I'm not sure if I'm having an abnormal obsession with thinking about death lately or not.   :-/ It seems death is surrounding me this year particularly.  The death of my father.  Which brought renewed thoughts of my mother's death.  My brother's suicidal thoughts.  The death of my long term relationship with my ex-fiance.  Death in the animals and people that died in the floods here in Washington state the last week. Death of my neighbor's sweet dog.  Death seems to be everywhere.  So here's my plea.  How does one make peace with death?  It seems to be increasingly a big part of my life.  How does one make peace with one's own death?  How does one prepare?  None of us know how we will die, so how does one prepare for the event?  What if it's sudden, is there some way to train the mind to be so at peace with death that there's no fear even in a sudden transition?  Perhaps I'm being too morbid.  I would just like to make peace with this thing called Death. :-/

Then you are exactly where you should be. Here, thinking about death. I think that's the very cure, right there, facing it, living with it, sharing thoughts and feelings about it.  Because it's not really a thing, but a process, and it doesn't seem to have a beginning or an end. But, for me, thinking about death has just become another way of thinking about life. In fact, it has become the foundation for life.

How precious are the joys of our life! And how rare that we truly see them! Who will help us?

How much my heart is with you.

love, blink :)

Lorri,


wrote on Dec 8^th, 2007 at 2:16am:

I'm not sure if I'm having an abnormal obsession with thinking about death lately or not.   :-/   I would just like to make peace with this thing called Death. :-/

What you describe has all the signs of what I call a belief system crash, what some might call an Identity Crisis.  For me whenever someone close to us dies, we of course grieve their loss.  But something that seems to be less understood is the effect of the loss on our own identity.  That person close to us in a way had become a part of our own identity, when that person leaves, through death, divorce, moving to a distant city, leaving home, etc. the part of my identity they had become dies or leaves with them.  At a feeling level this feels like a death.

For example, let's say I get married.  I go from identifying myself as a single man to being a married man and my spouse becomes part of my identity.  I am now (at least by the standards I grew up with) a husband, a provider, a protector, etc.  If I later divorce I am now longer those things and at a feeling level I experience this as the actual death of those parts of me.  The husband, provider, protector, etc. parts of my identity die and I will go through a pattern of feelings, or symptoms, as a result.  I most likely will experience:

Depression;
Disorientation;
Disassociation;
Wondering if you’re going insane;
Feeling like there is a big, unfillable hole in me;
Feeling like you don’t know who you are any more;
Feeling like you’ve lost your purpose in life;
Feeling grief as if someone close to you has died, but you don’t know who;
Feeling like someone else is thinking within your mind;
Feeling like your world is crashing down around you;
Feeling like you might die soon;
Feeling like you should die;
Finding yourself thinking about suicide;

With the loss of so much and so many people close to you over such a short period of time I would be very surprised if you did not recognize this pattern of feelings in your experience.  In my view it is entirely normal to be experiencing these feelings with such big changes to your identity, but, just because it is normal doesn't mean it's fun or needs to continue beyond the grieving process.  So, what to do about feeling better?

I suggest that since it is change to our identity that is the root cause of the feelings working at the level of our identity is where to focus.  Specifically, there is a re-integration of our new identity with what is left of our old identity that needs to take place.  As this reintegration proceeds this pattern of uncomfortable feelings will subside, heal, and fade into the background.  The simplest way to get this process started is to sit down and make a short list of things you really liked to do before the loss.  Ideally, these will be things you liked to do that did not involve the people in your life that died, or that you like to do before you knew that person (when possible).  Maybe you used to love to go to the zoo by yourself, maybe you loved to go sailing, maybe you liked to curl up in a blanket and read romance novels.  It doesn't matter what it is, just pick something on your list and Do It.  Why?

Those things on the list are parts of your identity that existed before the crash.  By doing them you are anchoring yourself to your previously existing identity and then integrating your new identity into who you were before the crash.  I know it may sound silly but I have seen it work in countless cases of identity crisis or belief system crashes.

I don't like to give people uninvited advice but when you asked, How does one make peace with death? I took that as an invitation.  For some of the changes, being so recent, there is still the grief of recent loss.  But overall, I would suggest, when you are ready, sit down and start making that short list.

Bruce

i agree Lori, that writing stuff down on paper or internet diary is so helpful when dealing with the stress of deaths in our lives, the unknown does seem to be a fearful thing, mainly the grief part of it lingers on..but writing it down, personally, the feelings and thoughts, my mind begins new let in new possibilities for healing that deep grief when it seems we are to be separated from family or loved ones..they were our support system, now we have none it does seem like.

