone and thus gave care.
You`ve listened to someones pain and thus gave friendship.
You`ve held a baby animal thus experienced connection.

I bet you can come up with at least 1000 more and that will and can remind you of how truely wonderful you are and that makes you "Juditha" a person worth living as an extention of God ergo LOVE!

Take better care of yourself Juditha, you can take care of yourself better than anyone else can! You finding the love within yourself is far better than making your husband/child etc. take the responsibility for such for you.  and always ask yourself before each step you take: "What would love do now?" and you`ll always come up with the right answer.

Your friend,
Anja

wrote on Jan 17^th, 2008 at 2:02pm:

Hi all my dearest friends,i have missed you all so much,i had to change my computer as my other was just went completely and its took me quite a while to do this. As Deanna has put this on about my attempt to suicide,i feel i have to say what happened,I was all alone on saturday night in the house and i was so so down about my life  so i attempted this suicide and when i did this everything around me was oblivious,it was like it was just me and what i was doing and i wadsnt even feeling the pain of the cuts i had done,i know i started then on my wrists ,only my son walked in and stopped me,i only know that all i wanted was to be free of the pain inside me,i just wanted to die.Deanna came down and talked to me and i had my arms bandaged and they are beginning to heal,my son and my daughter brought home to me what i had done and could not beleive what i did ,tryed to leave them and i didn,t just hurt me ,i hurt them very much as well and they made me feel ashamed of what i had done to them. My doctors reffering me to a phychiatrist now and im on medication,i never thought that this would happen to me as i always thought that i would never do suicide ,it just happened at that moment and it made me realise that i was capable of taking my life. Deanna,s watching over me each day and also my children and at the moment my husband and i want to say that i love you all and thankyou for your love and support you have all sent me on here. Life is hard and sometimes it can make you feel ,you don,t want life anymore,it makes you feel like you want to find the love and the peace in the spirit world. Love and God bless   Love  Juditha

Juditha, Thank you for sharing your emotions with us. I am very proud of you for that takes alot of balls, and your a girl and hmmmm dont think you have those kinda thingy-ma-jigs..  ;)

You and I both "know" that killing oneself will not relinguisch the "pain" as you and I both know that there is an afterlife  and the condition inwhich we go home in, will be the conditional state inwhich one arrives. Think about that just a moment my dearest love.

You have a "lifetime" inwhich to learn to love yourself (not to be misunderstood as being selfish) , but you have to find out "who am I" first.

Are YOU your body or are YOU your soul. Its not selfisch to love both of them honey.

If you were to have succeeded in taking your life, ask yourself now consciously for just a minuite -  "When I would have crossed over, would I still have felt the anguisch as I felt that very moment of committing suicide?" Do you honestly believe that killing yourself would change the way your soul feels? Sweetheart my strength goes out to you this very min. as I know this will be sort of hard to read without sheading a tear. But continue.

Understand that your body is merely a house inwhich your soul lives in, the real Juditha is your soul, so burning down the house inwhich Juditha lives in only gets rid of the house, not the occupant.

Your soul is hurting Juditha, it seems to me that you feel lonely, that you feel unwanted and less desireable than eariler in your years. I have the best medication for such: Its called love for oneself.

Sweetie, I know that you believe in God and I know that Jesus is in your mind. So I remind you that SINCE you know this, you can always find strength and comfort by "loving yourself for those two factors are real for you, no one can ever take them away from you".

This turning point is positive for you, not negative Juditha. You are now more aware of LIFE. It must have shocked you to see that you are capable of such through free will.

Question for you is:
Which road are you going to take.

Are you going to take the road of a victum, blaming society, your surroundings, your life, maybe your upbringing.

Or

Are you going to take the road of a survivor and cast out the negative thoughts by "replacing" them with positive ones such as using the YES word moreoften, or doing something pleasent, even if its only one thing for "yourself" everyday?

See, in being good to your body Juditha, you pet your body.
and in being good to yourself Juditha, you pet your soul.
Your soul rewards you when you pet it, love.

Start replacing the "bad thoughts" with good ones daily.
In doing so you take repsonsibilty for yourself and inwhole you love yourself.

You dont have to be ashamed for what you attempted to do Juditha, however you will have to be ashamed if you ignore why you did it though. I am not ashamed of knowing you inspite of your admitting, matter of fact I am delighted to be able to converse with you.

Juditha, as you can tell - I`ve been there - I am back to tell you, its not what I thought it would be and the anguisch was exactly the same, so I had to make a choice: The choice had to be made only by myself, no one else could even help me make it. I had to choose a change in my inner direction. I am here to tell you that I know that you too can make that change in inner direction and from that moment on you`ll be free from all those grinding negative thoughts - forever - for it is the greatest love of all to love oneself, and that truely is the love of God!

Incidently I want to tell you something else too. Once you learn to love yourself, you won`t be co-dependant on what others think, say or do concerning "you", for then you have found your best friend right within yourself. And all those times inwhich you yearn for the acceptance of others will vanish, you begin to radiate a whole new frequency of "light". Welcome, you are now a survivor, like myself and you can build a whole new lifes direction on that by spreading love and light.

Hugs,
Nanner

Hi nanner You are so right about me feeling less disirable,lonely and unwanted which were some of the reasons i decided that night to give up on life and also that i have got to learn to love myself which is something i'm finding hard to do at the moment but i made a bit of a step forward today,i went clothes shopping with Deanna and i brought myself  some nice shirts and tight fitting jeans to flatter my figure,which is something i have not done for a long while and this gave me a lift today to have done this also me and Deanna went for a meal and we have apple and blackberry crumble and custard which was lovely but it made me feel so good to have done this today.

I started to think of the hymn called "One day at a time sweet Jesus,thats all i'm asking from you,just give me the strength to do everyday,what i have to do,yesterdays gone sweet Jesus,tommorow may never be mine,just help me today,show me the way,one day at a time",I was singing this in my head today when i was up the town with Deanna.

God bless you nanner for your loving and encouraging words,God's love and light surround you.   love juditha

Juditha sweetie you are definately on the right track. OOOOH tight fittin jeans, you say huh. Watch out folks Juditha is out there and is turning some heads!

There ya go gal, go out there and show the world what the Lord has in YOU. Thats truely showing love to God Juditha. Showing love in the form of being happy for that which IS. Namely "YOU".

I love the way you are replacing the negative with the good thoughts. You`re working your way back to the highest form of being, have you noticed And once you have climbed that hill, then look back only one more time and that to say goodbye to the "old Juditha", waving her goodbye in loving memory but letting her go`, then skip like you use to do as a kid, skip singing and showing off the new Juditha!

The one whom is not scared of living a life "for herself", not by herself!

And watch out, if you continue to follow my light, the guys out there will all try to snatch you all at once and that can be a pain in the brain too! Find a happy middle way love.

But on another note, you probably asked me "a long long time ago" to remind you of how wonderful you are and because I am a tiny little soul just like you I agreed to do so out of love for you.

Hugs to you,
Nanner