Hi White Feather,

The power to create what we want to create is always found within ourselves.  If we want to feel more love in our life for example, then we can create this by focusing our attention on the things we love.  

A good place to start is with yourself.  Take a piece of paper and write down all of the things that you love and like about yourself.  Then look into the mirror and look into your eyes and tell yourself all of the loving things that you love about yourself.  If something comes to mind that you think you don't like about yourself, then remember to be kind, patient, gentle and loving to that part of you.  

I have worked with kids and teens and their parents for much of my life and one of my favorite affirmations to have them say to their self is... I love me just the way I am... no matter what way that may be.  Say this over and over until you really believe it and you will begin to create more love in your experience.

Love, Kathy  

Thank you for the question White Feather. I too, need to grow in this area. I look forward to seeing what people have to say.

dear white feather
you should love yourself. one of things I love about you is your fiestyness related to courage of conviction.  you seem to not be afraid to ask for what u want, like an exploring partner. I loved the way you have asked for this in three different places on the board. I don't see it as annoying because I see something different about you to be non-conforming to the status quo. you are quite an amazing person to my perceptions within your spirit..I suppose you don't know this. asking for love is fine...but when you ask for love and don't get it, you just ask again! ha ha! somebody on another board helped me once with some simple words for she saw my fear of asking....she said simply at the end of her loving post GO GIRL GO! I started crying. I had just been given the go ahead.....funny we need each other here..funny how we seem to get off topic so easily..funny how we seem to refuse heart to heart talks so easily....funny how we refuse to take a positive view so often..love and light, and don't forget to have some fun with it. alysia

Kathy, that is a beautiful idea, I will remember it.

Alysia, yes, we are all here to learn, to love, and to help each other!  I wholeheartedly agree!  

White Feather, I feel that you are in a place where I was once a long time ago, where I needed to feel loved and knew that there was something missing inside me.  I had to learn to love myself, (as Kathy said, love yourself just the way you are), and that is a hard thing to learn sometimes.  And for me, I need lots of reminders now and then to keep me on track of loving myself.  It is so easy (at least for me) to beat yourself up.  Love seems to take more work sometimes!  

Anyway, I hope you find what you need, and I hope we can help you!  

Just getting a pep talk can really boost me sometimes.  Even just hearing someone else get a pep talk can boost me!  Ha ha.  I love to be positive and I love finding the joy in things, even the smallest things.  Being here with friends helps me feel that way, that's for sure.

Love to you all,
Vicky

Quote:

So when you love yourself, but when other people don't love you this much, how do you cope with that? Should you be indifferent to other people's opinion? How do you cope with other people's projections?

It seems like most people learn to look outside of their self for love, when actually the only love they will ever feel comes from within.  In any given moment we choose how we feel based on what we believe about ourselves.

I don't think we need to be indifferent to people whom we think are showing a lack of love toward us.  They are only showing us where they do not love their self.  Their feelings are their own, just like your feelings are your own.  We really have no control over how someone else chooses to think and feel.  There's book titled something like... "My Reputation is None of My Business."  This is fitting because we have no control over how someone chooses to feel.  For example, if someone is angry, then their anger is their problem.  They are the one choosing to be angry.  They could just as easily choose to be understanding and compassionate.  Whatever they are angry about really has nothing to do with you.  It is about their own self.  

You can choose not to let the things people say and do bother you.  You don't have to choose to feel hurt or unworthy of being loved because the one who knows how to love you best, is you.

Love, Kathy  

 

Yeah Kathy,

The one I learned from one of my clients is, "What you think of me is none of my business". I remember this when someone is critical of me and I sense that it's really their trip. I've also passed this on to some of my other clients who get a kick out of this way of handling criticisum.

Love, Jean :-*

Kathy, what you were saying reminds me of a book I read a long time ago, so sorry I can't remember the title...but it was about feelings.  The main thing I learned from it was that we all have feelings, obviously, and that it is a natural process to have feelings.  But how we choose to react to those feelings is something that we do have control over.  

I think a lot of what helps us to love ourselves and in essence have a good image of ourself is in how we react to others.