I have 212 PM's in my inbox. I keep them as memories of my friends. over the 6 years I've participated happily on this forum I have only received 3 or 4 inflamatory PM's and those I most often delete or sometimes I try to sooth the wild beast.

today I got one of those veiled attacks on my integrity in my PM. I don't see why the poster doesn't continue the public disagreement instead of using my PM as if somehow he can make greater headway by doing it privately.

we should agree we may disagree on things from time to time, wish the poster well on their path and drop it. I feel under attack and not able to use the peer moderator in my PM. box.
however, I will use the ban feature in my PM for this particular strong headed person.

it is my opinion to PM someone with your complaints about what they believe here is an invasion of privacy to step behind the scenes in devious manner and it constitutes harrassment, no matter how they put forth the idea that you are wrong and they are right by purporting to be psychic of all things to say. it is well known and I agree that just because you are psychic that u can abuse your talent with the coloration of your own perceptions and belief systems.

in other words dear poster, if you can't think of something positive to say, why bother?

its too bad really, he thinks my opinion and influence here is detrimental to his own purposes here. I sincerely doubt that inference.

perhaps we can live together here. perhaps not. I would certainly like to generate a positive direction and the demonstration of respectful attitudes among our diverse viewpoints, and if you got something mean to say, say it on the board.
my opinion. stay cool. it's only life.

Don't know who this poster is, but I will point out that on every other board I've ever been on, as soon as disagreements escalate, there is always a huge outcry of "Take it to email!" or "Take it to PM".

So while I don't know the intent of your correspondent, going private is the standard "internet etiquette" thing to do...though going rude is a whole 'nother story, so if it went to that degree of course that in itself is an issue.

I have been on lots of forums over the years and most of the time I have ONLY received PM's from people who were interested in discussing stuff in NICE way , wanted to know where I got a tool or what program I was useing, and didn't want to ask NEWBIE question for fear of appearing stupid on MAIN board.

I , too, would be concerned if someone was useing PM as a means of Attacking me if they didn't like my viewpoint on MAIN BOARD.  And I like your approach of bringing it out into the OPEN without mentioning NAMES.  

The person PM'ing you would know immediatly you are referring to him/her and to Stop PM'ing you and if he/she didn't stop, you could respond in this thread to alert Head MOD of "rude/improper"conduct.

I can see that OOB boards could lend itself to "imbalanced" behavior due to the fact that the practices we are doing should be done by people in a Healthy -Well-Balanced mindset. The Health warnings on Hemi-Sync and other tech tools , make it very clear if you are on Meds or have a Mental History of Mood disorder or other Issues ... don't try these exercises.

ANGER or FEAR should be a WARNING sign to STOP doing whatever you are doing and take a step back and address the "real" issue that is causing the 'anger or fear" ... NOT PROJECT it out ...and say OTHER people are causing these FEELINGS.  

I see absolutely no reason why any of this needed to be posted on the board unless it's to enlist support from others in what is totally a private dispute.  

Just tell the offender that you will delete any further messages from him (thanks for identifying the sex of the person).  

Possible reason for posting this topic would be to see if other "shy" people in this room are getting the same type PM for someone in this room.  And to see if it is a "collective" problem.  When you say "I see ABSOLUTELY NO REASON" for posting this ... except a "negative" reason ... seems to imply the "only reason" is to HURT the PM'er.  Could be other reasons, and the person who posted it could have "constructive" reasons.  

And she didn't identity the person.

I may not be one who should talk here,

but.....having recently introduced a thread expressly for the purpose of expressing my distaste for a particular poster's openly "harassing" verbiage on this site....I then realized that my own emotions were influencing my actions here to a greater extent than necessary.  

An alternative I had at the time would have been to clearly state my feelings in a private message, which may have been interpreted negatively by the poster as harassment in return.  And I had no desire to speak to this person privately.

Another alternative I had was to use the peer moderator system, which I personally felt was "going  behind someone's back" and I didn't like that choice either.

Another alternative I had was to just back away and let the "problem" resolve itself.  

Actually, I think I placed too much importance on my own input into this situation.  "Problems" do often resolve themselves and later we are annoyed at how inflamed our emotions might have become.

