Hi I just think that suicide is the deal made before you come into the world as suicide is crossing my mind quite a lot latlely and i can really understand why suicide is commited,you get to the stage where you cant find anywhere to go in the world anymore and its seems to be the best option,i mean theres only so much that one can take and it cant go on and on ,it has to stop somewhere.Partly the reason i refused my heart test because if i was to be totaly honest about that,i just did not care anyway about dieing,i knew this when i really sat and thought about my reasons for refusing it,i always say that suicide is a mental illness of the mind because those who do it just cant take anymore inside,i sometimes have had this feeling of my soul scratching at my ribs to get out of my body that traps it into dealing with life,but ive had this feeling on and off for as long as i can remember.

Suicide is the ultimate end to mental suffering,i go to this centre and i sit there with them all and all they were talking about was suicide at this mental health centre,but there like me its just depression sometimes,mind you some of them will probabaly do it anyway.

This is just what i think of suicide and why some commit it,all depends how strong they are mentally,some can take it ,some cant.

Love and God bless   Love Juditha

Juditha, this maybe a personal question, but what has happened in your life? That makes you contemplate suicide?

I really think you need to look into doing some growth work, meaning find yourself a good healer someone you feel comfortable with and begin the process of releasing all the pain thats traped in your body.

Juditha, I know how it feels to want to leave this dimension, but the truth is your here to grow, thats why your higher self has planed your life as it is. Theres something held within your pain that you are to learn from,it maybe strenght ,it maybe empathy, it maybe compassion. But beleive me there is a reason.

And please dont think that your pain stops for pain is our greatest teacher or that once you pass over your learning stops, for this is not how the hole thing works. All that takes place when you pass is your consciouness is moved into another dimension, it maybe a more expaned and aware dimension, yet it is still one designed so as there are challenges and by that you still have tests. Its all about growth my little lovely, Nothing ever stops, it just keeps going on and on .

Please stay strong, you can do it you can work through these issues and when you do you will see why they where the way they where. You need to look deep within your self to find the answers but the answers are there.

Love to you

Hi Balance Its been so many things in my life since i was 12yrs old,ive not suffered physical abuse from the outside world but mental abuse and ive tried so many times to move forward,but everytime there are barriers put up by others,who dont beleive i have anything to give.The only thing now is at the centre,they are teaching me art and im doing computer courses,which is helping me to know that i am contributing something for myself,its fine at the centre as they make me feel good about what in doing,but as soon as i go back into the ordinary world i face the negativity towards me and sometimes it just makes me feel like giving up,im always asking God to help me to walk my pathway as i know he loves me,so im up and down,one day fine,one day really down about myself,but thanks for writing to me and i realise that your right in what you say about growth and i must keep trying.

Love and God bless  Love juditha

I too have my problems with depression, although most days I'm ok. I don't really know what to say, Juditha, except hang in there, and please talk with someone, anyone, when you are down, because it might help. If we live on after death, you will probably feel much better about not having comitted suicide, and if we don't..well, let's not go there.

Hi Juditha,

I have given up looking for validation from others who happen to be around me.  :P This website gives me more validation in a week than I got elsewhere in a lifetime!  Now that I've accepted that that's the way things are, I'm using my drawing to help create the life I'd like.  
Have you done much writing of spiritual 'fiction'?
The reason I ask is , remember a couple of weeks ago, Alysia said she heard that in the future, people will live in communities where they share a strong common interest?  So I began drawing future houses for people on this website,--- or if that is too personal, for people who are like people on this website, lol.  ;)  My pictures need a fictional story about such a community---could you write the story and use my illustrations?

Now that you've taught me how to get from photobucket to here, (thank YOU very much by the way), I can send you one such house idea and/or maybe plans for the layout of the BMAK village. (It deserves a more poetic name!) Then we could see if we could inspire each other !
I have to go make hubby's lunch and do some errands but I'll post as soon as possible!
Love, Bets

Hang in there Juditha - as above it's the hard bits that tend to really help us to learn, and I don't think that that's a way out as the issues will still be left there to be resolved some other time.

