Fear and love seem to be two major topics looked at in New Age thought.  Some schools of thought seem to propose that we are here to "work things out," and possibly to triumph in overcoming a shortcoming we saw in ourself in the past.  Other schools of thought say: "you are not here to learn, you are only here to experience."

I'm not sure that my entire life's purpose can be summed up in one episode or triumph.  

Yet overcoming fear seems to be something we must all accomplish.  Fear of failure.  Fear of a known or unknown threat.  Fear of giving up a useless belief system (thanks for introducing me to that one, Bruce through your writings).  Fear, it seems to me is as universal to the human condition as love.  

So how do we accomplish this.  Calling it "false evidence," or saying that since we are immortal, we can not really be harmed, does not truly banish fear.  Embracing love, or wanting love does not necessarily banish fear.  

I post this because certain circumstances, which I can't go into have fallen into my lap.  I have come to an immediate understanding about my current fears.  

Fear must be confronted, totally.  One can not run away, move, hide, choose a path that avoids it.  The fear must be met face to face, and then vanquished.  Love may be embraced simultaneously.  

This, to me seem to be the only path.

Any thoughts?

Matthew

Doc,

I have a lot of experience in controlling fear as a condition of mananging risk. If you think this would help you, tell me and I'll go into it.

Rob

Fear,

The worst kind of fear, is the one you dont understand/cannot imagine until you are forced into the situation. It all floods in at once, and it can be quite nasty.

The 2 things that get me through almost any situation are the 2 F'S. Focus and facts.

Certain beliefs can get you through almost anything, it's the only reason i envy religous people...who can believe everything in there life is gods will.

Focus on your goal, can help you go through bad things. Thinking of something positive at the end of a bad situation, helps keep the endorphins pumping.

Facts, say your scared of planes/flying tell yourself your more likely to die from a car crash etc...helps keep you calm.

Pride, in yourself, and focus on the pride you will feel when you get through this.

And most of all, keep in your mind that no matter how bad things are now, your oppinions/fears will change/decrease.

You do something enough, it's just another thing you have conqoured.

If ya need to talk more privately give me a pm matt.

see you later
-spit-

Hi Doc-

You got me thinking. What IS fear anyway?

I get two impressions - "If you are scared, you just don't understand the situation," and on the other side, "Once we understand the situation, fear vanishes."

The first, of course, if everyday thinking, like when the IRS decided to audit me, or my car did a wheely on ice. The second seems to come from very advanced spiritual souls.

I am far from the level at which I could simply foresee interrupting my present activities, even to go off to some other assignment from God, without a substantial feeling of trepidation. I'm not horrified at ending my stay on this planet, but I certainly feel uneasy about it - those little hairs stand up and tingle down my back.

My take on my own feelings is that both I lack total confidence in my knowledge, and second I am attached to stuff that I fear to lose (and I can still agree that the attachments are useless, maybe even detrimental).

I recall that Nisargadatta Maharaj said that all of our hassles in this world arise from fear, and that fear comes from ignorance. Well, if ignorance is bliss, maybe I'm on the verge of a major blister.

dave

:o[font=Verdana][/font]i  I,VE FELT FEAR ALL MY LIFE  I HAVE HAD TO CONFRONT SEVERAL THINGS TO DO WITH FEAR AND EVERYTIME I STILL FIND IT HARD TO DO BUT I HAVE TO DO IT FOR MY OWN SAKE BUT IT IS NOT EASY AT ALL  DEANNA

The "false evidence" idea has helped me a lot.  Think about how we make up these dooms day thoughts and then self inflict pain/stress on ourselves before anything ever real happens.  When an event happens that triggers your imagination into dooms day, try to recognize that early and don't give it any credibility.  You need to set up a good rationalization process.  Every event is different, and calls for different rationalizing.  However, you be surprised how a basic thought process can cover a great number of situations.  Example:  I put my fear sparking events into three categories.  1. Not immediate  2. Immediate  3. Attachment.  The "not immediate" events are a good place to start and I think they create the most fear and stress in our lives.  My thought process for "not immediate" (ex. Rumor of job loss, strange lump found on body, bird flu, terrorist etc.) is:  
A.  I'm perfectly fine right now.  
B.  The weak evidence I have here really doesn't prove a definite bad out come.  
C.  I have the skills and power to deal with this when and if anything does come my way.  
D.  "Gratitude" If it does come my way, this challenge will benefit me somehow even if I can't see that yet.  
E.  Move and stay back in the present.

For immediate events you are really going to have to prepare ahead of time.  lol.  Remember, if immediate danger is bearing down on you... Fear will be the one thing that will prevent you from executing a necessary action.  As you know fear can cripple you.  Here are some of my favorites:

The action I need to take is something I have done a million time successfully in the past, the fact that this in a different environment doesn't stop my ability.  Examples - I can walk across a six inch wide board on the ground, I can do it five stories up to avoid a fire.  I can swing a baseball bat at a baseball, I can swing one at a pit bulls head no matter how mad he looks.

Remember, the storm will sink the ship only if you let it in the ship.

Basically, like spitfire mentioned, it's about better understanding your situation and the facts.  Developing an effective thought process can help manage fear.  For me when I bought into the "false evidence" belief, it help me create a more positive thought process which gave me better understanding.

Take what you can if anything from this.  I know everyone needs to create their own set of unique thoughts to deal with fear.

I did not talk about attachment because I have nothing for it.  This is the one fear I might have to live with.  Example- I fear the loss of a family member and I don't think I want to let go.  If anyone has any ideas to remove this fear please share.