So, these emotional issues can be tricky...and I think it is a natural thing that sometimes people become overly "enmeshed" with each other for emotional reasons (even relative strangers!) and it takes time for them to realize that at least one party must back away and allow a time for some peace to fill the "empty" space.

Anyone who has carefully read a particular post of Alysia's a while back will know that in her view sending her a "private message" is not "private" to her and she will use her own discretion in openly discussing whatever her heart desires on this forum, including private messages that she deems intrusive and negative.   I believe that this is because she is a very sensitive person, and she can be wounded more easily than people think.

It would be easy to assume that someone who is so open and gregarious is tough as nails......but that just isn't so.

If you examine the majority of the words in her numerous posts over time you will consistently find:

freedom of expression
poetry
communion
joy
humor
love

.....and the tiniest bit of insecurity because she would like to be loved and accepted for who she is, which is a very free and very creative human being.  She has the gift of seeing very few limitations, and she protects this very special quality in herself and continually strives to enhance it.

I have nothing but respect for Alysia.

love, blink :)

I agree with Blink.  There is no reason not to post this thread.  It does not mention one person (even if he is mentioned as a male).  It addresses an issue, and may come up again.  

For myself, I prefer just not to reply in a situation like that or send a message saying, it was not my cup of tea.  It is interesting to me, because I too, recently PM'd someone about an issue I thought was better not aired in public to avoid sensationalism.  My PM was received, but not replied to from one of our regulars.  Ah well........

Communication is what it is; sometimes you get your wires crossed, some things are appropriate, some are not.  I roll with it, and don't let it get me down.

Much anger has been released of late regarding Jesus, and possible false channelings or blasphemous statements about his crucifixtion.  No matter your personal religious views, I think it is possible to carry on a conversation without offending another or taking offense.  JC seems to be a touchy subject lately, and anger manifest on his sake does not seem appropriate with what I know of the gospels.


Matthew

Doc said: No matter your personal religious views, I think it is possible to carry on a conversation without offending another or taking offense.  JC seems to be a touchy subject lately, and anger manifest on his sake does not seem appropriate with what I know of the gospels.
____

well said Doc. you just brought up a great overview point concerning not just this board but all of humanity..Religious wars.   isn't it this way since time began?

everybody thinks god is on their side in a religious war. but you give me some kind of hope that u say you think it's possible to carry on a conversation without offending another or taking offense. this is a world wide problem we display here.

so I follow your thought, as usual, I can take direction from you and some others here and I feel lucky to have you here. yes, I've done pm back to certain people too, and felt let down when I wasn't answered after putting great time and energy to answer as best I could. so...I prefer to just talk with the whole group, knowing that the whole group guides me when I read everybody, but one on one, I'm afraid I have my shortcomings or perhaps I would have received a reply back.

I wish everybody the best, alysia

richman wrote on Apr 30^th, 2007 at 11:07am:

Possible reason for posting this topic would be to see if other "shy" people in this room are getting the same type PM for someone in this room.  And to see if it is a "collective" problem.  When you say "I see ABSOLUTELY NO REASON" for posting this ... except a "negative" reason ... seems to imply the "only reason" is to HURT the PM'er.  Could be other reasons, and the person who posted it could have "constructive" reasons.   And she didn't identity the person.

its human nature to consider we are always right and the other is wrong, therefore we are the one who is being constructive might be the assumption. you are right this person does not really wish to be injurious to me. it will be cleared up shortly I feel on a higher level.
I will learn something about myself I'm sure and I crash well and bounce back well.

part of the reason for posting this thread is to recognize two former members who had valuable contributions here and decided it was not safe to post here as they could not be open to share their explorations. I have been here 6 years and so I can see an overview of energies on the board sometimes dispassionately, sometimes I am too personally involved and so I begin to form my goodbye letters.
which is what I started to do yesterday then changed my mind, no, I'm not going to quit here because I've gotten far too much value from participating to be a quitter.
I will learn how to be strong and not vulnerable, but I have the right to trust you people because of love and to awaken to my folly of trusting. I do believe in group dynamics. I still feel we are family. I trust my guidance I can speak my mind and that as Doc says, we can express ourselves here without all the guilt trips on each other, but sometimes I think we should not discuss religions at all because wars do start up over that the world over.
so what are we learning as a group consciousness?