My own experience has been that it took a lot of pain and illness to start to waken me up. To knock  me down to the point where I was prepared to open to the possibility that my take on what mattered in life was wrong.

Much of it I think was karmic (past life) in origin (or just the luck of the draw) in that my life circumstances conspired to condition me to need to go in the wrong headed direction that I did. So that I was eventually faced with issues the avoidance of which required conscious decisions.

Even though my heart had screamed for years that my direction was wrong I didn't listen until 12 years of depression, chronic fatigue and serious illness forced me to start looking inside. Life tapped me gently on the shoulder, then gave me a good shake but eventually had to resort to a heavy slap in the ear to get my attention. ;)

The good news is that right now I'd not trade my life path for another. It was a close shave, and things are (while still not a bed of roses) a lot better now but the result was to force me to confront issues in my life view which had to be resolved to firmly place me on to a path which I'd never have otherwise been open to.

Meditation has been of huge assistance to me - it created space in a very intense, tunnel visioned, driven  and closed mind, and eventually came to give rise at times to a rather magical joy, to the PUL feeling.

Buddhism and similar spiritual perspectives helped enormously too by providing a framework through which to both make sense of what was happening, and to access meditation and the other tools and the vision needed to start getting out.

The resulting space  enabled me to take a wider look at my life, and has allowed me to drop lots of problem causing conditioned behaviours.

Your own situation no doubt is very different, but maybe there's something you can draw from my story which will help. The one thing I've drawn from my experience is that I can trust that life brings us what we need. That while the medicine may be bitter at times that the doctor is infinitely caring and compassionate..

Juditha,

You said . .  i mean theres only so much that one can take and it cant go on and on ,it has to stop somewhere. . .

. . . Suicide is the ultimate end to mental suffering . .

Without exception the thing suicides I have worked with are most troubled by is that after they are dead they discover that suicide DID NOT put an end to their suffering, it only made it worse.  They realized that they took the same awful feelings that caused them to kill themselves with them into their unending, eternal exisitence.  The thing that really upsets these people the most is that they realize that the one thing they need to resolve the issues that led them to suicide is to be physically alive.  

They realize that they decided to be born into the physical lifetime they just prematurely ended with the purpose of working out and resolving the physical world issues that caused a previous suicide in a previous lifetime.  They didn't put and end to their suffering by suiciding, they prolonged their suffering, again. I can almost guaranttee that if you choose to suicide again in this lifetime you will deeply regret it for a very long time afterwords.

So, what does one do if they are contemplating suicide??  I my view seriously contemplating suicide should be a wake up call.  It should be an indication that it is time to get off one's butt and do something constructive to face and resolve the issues that are causing one to consider suicide.  Afterall, that is in all likelihood one of the primary purposes for incarnating in this lifetime in the first place, to face and resolve those issues!  And, facing and resolving the problem is the one sure way of really ending that problem.

 It is a little like going to the dentist for a toothache.  One can put it off and put it off, but the problem causing the pain will not be resolved but refusing to deal with it.  Properly dealt with the problem is resolved, the pain is gone, and we are free to continue our eternal existence free of that pain.

Juditha, we all consider suicide, seriously or not so seriously, at some time in at least one of our lives.  If you were to ask my advice I would say, take it as a wake up call and do something constructive to face and resolve the causes so you can experience your eternal existence pain free.

Love,

Bruce

Well written, Bruce. I'm newish here, so it's nice to finally see a post by you. :) That was your 199th one. May your 200th one be superduperawesome. ^^

Juditha,  I am not sure how old you are except that you are over the age of 12. Everone has the thoughts of suicade at some point in their life(s). Depression can be the most horrible  effiect that one can have as the result of the actions of others.(barriers) I believe that depression is a lession that you are to go through at this time. There is the possibility that by you learning to cope with this personal feeling you have will be one of the most important lessions of your life. in fact it may well be the most important lession of some one close to you's life. I think that it is necessary for you to take back control of your being. You must no longer allow others to have the power over your existence. I know you have so much to offer. Just a few days ago you offered me the assistance I needed. You offer without reservation, and with love. I needed you and you came to the plate. Thank you.    