Greetings DocM,
I too found fear can be rough, and could grow into terror, a fear that does not know its own cause. For 20 years I tried everything I could learn---
/from vita E, calcium and protein supplements to rebuild frazzled nerveways; physical exercise helps clear out negative emotions;
/Tibetans laugh HA!Ha!Ha! when fear is noticed, and the repreated outbursts of breaths break the grip;
/from mantra-like repetitions of what I thought I already knew: "God IS LOVE";
/avoiding being in the wrong place, wrong time whenever possible;
/from respect for my DNA and ancestors who faced and conquered fears; else how would I be here today?
/pharmaceutical help of lorazepam and atenolol after amitriptilyne (sic?) for diagnosis of PTSD;
/ being around positive people doing positive things.
It all helped and the need for all is lessening.

Previous generations built fortications and bomb shelters--it seems there's always been cause for fear.
Our ancesters were alert AND productive--else, again, we wouldn't have these bodies to inhabit today. We can do it too!

Hi Matthew and all,

There seems to be many connotations to fear in our belief systems.  We all seem to have the same basic fears such as fear of illness, death, poverty, rejection, loss, or lack of safety, etc.  On one hand we say fear causes our discomfort and illnesses, yet on the other hand we say there is such thing as healthy fear that motivates us toward what we believe are positive results by motivating us to confront the fear and living through it and thereby releasing fear by changing the belief regarding it.

Take someone who has been having chest pains.  There can be a myriad of fears connected with this experience.  The person may try to suppress these fears by saying nothing is wrong and avoids going to the doctor.  If the pain continues, then eventually fear may surface to a greater extent and lead the person to have a check up. Perhaps further testing is needed and this person is afraid of having the tests and procrastinates until finally able to face the fear and do it anyway.  And in the end when the person has lived through his fears, a great sense of relief or acceptance may be felt because years may have been added to their life.  The person may still have a fear of death, yet it has been put off for a few more years and the person has learned from the experience.  Perhaps this is what the person wanted to create and thereby is satisfied with his creation.

Fear is like a vicious circle that can spiral out of control.  Sometimes our fears are so great that we refuse to confront them and we don’t get the results we wanted.  Those cross-purposes we all have.  It seems like our fears keep us locked in a never-ending story of confronting and releasing fear.  I’d say this is the story of all of our lives.  So what is the answer?

From my perspective it’s about the movement of our life energy as it flows through us.  Our fearful beliefs cause us to block our life energy from flowing freely through us and in this way we cause ourselves pain.  We do this because we manipulate and distort the energy by pushing against it and creating friction.  When we stop creating this friction we find our self to be in a state of acceptance for whatever it was that we were pushing against.  While none of us can do this all the time… watching the events of our lives unfold while being in a state of acceptance regarding them to me is the answer.  Rather than creating beliefs that motivate or necessitate us to act from fear, we create and cultivate beliefs that motivate us to act from a state of acceptance as we go about the business of living our life.

Much love and blessings to you Matthew as you go through whatever you are experiencing.

Kathy

Such a wonderful question, Matthew,

because this is so universal.  Fear is what we think protects us, and it does serve to caution us. In some cases it can lengthen the process of a positive experience and deepen it by causing us to slow down and pay attention. This can enrich our experience, such as in romantic love.

In a "negative" situation I think that fear also causes us to slow down into a better awareness of our situation, allowing our senses and intellect to adapt to a course of action.

So, fear can be useful and even positive.

However, love...that is the tricky word. Love is something that deepens and grows in appreciation as we value and pay attention to the "object" of our love. But to take action in love? What action is right?

We must be open to exploration to discover what is "right" action. It will become obvious to us what right action is when we come from the heart, from our own space, from our own truth, in honesty and hope.

from my own space,
with unlimited appreciation and hope,
blink

Mathew,

Fear is one of those issues I need to examine and understand. Beside my bed is a book to read called "Intelligent Fear" by Michael Clarkson, in which he explains, for one, the chemistry of fear...so that we can understand the root of the *physical* sensations as just that...chemical reactions taking place that we can prolong or divert depending on the emotions we use. I have yet to really read the book.

I am trying to experience fear differently. Instead of identifying the feeling as "fear" I have told myself "this is energy!" and see it as a change in my energy, energy made available to my self to use in the moment I am in. So as I am driving my car at night in a blizzard, instead of letting the anxiety sensation get rolling, my thoughts about "this is Energy for me to use" help me focus more on being present and not feeling uncomfortable with it. I haven't perfected this, it is a path, and I am learning.

It is more like Akido (or how I understand martial arts). The energy is not seen as something to be avoided or blocked, so much as used to transform the situation. You allow the energy close enough to you that you can use it to move it . Ah, I don't think I've explained it well. It is only one way I am beginning to see.

Love,
Carolyn

Carolyn, it sounds like you understand it pretty well and I like your explanation. Makes sense to recognize it as energy that we can use to transform the situation. I will definitely remember this. Thanks dear friend. ;-)

With Love,
Mairlyn ;-)

wrote on Jan 14^th, 2006 at 3:36pm:

Doc, I have a lot of experience in controlling fear as a condition of mananging risk. If you think this would help you, tell me and I'll go into it. Rob

Rob,

I am interested in your experience and perspective if you feel like sharing it.


wrote on Jan 15^th, 2006 at 1:02pm:

Carolyn, it sounds like you understand it pretty well and I like your explanation. Makes sense to recognize it as energy that we can use to transform the situation. I will definitely remember this. Thanks dear friend. ;-) With Love, Mairlyn ;-)

Thanks Mair. I see anger as energy too, energy that calls for action or attention and examination, some kind of change.

It's all energy. I think that's what we do, experience different kinds of energy and we change it in some way, depending on our approach, thoughts, or actions.

Love, Carolyn

What a wonderful way to look at fear/anger!  You are absolutely right in that it's just another form of energy for us to transmute into a form that is immediately usable in another form perhaps...hmmm lovely way to think....

Blessings,
happygrl