Yesterday,I tryed to contact my wife,but could get nothing.I then began talking to her out load,after about 15 minutes I becan to get impressions from her.she said she was fine over there,and told me not to blame myself for her death.I had a dream the night before she went into the hospital.In the dream,I was walking away from her,and she was calling out to me to come back.I knew then that we would be parting.But I did not tell her about the dream.I thought even if I told her about the dream,she would still go ahead with the operation.Sad to say,but before she went to the operation room,I said good luck and she said why do you say that.I should have told her about the dream.I feel realy bad about not telling her.George

These two sentences go together.

[quote author=george stone

she said she was fine over there,and told me not to blame myself for her death.

I feel realy bad about not telling her.

So,whats the big deal?

Hi, George,

I am very sorry that you have lost your wife, as have I also, and can empathise with you on that point.

In your posting you say   "...Sad to say,but before she went to the operation room,I said good luck and she said why do you say that.I should have told her about the dream.I feel realy bad about not telling her...."

I wish to make a few points regarding this, if I may, namely:-
1. Isn`t it perfectly normal for someone to wish someone else "good luck" before they are about to have an operation? To me there`s nothing sinister lurking in the background just because it is said and it is a nice gesture. You were wishing your wife well as any normal person would.
2. Why do you punish yourself now for not telling her about your dream? What difference do you think it would have made to your wife, or to the outcome of the operation if you had told her?
3. Hindsight is a marvellous thing which, no doubt, we all wish we had before such events occur, whereby we might think we could change the outcome.

George, you must have no regrets. You say your wife doesn`t blame you, so take it as read and move on in your life (as we all must do when we lose a loved one).

With best wishes to you,
roger :)

Quote:

So,whats the big deal?

George, the big deal is that your wife has forgiven you by what she said 'and told me not to blame myself for her death'.  Now you just have to forgive yourself. Stop hanging onto that which no longer serves you nor her.

Love, Mairlyn ;-)