Hi Bruce,vajra,bets and stjerneeksplosjon and Joe Thanks for all your advice and you have all made me see that suicide is not the answer,,so i am going to keep trying and maybe i will get there in the end and i would love to write that that storie for you bets,i  have written short stories but not spiritual fiction but i will give it a go.Thanks Joe and i have got to stop letting others around my life making me feel this way and thanks for saying i have so much to give and stjerneeksplosjon hang on in there as well i send my love and prayers to you as i know how depression can make you feel,vajra i realise now that im not the only one that suffers from pain and depression and i will try and confront my issues to move forward and bruce i did not realise till you told me that after death from suicide you still take those feelings with you so im going to try and take your advice and try to do something more constructive with my life.
Thanks again to all of you.
Love and God bless you all    Love Juditha

Juditha--- my lovely angel--- your advise, your friendship, your giving and loving unselfishness would be greatly missed here on this planet if you leave us. :'(
I agree with meditation.  It has helped me so very much.  Then, there is constructive writing.  Write poems of beauty, write songs of joy, write a story that will life the spirit of a child.
Next, volunteer yourself to a home for the elderly or a hospice or a hospital for children with terminal illnesses.  Be their JOY and HOPE.   Let them hear you talk about the beauty that awaits them after all their lessons here have been learned.  There is a purpose for our suffering--- we are not just a student, but also the teacher.  What will you leave behind for us/them to learn?  Let us remember the beauty that there is in choosing to become human and the wonderment of this planet.  Speak about the positive, loving experiences we are offered here in this lifetime and give wonderful hope to those who are reaching out to you--- My dearest Juditha-- for your wisdom and spirituality.   We love you here and cherish your live.

Hi Juditha-
I totally agree with Bruce.  It seems that after we try to escape from the world of today's troubles, we simply go on to tomorrow's troubles which turn out to be the same ones that we were trying to escape today, except that we also have to go through another childhood and adolescence to get there. In other words, not only do we not really escape, but we waste time and effort that could much better be put toward solving whatever our situation is.

In my estimation, if you are going to a place where everyone talks of suicide in a depressing manner, then probably this is not very good at improving your outlook. One simple solution is to change to a place you like better. Identicat has the idea - you could volunteer your services at any of dozens of places where people will love to have you there to help out. Working as a stockroom helper at a Goodwill store, Salvation Army store, or local Thrift Shop a day or two weekly - or more - or working with kids, or the aged (old farts like me), or reading to someone who is sight impaired, and so on - all of this is useful and creates a sense of being useful.

However, the other side of this is to realize that by your presence on the forum here you are contributing. I doubt that you ever thought of it in quite that manner, as most of us seem more interested in our own perspective, and solving personal issues, but you are among those gifted with psychic abilities, and your input is meaningful to others.

Very often people with significant psychic abilities are also those who come into this world with a fairly heavy load of karma to work through. That presents itself in the life situation into which we put ourselves. To elect rebirth under conditions in which one has a lot of stuff to work through is an heroic choice. Invariably, when such people are questioned they indicate that they have chosen to learn to love, to create joy in the world, and to handle whatever it was that was happening in the past in a useful manner, even at the cost of their own happiness. Chances are that this is more or less what you decided. To my mind, that kind of choice merits both respect and support. And, if you'll look around for a moment, you might notice that everyone here is on your side.

Some people throw up their hands in despair,  others take what they have and use it to build a new reality for themselves. Some retreat into the world of alcohol, or into street drugs, others blame the fates for their condition and retreat into psychiatric medications that numb them. There are a lot of ways to check out.

