Hi All,

For a couple years, I have become cynical of the afterlife. Why follow the strict narrow, boring path of being good if we just die and disappear from the face of the Earth? Who cares about others -  I should focus only on my own happiness since life is short. (Yeah, it was my dark stage in life.)

With the recent death of my grandmother, I started reevaluating life in general. First, I realized that we are all in the same boat - all going to lose our love ones to death. Every one of us will suffer the lost of someone they love dearly.

Then, I asked the question, "what is the point of suffering?". As I was driving home Monday, the  answer came to me on KOST 103.5 (a California radio station). Every year, KOST grants a wish for their listeners during the holidays. One lady called in asking that KOST help clean her house since both her husband and herself have been through surgery and cannot clean the house (parents were coming over). She had cancer while her husband lost his job after a work related accident. Of course, KOST granted her the wish. What was profound was the fact that even though she was going through a lot this year, she and her family were closer than ever. Now that is unconditional love!

In this day and age of people being selfish and hedonistic, most people would get a divorce if they went through what this family went through. Like the saying, "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." Well instead of getting out of the kitchen, this family stayed closer together. WOW!

So, I realize that to experience geniuine PUL, you do have to go through some sort of suffering in life. When something bad happens, we can choose to wallow in pity and treat our love ones mean or we can accept that as part of our life lessons and just hold our love ones closer to our hearts unconditionally.

Some how our society has lost THAT understanding about life. When things are great and wonderful, we are in love. But when life starts to get bumpy or rough, we start blaming each other and attacking each other. Slowly the love dies and we end up getting divorces. I was very close on this path... until I saw the light...

Alysia - I live in Los Angeles, California, not in China. (But I am Chinese, though).

Linh:

I agree with much of what you shared.  It is up to us to make the best of it (which is easier to do when we look at the big picture), and often the travails we go through help us learn to love. Perhaps we could've been provided with mental programs that automatically cause us to love no matter what, but perhaps for the sake of self determination we've been provided with a means to do so on our own.

Hi Linh, I will have to look up epiphany, but sounds like your in a much better place or viewpoint today so good on you!

I know we all have that choice whether to view life, as a cup half empty or half full, and you are moving to it's half full viewpoint. I'm glad you could turn yourself around so quickly like that. thanks for posting here, I'll bet a lot of folks could relate to what you told us.

love, alysia

Hao ding hao.

Alysia:

Depending upon what dictionary you look at, you might not find the definition you're looking for when you look up the word epiphany. For example, the version I have at work says "a Christian festival (Jan. 6) commemorating the revealing of Jesus as the Christ to the Gentiles."

Most of the time when I've seen or heard the word used, a different meaning is intended.  For example Linh seems to mean, a revelation,  an important understanding, an insight.



LaffingRain wrote on Dec 6^th, 2007 at 6:47pm:

Hi Linh, I will have to look up epiphany, but sounds like your in a much better place or viewpoint today so good on you! I know we all have that choice whether to view life, as a cup half empty or half full, and you are moving to it's half full viewpoint. I'm glad you could turn yourself around so quickly like that. thanks for posting here, I'll bet a lot of folks could relate to what you told us. love, alysia

Recoverer: Yep, that is what I mean by Epiphany! An eye opener about life.

Alysia: Are you the same person as the Alysia (an ex member) from 2005?

 I also enjoyed hearing about your epiphany Linh.   You pretty much summed up what i both think and feel is the most important thing that any person could become aware of.   Exploration of consciousness, psychism, theory, beliefs, etc. are all interesting things, but it's what you shared above that really matters and what causes us to be happy or filled with suffering at the end of the day.     It's what some spiritual teachers came to expressly teach, and mostly by pure example.

  The only thing that i would add, is that this love and caring needs to become more universal and impersonal before a person can really become truly fulfilled and happy again.   Because personal relationships..well we can't control them or other people and they can and oft do let us down at some point.   I've been let down a lot in this life, and in some very painful ways, and i realize now that this was pre set up by my Greater self (Soul, Spirit, etc.) so that i could learn detachment towards personal love and relationships, and really push me to focus more on universal and impersonal love.   Yet, i'm still married, it's just that both my wife and i try not to make each other more special to each other than others are.   We've started to cultivate an odd combination of a greater Oneness with each other, and yet at the same time more independence and detachment.

 While i'm not Buddhist, i do very much like a lot of Buddha's teachings, especially the ones addressing attachment and suffering.

Greetings,

Linh said:


Quote:

Some how our society has lost THAT understanding about life. When things are great and wonderful, we are in love. But when life starts to get bumpy or rough, we start blaming each other and attacking each other. Slowly the love dies and we end up getting divorces. I was very close on this path... until I saw the light...

Linh, thanks for sharing your insights!
Bound to human behaviour/feelings, it can happen, that there are desperate tries to grab a hold of comfort.
If a "comforting zone" is found, sometimes one tries to defend it, at any cost. But as it is, the more one tries to grab a hold, the less it will be long-lasting. Not long lasting, because to defend something at any cost, comes a long with a too judgemental approach (that does not mean that you should not stay with an achievement you made, but either viewing it as being part of the big picture, there it is helpful in two ways, to serve your purpose according to the "big picture", and a personal gain, growth of the mind).
As it seems, your epiphany was just like this! Being helpful for others and yourself.

Alysia, the analogy of the "half full" and "half empty" cup is a well-chosen reference.
But when looking at life itself, not on our impression of it, isn't it more like the cup is half full and half empty at the same time, as life is not entirely good or entirely bad, it just "is". So the truth obviously lies neither within the half full, nor within the half empty cup, but within both of them put together (the result of putting them together would be the state of just "to be", not emphasising on wether the view is positive or negative). Where the half full and the half empty cup meet, moderation is the result, what might be viewed
as the essence. The moderate state at least gives the opportunity to be less judgemental.

Now if taking what recoverer said about "making the best out of it", it is also what I think what is left for us to do,
it is the chance life offers us, we are a part of it. On the other hand, life owes us nothing, as we gain only that, what we truly achieve, according to a balanced attachment to life (balance between what we view as "good" or "bad").
Isn't it also like the merging of good and bad also delivering the possibility to draw nearer to oneness?

yours sincerely,

pulsar

Linh wrote on Dec 6^th, 2007 at 7:40pm:

Recoverer: Yep, that is what I mean by Epiphany! An eye opener about life. Alysia: Are you the same person as the Alysia (an ex member) from 2005?

yes, I'm the same alysia... :)
we had a crash one time and I had to build meself anew.

thanks Recoverer. I knew it was something big. :)

good thoughts Pulsar. it all just is. like Monroe's "there is no good, there is no bad" thats kind of what I hear you saying.