I don't think you are obsessed with death. I know the tendancy is to blame one's own self whenever a death occurs, as if we could have prevented it somehow, or in my case, it was the loss of my ex to death, and my guilt trip was I knew he was checking out in the not to distant future and I had failed to tell him how much I loved him, even if we had done our divorce, still, he was there for me and I didn't feel I had been there for him enough. so it sounds like you had an ex too, but the relationship continued in warmth despite the no longer being engaged.

Making peace with death is a process over time. In my case, I started to make peace with death back in the 80's when Mike left. I thought I was prepared for death. I wasn't at all. Even though I could get messages from him and he did come thru loud and clear once in awhile, and I was what one would call psychic, being psychic did not allow me to escape the incredible loss, sense of separation from him. I didn't even know how much I had enjoyed just hearing his voice on the phone. seems we don't miss our water until the well runs dry.  there is light at the end of the tunnel..what a pun!
it wasn't so much making peace with death as it became making peace with Mike's soul choices to be leaving this plane. I don't believe in accidents or coincidences anymore. so it became a mental stress to learn about what death is, and how it's appearance is not what it seems to be. It seems we can't escape it, we flee, but it follows to study this area.

since those first crucial days of the loss I continued to study belief system crashes and identity crashes that Bruce speaks of and saw I could change what I believed, I could reach for more possibilities for my growth if I could just take charge of myself and not let myself go too far into the gloom of it all. If those on the other side are bonded with you, they see your depression and come try to fix it. which is what Mike did, if he hadn't come, I would have remained an angry person forever. I was angry he left which led to depression and depression can lead to a compromised immune system as well in the physical area. It really hurts when they come to see you, personally speaking, but it was a beautiful hurt at the same time, that he would try to help me.

your loved ones may be surrounding you, and you might not be aware of it, when you are feeling depressed; if you open to them your heart, you will remember the love they gave to you and this may enable some further knowings and some peace with death.

love to you, I know how much it hurts. alysia http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/spiritvideo/Alysia/myspace2/myspace4/Heartfillwithlove.gif
also you will notice a blink on blink off cycle to grief/and/or depression. you will not be suffering constantly. during the blinking off of grief, turn inward and allow yourself to think of healing that will come; is a good time then to write down things.

Hi Lorri. Sounds like you are in the middle of a tough patch, but don't worry - the sun always comes out again.

For what it's worth death if we can stop resisting what's going down and stay with it (simply accept the reality, live with the groundlessness of it all and trust the right thing is happening even if we don't quite yet know why) is one of the most  powerful forces for opening there is. It's not for nothing that spiritual traditions the world over talk in these terms. Don Juan (Carlos Casteda's teacher) for example is quoted as saying something along the lines of 'live life as though death sits on your left shoulder'.

My own brush with the possibility due to illness in 2005 seems to have a been a big factor in triggering emotional opening. I also know this elderly lady who truth be told is not the most pleasant ever - she's chronically fearful, is manipulative, has herself cast in 'victim' mould, and consequently spends her time bad mouthing people and looking for reasons to be 'put upon'. No matter how much those around her try to help it makes no difference - no sooner are they out the door than they are the butt of the most scathing criticism.

This lady survived a very serious illness some years ago, and interestingly enough was as pleasant as you could imagine for a month or two afterwards. Then over the following months the ego reasserted itself, and the nastiness came back stronger than ever.

As Bruce is indirectly saying death stops our egotistical carry on in a shot. Our mind made delusional world collapses. If it comes close enough this effect (barring the most determined and delusional resistance) is pretty much inevitable.

If not quite so close it's more a matter of choice, and of how empathetic or compassionate we are - it can do so if we can connect with what's going on and not close to it or become defensive. We close by ignoring what's going on, by rationalising it away, by taking ourselves out of the situation or by frantically engaging in diversionary activities or whatever.

Death is inevitable, there's not one of us that may not be buried in a week's time. At the most prosaic level it's a hurry up to live our lives like we mean it. At higher levels of consciousness it's perhaps much less of an issue than we like to think, but I guess the message is perhaps to try while staying as light as we can't (obsessing about it just builds fear or whatever) to use the opportunity to learn.