I miss the other players who left. One left because she came here to with the family concept as well and she was called away to generate her family elsewhere as things move here then we get into a hovering pattern of static for awhile, but we always seem to rebound to priorities of helpfulness to one another and study of the materials at hand.  we can attract those here who have "knowings."  but only if we let them come by welcoming them and listening without getting bent out of shape because a different religious viewpoint is presented radically different than your own.

the other "family" member who left was being pm-ed to death by a couple of negative entities whose names I will not mention because it's not up to me to be pointing a finger and projecting guilt and it was her choice to leave as well her husband reccommended that her explorations were causing too much of a stir and he wanted her to focus on other things because he loved her and didn't want her to be attacked for what she believed in.

so then, I too get negative things in my pm, and at first they seem to be kind, they seem to want to "help" me, by gently persuading me of my errors.

and then at once I want to respond lovingly with good intentions as usual. but the thing is you cannot express a love feeling in a post...how silly of me to think another would pick up that I do love them too. these are mere words on a puter screen.
I must be dreaming. we do not know each other, is the love I feel for each of you not in your heart also?

I must wake up when I am not loved back. so too is everyone's journey here, I am not so different from anyone, to feel love towards humanity, I am sure we are love at our basis, and that love is the priority and we somehow learn together to express it, and if it takes talking about a volatile subject as religion so we can get to the bottom of things, then that's what it takes.

I am keeping positive during this shift. we shift and crash don't we?

why don't we all take each other's hands instead of projecting guilt and blame?

and I've heard it from the top brass amazing grace is descending unto a main player here soon. I am glad as we all could use a little grace now and then.

love, alysia

Blink said:

Anyone who has carefully read a particular post of Alysia's a while back will know that in her view sending her a "private message" is not "private" to her and she will use her own discretion in openly discussing whatever her heart desires on this forum, including private messages that she deems intrusive and negative.   I believe that this is because she is a very sensitive person, and she can be wounded more easily than people think.

It would be easy to assume that someone who is so open and gregarious is tough as nails......but that just isn't so.  

If you examine the majority of the words in her numerous posts over time you will consistently find:

freedom of expression
poetry
communion
joy
humor
love

.....and the tiniest bit of insecurity because she would like to be loved and accepted for who she is, which is a very free and very creative human being.  She has the gift of seeing very few limitations, and she protects this very special quality in herself and continually strives to enhance it.
_____

hey lady! you sure got me nailed good! I would like to be loved and accepted for who I am, and in our hearts and minds, is not everyone wanting that? all over the world?

so I see no reason for any of us to be attacking another's belief systems if we all want the same thing.  I am the wounded heart here..so hit me for that if any of you want to, but I don't like being a focal point on this board which was intended for Bruce's intentions to speak about TMI and books and what's in those books primarily.

if I have any advice in group dynamics it would be to check over your posting here carefully to see if you are offering a thought of fear to the group or a thought of love, because that's where intentions are revealed. the intent of a post is very important to discover so you don't send a double message.

what do u all say we continue to explore and post our explorations in an atmosphere of hey, this is what happened, I hope you can get something out of it?
if not, I wish you the best anyway?

thanks for being friendly and seeing beyond the words Blink. you too have had some amazing grace descend on you, I can tell.

love, alysia

Cricket wrote on Apr 30^th, 2007 at 8:48am:

Don't know who this poster is, but I will point out that on every other board I've ever been on, as soon as disagreements escalate, there is always a huge outcry of "Take it to email!" or "Take it to PM". So while I don't know the intent of your correspondent, going private is the standard "internet etiquette" thing to do...though going rude is a whole 'nother story, so if it went to that degree of course that in itself is an issue.

thanks for the other viewpoint Cricket. sounds like it might be working good for this other board to do that. I don't know, I haven't participated in that many boards to see how they do things.

it might also depend on how much time one has to respond to pm's. for me maybe it's best not to become involved that way if someone wants to just argue on and on about something. I don't think we can change another person to our viewpoint by going on and on, so I hope your board is ok with taking it behind the scenes and if it works good, I say continue with it.

