sorry to take up cyberspace. wanted to make someone laff this morn. :)


what it’s like to be this old...

* I get a brilliant thought while changing clothes and have to rush to the puter to write it down before I forget and I trip on my tights which only got pulled up to my thighs in my excitement that I had any idea at all.

* My family look like passersby and I don’t know what to say to them while rock stars look like family and I talk their heads off.

* I get meaner with age but I forget what I was mad at quicker.

* I sleep in my clothes because I’ll be ready for tomorrow that way.

*  I wear red tights with a turquoise skirt. I never seen anybody do this and still look this good.

*  I like reading my own stuff too much.

*  I giggle a lot at the strangest moments.

*  Getting shot by a random bullet doesn’t scare me in the least.

*  I’m trying to start a trend of wearing hats and it’s not working.

*  I wake up with a smile on my face and I know I must have been bad.

*  I had a garage sale so I could give all my worldly goods to the poor and tried to buy a customer’s hat. That may be an indication that I’m packing it in as fast as I’m getting rid of it. If this is true, then life and I could be poised for a draw and I could be a cowgirl whose horse ran away.

*  Men seem like women and women are turning into men.

*  The youngsters are smarter and quicker than me.

*  I drive too slow.

*  I sold my vehicle because I couldn’t find a parking place.

*  People come into my dreams and yell at me for something. Then I waste  endless time trying to remember what they said and what I did wrong or how I attracted their attention. They must like me I decided.

*  I try to talk softly with finesse but my voice comes out like a fog horn.

*  I say something shocking then I look around to see who said that?
*  The hairs in my nose should have grown where my eyebrows are. I don’t understand how they lost their roadmap.

*  I make a joke and somebody asks me to clarify.

*  I need a compass to find my car; then I remember I sold it.

* I lwalk in the middle of the road to avoid the roadkill of my memories.

*  I’m not sure if I smell good but only to me.

* I kill others with kindness then I wonder why they protest.

* I search my mind for belief system crashes I’ve gone through and discover I started crashing the day I was born and haven’t stopped. For some reason, this too is funny.

*  I can’t wait for the morrow, to see what I’m gonna do next!

Hi aylsia Its nice to have fun sometimes,we all need to laugh.

Ive got a joke.

There were 2 nuns and a mother superiour,anyway they went to the gates of heaven and St Peter stood there and he said to them"You cannot go through the gates until you have each answered one question"so they said okay.

He asked the first nun a question"Who was the first man,so the nun answered Adam,so ST peter said"Thats right you can go in".

He asked the second nun a question"Who was the first woman,so the second nun answered Eve,so St peter said"thats right you can go in"

So then he asked the mother superiour a question"What was the first words,that Eve said to Adam in the garden of eden,the mother superiour said "Cor,thats a hard one,St Peter said,thats right you can go in. :D

Love and God bless Love juditha

lol Juditha, we might have to ban you again.. ;D

LOL!
Glad I found this site, loved the jokes and "ageing insights"! :)

Humour and laughter sure makes my ASTRAL travels more fun.

When I hang out with animals , I love watching them play and joke around... and they are relaxed around me now ... where stuff is always going on, pigeons,squirrals, black birds,etc landing on me and walking around my shoulders,pants, head, I have to wear a hat and clothes that can take their "crap"... if you know what I mean! :)  

A good sense of humour should be one of the first requirements for pre-astral travel and moving around on this plane! :)

I don't agree Juditha:

Eve said: "Adam, why do you keep looking at me as if I took something from you?"

Wasn't there a MASH episode where Hawkeye wanted to get some Adam's ribs. Perhaps the writers had the above in mind?

:) Juditha!!  Alysia thought you might like this - I think it's so sweet  :)

A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ...

What is love?

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrissy - age 6

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

Rebecca- age 8

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"

Emily - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"

Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and ! I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

Karen - age 7

Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a
lot. People forget."

Jessica - age 8

Wonderful thoughts, ladydearhearts!

Love, Bets