It's perhaps ultimately a matter of view - there's a lot of ways of looking at it, and lots has been written. Pema Chodron has lots to say on the more enlightened (in her case Buddhist) way of looking at it in her deceptively easy but profound book 'When Things Fall Apart': http://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1570623449

Hi Lorri-
Death is part of life in the same sense as sleep at night is part of our daytime activity. It is neither to be feared nor embraced, but simply accepted, much in the sense that the weather must be accepted. That doesn't make it convenient, but it displaces it from panic to anticipation.

Bruce's term "belief system crash" is about as good as any to describe what you are feeling - and what all of us felt as we passed through this particular cosmic knothole. If you look at his list of typical self-inflicted mental ailments, you might notice that in all of them there is the tendency to cling to ego, status quo, "who I think I am today". That kind of thinking leads to resistance, but in this case our ability to resist death is no greater than our ability to resist the weather. The only solution is to embrace dying as part of our total nature, and plan for it in those terms. That both sets aside the everyday definitions of ego, and also retains a more advanced sense of self as a transcendental being.

As an example, when the Dalai Lama was asked what all his meditation etc was for, he replied that it was in preparation for death. Thus, by developing their specific belief and practice patterns, we see monks and nuns who have embraced death as a part of their normal pathways, and who now live with a toe in the hereafter.

The basic cure for a "belief system crash", in any field, is to notice where it leads, so that we too can live with a footing in the next phase of existence. That means looking at the way our ideas are working for us. In this case, they have led to us face to face with death, and are now becoming reordered and rearranged so as to produce the next higher level of integration of knowledge. That higher level "destroys" the prior level by simply transcending it, integrating all the awkward parts into a new, and usually unsuspected, fresh understanding. It is precisely this that makes meditation on death so valuable and rewarding. Notice that Blink, Alysia, Bruce and Vajra have all said much the same thing.

While looking for a way to reintegrate ourselves into a new understanding of the cycle of life and death, it is usually most helpful to render aid to others. As a friend of mine used to tell me, "Whenever you're lonely, or tired, or sick, do something nice for somebody, quick." There are lots of obvious reasons for this, as well as the basic fact of creating good karma, a tendency for others to help you, simply because of who and what you are. For this purpose, Bruce has kindly provided training in soul retrievals. This is aid, provided directly to others who are still stuck in their ego-attachments because they failed to prepare for transcendence in death. By providing this, we also help ourselves. Indeed, we are, in a very real sense, no different from those whom we assist.

There are some wonderfully nurturant souls on this forum, all here for you. And, as Vajra pointed out, we can all keep faith in the sun, even on rainy days.

dave

Thank you ALL that responded to my entry.  Wow you are all so wise!  I'm very impressed.  There is so much to absorb from all the entries, and so much to learn from and ponder.  I greatly appreciate that, because now I can take these ideas and incorporate them into my daily living, as I reorganize who I am now.  It is exactly how you all say, an identity crisis.  I have hope that I can make this transition now slowly, and with the aid of wise people such as yourselves.  You all really know the human heart very well, and I feel fortunate to have your wisdom to help me through.  Writing is an excellent idea, and something I have started and stopped before thinking people would think I was crazy if they ever read it.  I see more and more the universality of people's experiences and that I am not as abnormal as I was thinking I was.  I am going to be taking each entry and pondering it, and writing the ideas that thoughts and feelings that come to my mind.  I think this really will help me to unravel the fear and sadness and make meaning out of i and even growth.  It seems like a long process and I know it is, I just have to remember to be patient and not beat myself up when things don't go as "I" think they should.  Thank you for your time and very kind support.  I hope to be writing more and reading more on this board as it has proven to be a great source of wisdom.
Thank you again.  My heart is with you all.

Lorri

I'm glad you seem uplifted Lori, I live for such reports you have just given us. love, alysia

Thinking back - not too very long ago - I recall that dying seemed to be a tremendous nuisance. It was an interruption to my playtime, and as my various systems began to go off line, I really felt wretched. How unfair to deny me of the idle pastimes I had been enjoying. I even had to ask a friend to return the down payment on his little airplane because I was physically unfit to fly, at least according to the Flight Surgeon. - Oy vey is mir! Catsstrophe.

And then I stopped and went a little deeper into my usual evening meditation and realized that what I'm doing here and now is only temporary. This is an isolating place wehre we live with the bitter dregs of creativity, reducing everything to its ultimate mechanical and logical limits. Thus we have walls to bump into, holes into which to fall, and occasionally a glass of sour wine. (I have yet to gather the courage to spit it out all over the head waiter, although the urge has occasionally been present when something has travelled especially badly!)