these posters I'm thinking of I have tried my best with and it wasn't good enough, so it gets draining and I think life is too short to be arguing about everything when we need a good mediator sometimes.
peer moderator might work if all sees the value in contributing, or at the least can see their opinions would be valuable to the administrator rather than to float on by thinking oh gee, thats sad but none of my business, Bruce said he doesn't want anyone to suffer in silence. human nature likes to fight sometimes don't they?

so there you are. seems like the more sparks that fly, the happier people get. hmmm!
well OK!  woooweeeeeeeee!!! an aha moment. gonna love you guys whatever you say!!!

this is all politics in a way..never thought I was political person, some of us are.
I'm hostess over on the other board, picked that title myself, because I don't like politics.

ok, I'll go crawl back into my hole now   http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/spiritvideo/Alysia/_by_darkmoon3636.gif  
  http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/spiritvideo/Alysia/Tofunny.gif

Alysia,

I just want to make clear to everyone that you are not referring to a PM from me.  I'ts been several months since I PMd you to ask for an apology for your violation of a confidence by openly discussing my battle with cancer and for having the gall to suggest that I am lying about my full recovery and am in fact really terminal.  Of course, you refused to apologize for making sport of my presumed dying.  I expected no less.   But that is all blood under the bridge.  

I do want to make a siimple request.   Over the years, you have repeatedly promised to stop reading and replying to my posts and you continually violate that promise.  In one sense, this is amusing.   I now ask you to honor your promise.  You are the poster girl for close-minded New Agers and it is a waste of time to engage you critically.  Yeah, go ahead and report me via Peer Moderator to the Language Police.  I don't give a dam-n.

Thanks,
Don

Enforcing the use of a civil dialogue is not the same as "the thought police," for those of you out there who are wondering about it.  There is no call for derogatory remarks such as:

"You are the poster girl for close-minded New Agers and it is a waste of time to engage you critically.  Yeah, go ahead and report me via Peer Moderator to the Language Police.  I don't give a dam-n.  "

How can I debate seriously someone who speaks about the spiritual search for PUL when he or she  would let the insults fly like that?  I'm sorry, Don, but you can not talk about what a genuine seeker you are and then release this hateful rhetoric.  Do you really think, that just because this is a forum, that your snide remarks don't invoke negative responses, grief and karma?  Think again.

In the recent past, I defended you to others, saying that you wanted to raise the consciousness of people on the board with "tough love."  I can no longer say that given these disparaging remarks.  Regardless of Alyssia's slip in speaking of your condition, you do not demonstrate forgiveness or understanding, two key aspects of the teachings of Jesus (which you are well aware).  

I believe you are part of this forum's family, with insights and ideas worth pursuing, but not at the cost of the dignity of another.  

I think you owe Alyssia and the board an apology for these derogatory remarks.  If I were the Peer moderator, I would treat you the same way I saw done on the astraldynamics.com website, where the editor strikes your venom and then leaves any cogent discussion intact, followed by a note from the editor saying that insulting remarks were removed as per the rules of the forum.

You can call me sanctimonious in response, or any adjective you see fit, but deep down, you know that I am right.  


Matthew

No, Matthew< i KNOW you are wrong.  Someday when you are fighting for your life, let's see how you react to the crass smirky insensitivity that Alysia displayed to my illness.   I am simply pointing out two facts:  (1) Alysia has repeatedly promised not to read or reply to my posts and has routinely violated that promise.  I am simply asking her to at last keep her promise.  (2) Her posts repeatedly display a reckless disrgard for the parry and thrust of honest and compelling objections to her perspectives.   Do you actually dispute this?

I will not apologize to her AND I publicly (not privately) renew my demand for an apology from her. And of course, Matthew, you are once again being "sanctimonious."  But don't worry.  I am once again overwhelmed by the suffocating stench of this New Age Ghetto.  So after providing a long overdue reply to Kathy's question, I will suspend my release of new astral insights and, again, take my leave of this site for a few months.  The Ghetto rules!

Don

Berserk!

With a name like that , what are people gonna think! YOU PICKED that NAME!  Why?