And then there's the other bunch who came here to handle business, and they do just that! They have ups and downs. They have good days and bad days. And they keep at it somehow, in the process of which they often accumulate a lot of friends. I'd be inclined to put you in this group. You seem to be advancing as a spiritual person as well as a competent psychic, and you definitely have accumulated a lot of friends. As your psychic skills advance, you are also gaining respect. (I personally have been fascinated by watching, and I notice that over time your insights are deeper and more meaningful. Since I happen to have the psychic ability of a brick, I'm also a bit envious.)

If I might suggest, pick a future that looks good for you. Perhaps you can see yourself as a member of an organization, for example your present psychic church, or some other group, in which you give readings on the weekends, or at fairs and festivals. Or maybe you see yourself in some other light. No matter, just have a look and see what the future can hold. Place the thought of suicide up against the old habits of thinking and feeling, since that's what you were trying to get rid of, and start a new life that leads into the future vision that you see.  Yesterday is over and done with - unless you want to drag it along - and if you leave it behind, you can move onward. That way, today becomes the first day of a new life without the bother of having to replace a perfectly good body.

And don't hesitate to call on us for support. The light that you spread may be invisible to you, but not to others, since it is God's own Light shining through you, and God doesn't make junk. We love you unconditionally, just because you exist as you.

PUL
dve

Hi dave and identicat You have both set me thinking about doing voluntry work as i used to do it for the heart foundation so i think i will go back to that and someone at the centre said to me the other day that i should be working in a care home as i have a lot to give,im going to really try and face the world ,thanks for your loving and encouraging words,i love you as well and im so glad that i have you all on here,this is where i have felt love and have felt worth something and im thankful for that.I wrote this poem after i read all that you had written.

She came across the land of love and light
Walking into the night,shone a star so bright
She saw this form of beautiful white
It was Jesus standing in shimmering light
Who held out his hand upon this night
To her spirit,that had moved across
To his fathers kingdom of love and light
On that silent of silent night
Jesus led her spirit,to her spiritual home
Where she would be loved and allowed to grow
In spiritual love and allowed to show
Her true potential of what she really was
In the spirit world,where life is fair and life is love
Why she was asked,did she leave
She had so much love and so much to give
Her spirit progressed in many ways
Through all the love from the spiritual gaze
Of beleif in her as a precious one
Who was worth so much,on the physical plain
If only she thought,when the earth was mine
I should never have left before my time.

Love light and god bless you both   love juditha

Juditha:

I echo what everybody is saying. I haven't come accross one source which states that suicide is a good decision. Spirits always regret it.

I've experienced very little depression during my life,  but I used to experience a background of fear. Eventually found out it was due to my fear of supposed demons and such. Once I faced these concepts and got over them, I stopped experiencing a background of fear.

I know some people will say that depression is genetic, but I've read some studies and found that the statistics don't support this viewpoint. It is a viewpoint formulated by medical doctors who are scepticle about things such as the World of spirit. According to them everything has a biological answer. They'd rather prescribe drugs than try to help a person psychologically.

My feeling is that sometimes depression is something people experience when they cover up an inner fear. It is hard to let love and happiness into our lives, when our heart chakra is energetically clogged with fear based issues we haven't dealt with.

Perhaps you have never completely gotten over the fear you experienced when you and Deanna saw that demon you saw when you were little girls.  For a while my spirit guidance showed me demonic images. Some of these were silly looking. This might seem odd, but it was their way of letting me know that I don't have anything to be afraid of. One time while meditating I heard a voice say: "You never take a look behind them." I understood right away what was meant. If you look behind a negative image projected by a spirit, you'll see that there is nothing behind the image to substantiate it as an actual reality. Just as you can create imagery with your mind, a spirit can create an image with its mind.  So don't make the mistake of believing that the demonic looking spirit you and Deanna saw as children, actually looks like it appeared. Probably just some mean hearted earth bound spirit who tried to make itself look creepy, in order to scare a couple of young girls.  If you looked at the true nature of that spirit, you would find that it is inately divine like all other spirits. It is just that it was confused about who it was. It is hard to imagine how a spirit who is so confused, could have the power to do anything to harm you and Deanna. The fact of how it didn't harm you and Deanna, shows that it didn't have the power to do anything, except to play stupid Halloween games.