And as we wander through this crystallized extract of the true and dynamic reality, we are limited to cow paths - some crossing here, some there, some crossing more than once.  I initially met my wife when very young an immature, and our paths diverged. Then they came together again 30 years later - she saw my name in the phone book and called out of curiosity - I thought she was selling insurance. But we worked it out. Other paths have diverged, costing me access to a few of my old friends, my parents, and my wife's parents.

After a while, I began to realize that in fact, this life, which we defend so vigorously, is a limited, and ultimately a minor fraction, of our true nature as totally free and totally creative elements of the same God-stuff of which the universe arose. Death seems to be a tremendous separation - a  terrible forced march into the vast Unknown. In fact, when we look a bit closer, death is a return to our true home. In every case in which I asked a regressed person about it, they have told me that this world is terribly limiting, but they have to be here because of their hangups - their material attachments and attitudes - and in every case, they'd rather stay in the spirit world with all of their friends and loved ones.

It's mostly a bit of shortsightedness that leads us to view death as a dissolution and termination. A more valid expression would be Homecoming. A return to love, to joy, to awareness, as Co-Creators with Godhead, having a wonderful time playing with the universe. - And I guess that when offered that, I can even give up my little airplane - darn it! ;-)

PUL
dave

:) Nice post!!!  ;) Not bad for a non empathetic old rationalist!!!!

Wow that was a beautiful post Dave.  When you put death  in terms like that it seems silly to be so caught up in this life.  I guess it's like going to a movie and getting lost in the movie temporarily and then coming back to everyday life.  I know there are people here in this forum who have had a glimpse of Home, and what it's like when we leave our temporary earth homes.  These glimpses that are shared certainly bring hope. Sometimes I wish I could remember what Home is like, but maybe it's better that I don't, or this life would be completely unbearable remembering how wonderful Home is.  One moment there is great joy on this earth, and the next moment it can all be taken away.  I am watching an  ABC television show that is dedicated to giving families in need new homes to live in and improving their lives.  When I see the dedication this young couple has to their serverely handicapped child and how little they get by on  it amazes me the power of the human spirit to endure and overcome and even thrive in the face of incredible day to day challenges.  I still wonder what it is that inspires some people to meet and face so many obstacles in life and make something beautiful out of it, and then others just crush under the weight of it all.  I think having a sense of purpose and reason for all that happens must make a real difference in making it or breaking down.  The knowledge that there is something  better and that this is all just temporary can certainly give a person a lot of hope.  Thank you for your very eloquent words, it nourishes my soul.

Lorri

I just wanted to thank you all again.  I've been reading the postings over again, and again wow.  Alysia, vajra, blink, Dave, Bruce and everyone you are all such beautiful people.  How can I ever thank you for sharing your widsom.  I know others will benefit from reading your answers as well.  Thank you so much.

Lorri :)

Hi Lorri dear,
My advice may be a bit "morbid", as you had stated your own statements to be, however I would never the less like to attempt to give you some food for thought.

You state: It seems death is surrounding me this year particularly. Lorri honey, "death" has been surrounding you all your life, the only difference is, that your consciousness level prohibited you from "feeling", "noticing" "allowing".

The more you are confronted with the topic the more you will learn about the "topic" all together. You have to admitt that you are learning , becoming more aware as you go along right? We all are proud of you for you`re reaching out.

---

I found a really nice website today, which I would extend to you but its written in german. So I will try to reherse some exceprts from it FYI.

The website explains that our lovedones see, hear and feel our thoughts, wishes and words, actions. It hurts them worse (pending on degree of relationship) to see, feel and hear us morn as we tend to do, considering that we miss them, right? So we recieve certain "winks" ;) in our everyday lives, some are noticed by us. These winks are there to let us now that our loved one is well off and "alive", but we tend to believe "half hearted", and think we are "seeing" things, "loosing our minds" or whatever.

Imagine how your daddy would feel when you get to the point inwhich you can say:
"Daddy I`m learning as fast as I can, I understand that you are NOT dead, but that you have merely traded in your form of vehicle to move about with, I no longer fear the pain daddy I am instead enjoying my newly acquired information and will see you and mom again one day"..

AND THEN HONESTLY BE CONVINCED OF YOUR WORDS!

How would your daddy & mom feel when you can say that love?

When you answer that question to yourself, then you`ll know how far along learning you have already gone.

Luv ya,
Nanner

Hi All,

This is such a beautiful thread... full of powerful knowledge of the afterlife. I feel so grateful to be part of this revelation about death. I am just sadden that a lot of our love ones on Earth are not aware of this beautiful knowledge - to them, death is IT. Thus, they live life being scared of death.

