Quote:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following is purportedly from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda, which it claims "is the largest snake in the world, a relative of the boa constrictor that grows to thirty-five feet in length and weighs between three and four hundred pounds." 1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are. 2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another. 3. Tuck your chin in. 4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body. 5. Do not panic 6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet and - always from that end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic. 7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time. 8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg. then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head. 9. Be sure you have your knife. 10. Be sure your knife is sharp. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hopefully you won't find yourself lying on the floor panicking that you left your sharp knife in your hotel room as the snake starts to swallow you head first..... ;D
LOL , are they serious?

Peace.

S.C.

OMG..................well, I'm never going to be put in a situation where I will find out. LOL

Love, Marilyn  ;D

Ha ha, well now, where's the recipe?

What you should really do: A New Age Guide to Anaconda Hunting.

A) Don't join the Peace Corps. Join the United States Marine Corps.

B) Learn to shoot well in the Corps. A Marine and his rifle are a weapon of mass destruction.

C) Carry a rifle (make sure it's loaded, stupid), sea salt, a FILM camera, and a pendulum.

D) Project PUL to the snake. If that doesn't work, use your pendulum to ask your guides if it's ok to shoot the snake, if you have time. If guidance says "no", assume they're joking and proceed as follows:

1) Do NOT panic. Aim carefully.

2) Squeeze a round into the snake's head. Do not miss.

3) Kick snake's head to make sure it's dead.

4) Gut snake to search for members of Peace Corps.

5) Celebrate slaying the dragon. Use rifle to measure snake; take photos.

6) Start a fire. Cook and eat snake. Use lots of salt. Tastes like chicken. Make sure you thank the snake for donating itself for your substenance.

7) Keep the head for a trophy and bragging rights.

I'm soooooo crass!

Rob

ROFLMAO  Thanks Rob. Will remember all this next time I run across an anaconda.  ;D

Even though this whole topic gives me the creeps ::), I like your scenario much better Rob.

LOL

Peace
Paradox

Quote:

Project PUL to the snake

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah sure that should do the trick....
Everybody knows when this kind of snake wrap itself around you it's not really trying to kill you... Noooo... they show you love like that... in a very tight hug, lol
They are lovely creatures snakes, they are

When I was in Guantanamo Bay about, oh, fourteen years ago, we found a 17 foot boa. We measured it with a rifle and left it alone. Mankiller. Nice, healthy looking snake. Lots of Banana Rats for it to eat there. We would have shot it, though, if it had tried anything. And yes, we would have eaten it.

Those Peace Corps instructions remind me of someone taking a knife to a gun fight, but I suppose if you aren't allow to carry a rifle where Anancondas are, then you do what you have to do.

Rob

I LOVE IT ROB!! HAR!!

going to save your post and send to  a friend for laffs.
my friend was in the service and traveled all around, can probably relate.
especially enjoy the new age approach andwanted to add my take:

1) for adventure, get a menial job instead of joining the peace corps as nobody asks you to go make some peace over there anyway and life is a plan of unexpected surprises which includes the necessity of being someone elses din din. after u get a paycheck, then, go shopping in a mall, for inreality, a mall is a jungle.

2) while in the jungle mall, look to your left and right and above for professional pick pockets have honed their craft. if about to become a meal ticket, do not lay prostrate, but quickly ask higher self for guidance.
if HS does not respond quickly enough, forget all the how to manual instructions..run like hell!

3) if running doesn't work..sling your purse at the snake, but make sure you put rocks in your purse before going shopping. one must be prepared.

4) if you are still looking tasty to whatever, screaming works sometimes to bring assistance.
5) if the scream in the forest yields up no assistance you are toast. pop out of the body and draw a committee around u to find out what you could have done and then come back and do it the right way, or u can just say to hell with it and go live on another planet where you don't get eaten.

hugs, thanks for this Rob. alysia

Thanks Mair, Sunrise, Paradox, and Alysia. Like your addition, Alisia!

Rob