my friend who died a while back is trying to retreive me.  i have seen her many times and she transformed and lately has been showing up when i am in  a bad state,  once i asked her how much more time was left in my contract.  the other day she said that if i kill myself i would be stunting my soul.  so i asked how serious that would be.  i told her i wouldnt do it but i just cant stand being separate from my creator.  no understando.

You are never seperate from your creator..YOU are your creator.. ;)

well greenwater, your friend who retrieves you must care for you, and she's on the other side, so has this other perspective and glad you told her you wouldn't do anything as rash as taking your life. she has this other perspective now, she won't lead you astray. if you say you feel separate from god or your goodness, we all can relate to that feeling, but don't be fooled. imagine the air that you breath to be filled with god molecules...how can u be separate from the breath of life?
sometimes we must act like we are brave to go forward until we get the hang of it by acting "as if" we will get our good. then we can reach to the believing part which creates our reality. good on ya, glad u joined us seekers and philosophers and all sorts of people here wish you well! love, alysia