Have any of you been successful in helping you family believe in the afterlife? I have not been successful. They just make fun of me that I bought Bruce's books and cd's. It's like a joke in the family.."Linh the gullible one who spend $50 on some "Afterlife" Cds..."

Do you think one day this knowledge will be a mainstream? Imagine how great the world would be if everyone knows that life is transitional and that there is a more beautiful place after death... indeed, people would not have so many hang ups about living.

Hi Linh,

Several people have mentionned big changes around them regarding more positive attitudes about the afterlife. there certainly are more websites on related matters like near death experiences, etc. So I'm optimistic that the understanding is spreading.  I hope it hits your relatives soon so they quit kidding you!

Most of my relatives are the same as yours. Maybe their next 'teachable moment' will be when I pass over and speak to them from the other side.  :D
I'm not going to vow to do it because maybe when I get there, I'll have other things I need to do, but if I get a chance I will.  But they have to be ready too or they'll think it's 'just' a dream.  :)

Love, Bets

Don't worry Linh, that's always the way it is. There's only ever a few at a given time open to what quite literally amounts to a very different view of our total reality.

It's a finely balanced thing for most of us anyway. Some of us have had some esoteric experience that's at the time been very convincing as to the fact that death is not the end, but I suspect that even with that we have our 'oh sh1t' moments too. I do anyway. The thinking aspect of mind has an amazing ability to twist thing around in our darker moments.

Working with others in the way you describe is not easy, and takes a lot of skill. Many have decided in absence of even the experience some of us have that (unsurprisingly) death is the end. As a view it's got its downsides, but also some big advantages. It's no surprise they are reluctant to accept what in truth may only be somebody else's recently acquired beliefs.

Trouble is that over time denying death becomes part of the ego - their belief system. This can ultimately cause some very big problems in their lives, but it can work for a long time and they really do not want to have that view disturbed. Trying to share an alternative view basically does this, and will if they feel threatened enough generate anger and hostility.

So if you're going to work in this scene you have to tread softly. Maybe demonstrate the validity of the path you are on by its effects on you. Don't push your views - it just causes people to reinforce the cocoon or shell of beliefs they have built around themselves. Some you'll get through to, others you won't. Inevitably the time will come when death is around. In many cases it will undermine people's belief systems and create the opportunity to get through.

I posted some Buddhist links on relating to death in everyday life above. (Pema Chodron) if it comes down to it somebody like Elisabeth Kubler Ross in 'On Death and Dying' has some very practical things to say about helping people a little closer to the wire who are facing some of these ultimate realities....

Oh, yes, Linh, people are so hungry for knowledge, but they are not always sure what those inner promptings that they receive are all about. Talk about whatever you please, but, yes, there will be resistance to some of it, at times.

People like to imagine that justice and its related folly, revenge, is what matters...but that just scares them. And talking about love, well, that's just too d*&n uncomfortable.

So, maybe just in little bits and pieces, we can learn to understand each other. We give hope to each other, a little bit at a tiime.

Perhaps the little joke about the angel on your shoulder is quite enough, at one time or another.

love, blink :)


Linh wrote on Dec 10^th, 2007 at 5:51pm:

Hi All, This is such a beautiful thread... full of powerful knowledge of the afterlife. I feel so grateful to be part of this revelation about death. I am just sadden that a lot of our love ones on Earth are not aware of this beautiful knowledge - to them, death is IT. Thus, they live life being scared of death. Have any of you been successful in helping you family believe in the afterlife? I have not been successful. They just make fun of me that I bought Bruce's books and cd's. It's like a joke in the family.."Linh the gullible one who spend $50 on some "Afterlife" Cds..." Do you think one day this knowledge will be a mainstream? Imagine how great the world would be if everyone knows that life is transitional and that there is a more beautiful place after death... indeed, people would not have so many hang ups about living.

we've shifted our focus on this thread over to "when are our families and friends going to cut us a little slack?" :)

I recall the question came up some months ago, a member who seldom comes to visit showed up and asked why he cannot tell them about his retrievals and obes without getting laughed out of town. :-?

my conjectures are because we get laughed out of town, or rejected, or not listened to, or blown off is because sort of like Ian suggested, theres one of us in every family, in every marriage, in every office setting, in every neighborhood, theres an odd person. I call it a plant. like you're supposed to be there, even if it's hard to be this one who is odd man out.
In other times, some that are odd, they used to get put away somewhere or burned at
the stake in more serious type historical happenings.

its for sure we are all learning stuff, whatever focus we are in, whatever profession, we are always learning how to get along, how to open our minds and hearts to more wonders, greater areas of our being here on physical plane, limited plane, but we have some great times here nonetheless.

heres my story about Larry. he was a good friend. we had an on and off relationship for 8 years. I had brought him into my life, I thought to be my lover. things didn't turn out quite as expected, so the on/off. Larry was totally left brained. I was the example of total right brained. Nevertheless we had excellent left brained conversations and sometimes ended up in stitches of laughter for our differing perspectives.