If you feel hurt , and you lash out , is that really gonna make you feel better, LONG term.  It would be nice if you reflected on this stuff and thought about someone meeting you today for the first time.  If you have SICK emotions , say "man, I've been having these SICK emotions for awhile, and in my heart I don't want to be perceived as a MEAN BERSERK person.  On the other hand, we all get "whacked" out at times and when we become aware of that, we go back to Spiritual Practices that Center US and the main Goal.  The Goal of Jesus really is to pray and Receive LOVE and then send out that LOVE to others.  And I practice this BREATH , by BREATH by BREATH.  I wasn't trained to do that.  I was taught as a kid if someone hurts me, hurt them back.  But of course , that didn't make me happy! :)

Really would like to see you shift and have a GREAT day.  It's just a Breath away.  ;)

It will stop when you say you had enough of the EGO stuff (tension,negativity,anger,fear) and Let the LOVE in and let it flow out. Talking about it gets boring fast, doing it doesn't! :)

As long as we are baring our souls, let us get one thing straight, Don.  There is no ghetto here!  Many agree with some of your insights and posts.  More people defended the rights of christians on this site recently than ever before (despite the fact that you call it an anti-christian site).  People who are "new agers," like Ahso or Recoverer speak with reverence of the real Jesus Christ, no matter what their other notions or ideas are.  Your generalizations are just plain wrong.  Kathy and Alyssia, Mair, and others are and have been open to the love found in christianity.  I myself, a non-christian have been a staunch defender on this site of my christian brethern.

Threaten to leave, or leave, if you must, or if you are so unable to release that part of yourself that is angry at New Agers in general.  The dialogues you and I have had have been helpful and insightful.  I still feel certain that understanding PUL will entail a love for those you think may be misguided.

Alyssia may not want objective evidence like you do, so her posts, as you say may not recognize objections to other evidence.  BFD!  Alyssia is a powerful free spirit, full of life, love and energy.  She was personally responsible for a lot of young ones, including OOB Dude, and myself a long time ago, getting into this and exploring.  

I could wish for you to change, to get off your high horse and give us a group hug, but I know that is unlikely, so all I will say is I wish you well.  Either on the forum or off.


Matthew

Now this is all about Don again....new age ghettos....Christianity bashing....etc. etc. etc.

I wonder how that happened????????

Someone really should work on a new script for this play because it seems like this theme is ancient!

Is this a Greek tragedy?

Are our masks dramatic enough so that we can re-enact the same play over and over for the new audience here?  Where are my paints!  The colors are looking a little faded! We can't have that!

We must have full-scale mahem!

My small and pitiful mind can barely understand what is happening...I'm so CONFUSED!  

It must be more VIVID!  There must be many many many more repetitive circular repeats of this exciting group dynamic cycle!

Let's really get into it here, okay? Think, method acting.  Let it ALL out!

Otherwise I won't be able to remember this same conversation for the REST of my LIFE!

(in jest)    (of course)

love, blink :)

LOL!!! Blink, do u ever get the feeling we're in a movie and someone else wrote the script and we're waking up that we're all players but we're hollering at the director WAIT! we wanna rewrite this here script!!! we don't like our part!! ;D

so we look around and the director is playing golf. hehehehe (clarification later: I mean god is playing golf, not speaking of my favorite author Bruce. just had to make that clear for Bruces sake)

guess its up to each of us to rewrite the script.
I was just thinking about this today Blink, then I read your post just now and got a little blown away u were thinking the same thing..

only I was thinking that sometimes I look at how many unregistered visitors there are at any one moment..and I get to thinking why they are reading and what they are reading, and if they have questions and so forth, and then I started laffing out loud (yes I do this when I'm alone)  because we are a MOVIE for them.

and look at this thread getting bigger with each clip..just chugging along here with virtually no PLOT!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/spiritvideo/Alysia/thRoadrunner.jpg


hey, you all deserve love. thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

and I still wish you well Don, sorry I have nothing to offer you but I already told you this, that I'm not allowed to read you by higher authority because you don't want anything I have to give..Like I said, you deserve love too and I can't judge you for anything because I don't have all the facts. you understand facts; I don't have them all.

hey Rondele, just found out you are Roger. I wish you well too, you gave yourself away as a man when you said you swigged beer. I just couldn't imagine a gal swigging beer. Good ONE! touche pals.

Doc when I get to where I'm going, I'll be looking u up. love, alysia