There is another way to consider this. The imagery of this spirit was probably based on biological structures. Perhaps a pair of fangs, wierd looking eyes, or some scars.  Spirit energy "can't" actually be limited and defined in such a way. The spirit you saw just made itself appear in such a way.

The fact of how you have gone all these years without some evil spirit getting the best of you, shows that you don't have to worry about one doing so. How could a spirit who has turned its back on love and God, have power over one who hasn't done the same, such as yourself?

When it comes to confused negative minded spirits (I WON'T CALL THEM EVIL), don't believe the hype.

Hi Recoverer I have never forgotten that spirit me and deanna saw that day even though we were 5 yrs old at the time,and when i was a little girl i used to have this recurring dream of this white looking monster walking up the stairs as in this dream i was asleep but i was aware of this white looking monster coming up the stairs and into my bedroom and as it got to me it was filling my mouth and my throat with thick cotton wool and i was chokeing but i could not move and then each time i woke up,i dreamt this dream quite a lot when i was a little girl.I know i have got inner fears mostly of trying to fit in with the world,but i will get there in the end.

Love and God bless  love juditha

Dave--- Bricks are important ,too .  They lay a corner stone foundation for everyone else to support themselves on.  Your brick shoulders are very comfortable, thank you very much!! :D

Hi Juditha, dear one. You are so loved.

I can understand that life can be so frustrating at times. I have been away from my job for almost two months because of problems with medications that were supposed to help me conquer my alcoholism. There is no "happy" pill for some of us, and that is okay. Now, I don't need the pills AND I don't need the alcohol.

Additionally, after an x-ray and an MRI I am waiting to get a biopsy on my arm because I have something there. I don't know how this story will play out. And that is also okay.

You are a sensitive, loving person. Pain comes with that territory at times. I'm so sorry.

I admit that I, too, have longed for peace too much at times.  Later, things became clearer. They always do. The MOST IMPORTANT THING is to GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME.  Do NOT give the universe a deadline for your happiness. Your happiness IS now, and always will be. What I mean is, come out from behind your curtain. Don't be afraid.

In my studies, I have been told that the measure of your pain is sometimes also the measure of your possible happiness. I know this is true, because I am, and I know you are, a person capable of giving much to the world, and there is no greater happiness than that.

Love yourself. We are here for you.

love, blink :)

OK Carol Ann -
I'll try to keep in mind how nice it is to be a brick in the world of diamond lucidity. Doubtless this would be extremely useful to  someone who needs to add on a new outhouse and needs a solid foundation. :-\

In fact, that may be where all the dreck comes from that seem to be trickling down these days. :-)

d

Hi Blink Thanks for your kind and loving words and you are loved very much on here as well and im going to ask God in my prayers to send you love and healing and strength to get through this and my love and thoughts are with you also,and i will try to come out from behind the curtain as  that curtain has been in front of me for a long while.

God bless you blink with love and light     Love juditha

Well what you say sounds about right - I have read suicide being what people do when their coping resources (mental/physical/family and friends'support and interests and enjoyments in life) are outbalanced by their sufferings, whether mental or physical. It is a way out. As a person who is unsure of the existance of an afterlife though, i would say you also have to consider you MAY be opting out of life and having nothing at all. but if you are suffering very much that might not seen so bad.. but I worry that some people might do it assuming they will go somewhere nicer, which a. might be wrong full stop becasue there's nothing or b. might be wrong becasue they face some sort of punishment/suffering for it in the afterlife
I am sorry if you are feeling this way yourself and hope you can find reasons to live and pull yourself out of these bad feelings