Larry said I needed to stop thinking about death so much. obviously, there was something wrong with me. He said I treated life as if it were a sentence I had to carry out. his favorite saying was when I greeted him at the door "Another day in Paradise!"

Right Larry.  :P Yet Larry taught me a few things. He said happiness was a choice. He said love was also good business practice. I hated to hear that. I made him buy me some flowers.  :D I also had some good points to teach him.
all this beside the point I'm making. or trying to make. Larry avoided the questions of what happens to us after death. He said he would just wait and see; he was having too much fun instructing the whole world how to run their businesses in a logical and organized manner. which was ok. He was a speaker. but not popular. the main thing he said when speaking, was that one should go thru life never forcing an issue on another. so Larry was spreading that ideal, the same as it is in heaven, no guides, no teachers or helpers on the other side can force an issue, but everything is done in complete gentleness when the person is ready to release an error of thought, as in a retrieval circumstance. like free will. free will is exercised by all.

so Larry up and dies. All those years I knew him, I never got to talk much to him as Larry was a speaker. He did most the talking. When he listened to me, I could see he was trying to hear what I said very hard, and these are the times we would bust out laughing sometimes if I could get my viewpoint across. like a few aha moments.

So he left and he told me he was dying. he was afraid he said, in a dream/obe, he was afraid all his hard work and studies he would have to leave now, he asked me to carry on for him in a way, the symbols were book shelves lined with many books, for he was quite the left brained reader and gained much. He liked Ann Rand type of material too.

he was like a politician. I used to say Larry, what I heard about politicians, you don't wanna hear! naturally he's curious. I tell him politicians are the last refuge of a scroundral. haha. picked that up from a song.
I forget his retort. probably made him go out and buy some more flowers for me!   ;D

so he dies. One day he returns to me in his spirit. I was in the kitchen not expecting to hear from him from the other side, I am not a medium. I hear in my head his tone of voice, just like I heard my husband's voice when he passed on. guess what he said first?

Howdy howdy! These are the words he used to say in greeting me, just before he would say it's another day in paradise. Larry was habitual to say this.
So I sent telepathy back. I tried some love. he sounded his tone a little sad. I tried to perk him. I told him I missed our emails. I had tried to get him to do alternative healing stuff and not die. he wouldn't do that. so I said I missed him which I did.
after I said that, he said back "you were right. I maybe should have studied this area of transition while I had the opportunity." I'm sorry I made you feel bad that you look at this area so much, unlike me, who was busy fixing the world.

and thats my little story of Larry. I saw him a couple more times on the other side in dreams. One time he said he was looking at our relationship and saw why he was drawn to me and why I was drawn to him.  for a type of balance to occur in our different belief systems and focus points.
he said it was a big awakening that he had not seen this while here. then another time I saw him sleeping. I took that image to mean he was doing a soul relaxation and reflection period and I could not disturb him at that point.

I grew to love him but not as a woman loves a man, it was like fellow journeyers, brother and sister, and I know I will see him again.

love, alysia

That's a profound story Alysia. It also illustrates very nicely that perhaps we shouldn't be too presumptious in demanding a specific type of response from those we interact with.

The reality is that even when we don't seem to get through we potentially have a very profound effect indeed. It's just that it happens at a level that we don't really perceive or can't predict.

I suppose it's a bit like the flap of the butterfly's wing in the far East causing a hurricane a year later in the West Indes. Or whatever.

Maybe our job is just to while being as skillful and loving as we can just keep on putting it out there....

just keep being your self Ian. I don't worry about Larry, he's ok, he used to give himself to others also. a lot his talks were free. he said he had this awesome dream once. he was sitting under a tree, all around him were his pupils and he was with much wisdom. I think he's going to make that dream a reality now.
I don't know how u feel about yourself, but I have greatly benefitted from some of your posts, if only to enjoy reading them, thats a benefit to me.
then I'm not the only one either.
love, alysia